Food and growth
Many people have a hard time understanding why the parents of special needs children are so incredibly inefficient.
So many of these children are more than capable but their parents get in the way of progress. [translation = a lawful impediment] Most parents have the best of intentions, but sometimes it can take a very long time for what appear to be simple skills, to be mastered.
In this particular household, we have been struggling with mealtimes for many a long year. For one of my sons, food is aversive. Like many children, food is of no interest to him. [translation = refueling stop] A wise parent would open a catering carton of Goldfish crackers and be done with it. [translation = guilty as charged] Other more foolish parents, know that the food campaign must be maintained. [translation = what's a few more months or years at this stage of the game] I already know, that there is a very fine line to be followed. [translation = push to hard and he can not eat for five days straight] I also know that we are slowly moving in the right direction. [translation = from 3 foods to 17 foods in three and a half years]
We start our day before it is light. My son drapes himself on the table shoveling breakfast cereal into his mouth that remains open, whilst he attempts mastication. [translation = many speech delayed children have a hard time controlling where their tongue is, in relation to all the other bits and bobs in there] He attempts to talk at the same time. [translation = bad table manners but how we love those moments of voluntary communication]
“When it is?”
“What is what dear?” I think for a second. Did he just say 'when' rather than 'what'? He did! I blink and await elucidation.
“I din say 'what' I say 'whennnn!'?”
“Yes, thank you. I realize that now. Seems like my ears aren't working properly this morning.” How many more failing body parts am I to discover?
“Das o.k.” So magnanimous. I wait. I do not prompt him to continue because then I might jinx my chances. I wait a bit more, listen to the crunching cereal and watch Cheerios ping around to various quarters of the room. [translation = one of the penalties of poor lip closure]
“So…..I say…..when it is?”
“When is what dear?”
I wonder how I'll manage with this new phrase and my new response? Maybe I should dig out a new response to use for the next six months? What new response would be a better response?
“When I am having my snack?” he bellows as he chucks his spoon into the bowl with a clatter, clutches both tightly, springs from the chair with the skill of a gymnast, skitters to the sink, flings them both into the bowl, flips back around 180 degrees with a grin from ear to ear to finish with, “coz I finish my breakfast and I am being dah hungry!”
[translation = balm to the barmy ears]
Gold medal winner that he is.
August 9th, 2007 at 11:16 pm
My goodness am I glad you visited my blog….because I got the chance to meet you. I read this post and my heart went pitter patter for you. You are clearly a special mommy, a mom and teacher to a beautiful beautiful boy (love the pics). God gave your son exactly the mother he needed. No doubt about it. I’ll look forward to reading more about you, please come visiting me anytime you wish! xoxo
August 10th, 2007 at 5:00 am
Your stories are so heartwarming because they give such good insight into parenting and…most of all… the patience that mothers need to have.
August 10th, 2007 at 6:26 am
I am winning slowly with the eldest – no veggies yet. Can’t complain, he eats well and better all the time.
The little one and I “discuss” food regularly, ok daily. Otherwise he would eat a steady diet of cheerios.
And I swore that was one fight I wouldn’t fight. I would simply refuse to be a short order cook.
Yeah…. wishful dreaming
S.
August 10th, 2007 at 6:27 am
You know I love reading everything you write. Patrick also asks when snack is, usually as he’s still chewing the remnants of his last meal in his mouth.
August 10th, 2007 at 8:39 am
I too, have a child with food issues. I am awed at the progress you and your son have made, and would LOVE to know how you progressed this far. Jaysen just simply refuses to try anything new!
August 10th, 2007 at 10:03 am
Love the first picture, that’s awesome
.
August 10th, 2007 at 10:33 am
A snack after breakfast – sounds like a great time to try a new food? Or maybe not
Love the pictures!!
August 10th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
Looks like you’ve got a budding gymnast in your midst. If he eats too much, he won’t be able to make those awesome moves
Anyway, he looks pretty healthy and energetic for a neophobic child. Your patience, humor, and resourcefulness never cease to amaze and inspire me. Under you astute guidance, he’ll surely add a new food or two to the list before his seventh birthday. Beautiful pictures, especially the first one.
August 10th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
I’ve been a naughty blogging buddy! I can’t wait to read, read, read and catch up on your posts. I love reading your blog. We have “second breakfast” of cheerios most days around here!!
August 10th, 2007 at 6:30 pm
Oh how I live for the day! Fantastic news, Maddy! So what did you give him for a snack…and WHEN?
August 10th, 2007 at 8:26 pm
OMG!! It’s the little things—-D actually was able to drink from a cup–no straw or sippy top–today. He decided that one of my china demitasse cups was what he wanted to drink from and poured many cups for me and himself. I cried, and told him how proud I am. Almost five and he now can finally do this. Something tells me that it won’t be his preference, but doing it….that’s the stuff. So, I do know of these little monumental moments!
August 10th, 2007 at 8:32 pm
heheh too cute. My girl does the same thing right after breakfast.
August 10th, 2007 at 10:31 pm
It’s good that he’s so excited about eating! So what was for snack?
August 11th, 2007 at 7:26 am
my 12 year old son veers from one thing to another but only one at a time. at the moment it is cornflakes for breakfast, egg noodles for lunch and egg noodles for tea, both times soaked in soy sauce and butter. in between he will graze on cherry tomatoes and carrots sliced and doused in lemon juice. he is really healthy so we don’t fret too much – like you when we tried to widen the food thing he went off it altogether and he is skin and bone as it is!
August 11th, 2007 at 9:13 am
Thanks for dropping by my new blog. I have had a website for years, but needed the diversion of blogging at times. What a wonderful blessing for you to have a “great” table experience!
Oh does the table struggle sound interesting. Levi must play with his food for at least 30 minutes before he can eat it most of the time. He has to separate and categorize it in a way that appeals to his mind. He has to be encouraged or he would pass on eating most of the time. For the longest time he would not drink anything but breast milk or forumla. He still REFUSES to drink water, but he does drink soda pop (bad mommy I am sure many are thinking) and apple juice now. Oh and Levi can only sit at one place at the table or else he cannot eat. However, these things have become dear to my heart!
Blessings to you!
August 11th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
Hi McEwen,
Thanks for the comment at 4-frogs. Frog is busy eating goldfish crackers upstairs (that made me think of your boys).
New words and request for snack after breakfast!?! That sounds like progress – Yeah! I know what a struggle you’ve had with food issues. I wish you the best of luck. None of the tricks of the trade seem to work for Frog – he just made up his mind to start trying things. He’s been on antibiotics (in theory – he/we wear more than he ingests) this week and did have an antibiotic shot last week. I don’t know if that made a difference how appealing the food appeared, smelled, tasted. I don’t think his food issues were ever as sever as your boy’s, and he doesn’t show any OCD tendencies so we are lucky there.
Language and communication is still our biggest hurdle. I so enjoy reading your posts and hearing your boys’ observations and comments. They make me look at things twice before assuming I know what Frog is thinking.
All the best to you and your family,
Frogs’ Mom