Sweet dreams
I arrive just as spouse is tucking them in to bed. “Right, so no pull-up then!” he announces in a booming tone. I stop dead and pout. No pull-up? Who is he to determine withdrawal of pull-up privileges? Is he responsible for the laundry? The inevitable carpet cleaning? Now there's a man who is totally out of line. I think about pulling rank. I decide to keep my own counsel instead, and content myself with thoughts of the following morning's 'I told you so scene.'
The nerve of the man!
I kiss my children good night, hide my pout and return downstairs to smolder. What could he have been thinking, to change the rules in such are arbitrary fashion? No preamble, no warning, no carefully implemented campaign. The man must be completely barmy? I can think of no rational reason why he should have chosen tonight to turn the bed time routine upside down. I froth, stew and steam. [translation = voodoo dolls] I won't have time to do an additional load of laundry tomorrow. The knock on effects could be earth shattering! No spare bed linen. Bare bed. More upset to bed time routine. No sleep for anyone. Curse the man!
In between fumes, I consider my own plan. It's not as if we haven't attempted this 'dry at night' campaign before, it's just that it has yet to be successful. There's no reason that we shouldn't implement a new campaign, we just need careful thought beforehand. How can I have 'beforehand' if we're already after? [translation = failure at the first fence is not a good reinforcer] All campaigns must be orchestrated with the finesse of a conductor. I suppress a growl. Spouse looks across at me. He is unable to detect the steam coming out of my ears, “are you alright love?”
“Fine!”
“Anything wrong?”
“No, nothing. I'm fine, just fine!” I do my best flounce and depart. [translation = high dudgeon] I swear he the most annoying person on the planet. Who does he think he is? Why is the other adult in the household such a complete nit wit. The venom and bile accumulate, but are well leashed.
I debate whether I should lift him later before we go to bed ourselves. Should I haul 56 pounds of sleeping boy onto the toilet? I decide to delete. I stomp back into the family room, because flouncing more than once in any one day, decreased it’s impact. “You’ll be o.k. lifting him later?” I announce rhetorically. He blinks in my direction, “er, sure, if that’s what you want?”
“Me? What I want? And how exactly do my ‘wants’ suddenly come into the equation now?”
“Hmm what?”
“You asked if that is what ‘I want,’ but you weren’t concerned with my wants when you pulled the pull-ups!” I snap with the perfect enunciation of the truly incensed.
“Pulled? Pull-ups? What are you on about?”
“You told him he didn’t have to wear a pull up, without us talking about it first!” I squeak. [translation = and inadvertently spit at the same time]
“Ah! I see.”
“Well?”
“Well what?”
“What do you have to say for yourself!” [translation = Lummy! I've turned into my husband's mummy]
“Well, I er, didn’t have much choice really.” I wait. I wait a bit longer. I suppress a sigh. “Why did you have no choice?”
“Well, it was him wasn’t it.”
“What was him?”
“Him,… I mean…, he said it, he asked, er, he said he didn’t want to wear a pull up any more…… now that he was a big boy, although……those weren’t the words he used………but that’s what he meant,…….I think, yes, that’s what he meant, I’m quite sure.”
“Well why didn’t you tell me that in the first place! That changes everything!”
Moral – before you flounce, feel free to ferret around for the facts first.
July 31st, 2007 at 10:25 pm
Fact find first. Got it!
July 31st, 2007 at 11:21 pm
If it makes you feel any better, getting rid of the night-time pull-ups helped both kids have fewer day-time accidents as well. It was just something about the back-and-forth that messed them up. Good luck!
August 1st, 2007 at 5:26 am
Well? Did it WORK?
Joey decided one day to put on underwear, and that was that. Andy has been different- until he can poo in the potty, pull-ups are prescribed.
August 1st, 2007 at 5:39 am
Yes. we have these talks. Amazingly, he is more likely to pee himself if he’s in a pull-up. It’s almost like he’s got tacit approval to do so. We have been talking about underwear, how if he has anything more to drink that he needs to tinkle before bed…slowly, it’s working.
August 1st, 2007 at 6:52 am
I have to remind myself not to jump before I speak … How did it go? The night without pull ups?
August 1st, 2007 at 12:08 pm
I love the idea of flouncing about, I shall do it often from now on…
August 1st, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Ahh the knee-jerk reaction, I am so good at that – putting both feet in my mouth! And I loved how you did all the “pissed off wife” appropriate words and dances… too funny because we’ve ALL been there! I so hope your son’s determination to go pull-ups free worked out great. When he reaches that point, it’s an amazing accomplishment!
August 1st, 2007 at 4:03 pm
In there is an entire good point and me? I’m stuck on, oh my how did the night go? LOL at me. Good moral.
August 1st, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Oooh, I hate it when I flounce for no reason at all.
Hope the Pull-up experiment went well.
August 1st, 2007 at 4:10 pm
Without letting out anyone’s secrets, I think if would be fair to say that the washing machine is paying the price for such a cavalier attitude. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to whip upstairs with the carpet cleaner, some people have such poor aim.
August 1st, 2007 at 4:13 pm
Oh! You told that so well! Hilarious!
August 1st, 2007 at 4:22 pm
I hate when they make you look bad during a really good argument. It always goes down differently in my head. I hope he had a dry night. I remember those days…I did lots of laundry. lol!
August 1st, 2007 at 4:51 pm
Ooops…
But I admire your astounding attempt at alliteration.
August 1st, 2007 at 5:21 pm
Heh. I do this all the time, flouncing before fact-finding. Oops.
And oops again the next morning, so sorry about that.
August 1st, 2007 at 5:23 pm
My son is nearly completely potty trained and he only wears pullups at night. Luckily they are dry most of the time, but I hate changing sheets in the middle of the night and he will wake me up if he is wet.
However, my husband will put him in a pull up day, night, morning, evening – anytime he is the primary caregiver. Pisses me off to no end!!!!! I mean, if I can clean up poop that is run down his leg at McDonalds (but Mommy, I wanted to keep playing!) can’t hubby? grrrrrr…….
August 1st, 2007 at 5:23 pm
Wow. I am totally weepy right now. He’s a big boy! Good for him. I hope your laundry pile isn’t higher because of it! I typically fleece first unfortunately. I am popular for criticizing things I don’t know about, and tell first and ask after…
That was a great read. I haven’t been able to stay current this summer. Ashley
August 1st, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Oh, what a happy thing!—isn’t it wonderful to always be learning New Things?
And doing so together?
Glad to see you at “my place.”
Please feel free to stop by anytime.
Cheers indeed!
August 1st, 2007 at 6:27 pm
Maddy, such a wonderful description of a place we have *all* been over some imagined affront (or some very real ones, too!). ROFL at your theatrics.
Sorry to hear about the poor aim…I’d giggle if it were your husband having to clean up. Since it’s you…Nik did the same to me yesterday afternoon…right as I was changing his diaper! UGH! (See my comment in today’s post about the carpet and you’ll understand!) Cheers.
August 1st, 2007 at 7:01 pm
Ahhh…crow is such a nasty bird isn’t it? You told that beautifully.
August 1st, 2007 at 8:35 pm
Don’t you hate being able to keep your trap shut only to find yourself imploding in a sputtering mess twenty minutes later?
Thanks for sharing this slice of marital humanity.
December 26th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
[...] Some parents have a partner to assist them in the task of raising children, others are less fortunate. Others still, fail to appreciate the “input of the other parent.” [...]