Oral defensiveness and budgetary control
Many, many lifetimes ago, I was a purist. My first born child lived on a diet of ambrosia. [translation = organic, fresh produce, lovingly prepared without salt or any other pollutants] Sugar was an unknown substance to her. It is directly because of this mistake that I now suffer the consequences.
My youngest son, now aged 6 and a half protects his mouth, because he has oral defensiveness. This symptom is one of many that an autistic child may or may not have. [translation = optional extra with no additional charge] He is also neophobic. [translation = fears food] His bravery in the food department has grown considerably over the last few years following early intervention to help de-sensitize his mouth. Instead of only eating three foods [Goldfish, Cheerios and milk] he now enjoys a relatively vast panoply of some 17 foods. [translation = when he reaches 21 'foods,' he can cast off the label 'neophobic,' as the cut off is 20] Yes, it's true. Very soon he will graduate from 'neophobic' to 'picky eater.' Horray!
In the meantime, I have other pressing concerns, namely cost. Some six months ago I stopped reveling in the delight of watching my son eat his 13th food. [translation = baby oatmeal] I no longer concerned myself with the pleasure of knowing that he was consuming 4 ounces of milk along with the dreaded baby oatmeal. I was growing tired of experimenting with different coloured, expensive, sprinkles and sugars, to dust the surface and entice his tastebuds and lure his eyes. Why was I buying little packets of very expensive baby oatmeal for a 6 year old? This behaviour had to stop. Those packets, even the very big ones, are very small. This means that they are also very expensive. [translation = because they are little] If you are six years old with a big tummy, not a baby tummy, you can write off a packet every five days. At $3.99 a pop, such extravagance had to cease! [translation = if not forthwith, then at least lets make a start]
I stole some of spouse's Quaker Oats, big boy food that is especially good for those with diabetes, heart conditions, high cholesterol and weight issues. In order to make oatmeal, [translation = porridge] the chef must grind those rolled oats to dust. This provided me with my aerobic workout for the day. It still had 'bits' but they were little bits, not big bits.
I am happy to report that after six months of de-sensitization, Junior will now consume porridge. We have yet to go 'cold turkey' on the sugar sprinkles, but we're moving in the right direction.
Whilst shopping in the supermarket, my little eye, spied a handy dandy convenient alternative. Individual sachets of different flavoured porridge with all kinds of enticements therein, such as sugar dinosaurs. Admittedly, dinosaurs are a thing of the past in this household, [translation = extinct on the planet and extinguished at home] but there is always an outside chance that we can tempt him in to pastures new.[translation = try anything once]
“He ain't gonna eat it Mom!” she says succinctly, as I sit in my usual position. [translation – next to my son with a teaspoon quarter loaded in what I hope is an attractive manner]
“Who could resist that cute little red dinosaur or that winkum dinkum little yellow egg!” I ask rhetorically. She doesn't answer, merely rolls her eyes and gently shakes her head.
My son sits in his carver chair [translation = caged to the table] His knees are curled up to his chin. His arms wrap themselves around his legs leaving his hands free to be clamped over his mouth. He has double protection, as the right hand fans out over the left hand. Just in case I have devious plans, his eyes are squeezed tight shut. The spit bowl is strategically placed at the point on the table where his elbow might be, if his elbows were not already tucked neatly into his sides. I couldn't have done a better job myself even if I had put him in a straight jacket. He is as neatly coiled as a spring.
My older son continues to eat his Weetabix with a fork, slowly, but feels the need to add his two pennarth. “I dun fink he is gonna eat it either!”
“Well thank you for sharing guys!”
This has been the daily scene for some ten days now. Six months to go from baby oatmeal to adult porridge. How long to go from porridge with sugar sprinkles, to porridge adulterated with other substances? I begin to wonder if this campaign is an improvement or merely cyclical? Whilst wholesome mothers of the world serve their offspring the best that money and effort can provide, I, on the other hand, am rocketing my own son into the somewhat murky world of dental caries. Is one flake of oats beneficial if accompanied by it’s own weight in sugar? [translation = logic and mathematical challenge of the century]
I remember the penniless student at University. He decided to save money and made up a vat of porridge which he poured into the top drawer of his desk. After several weeks of this exclusive mono diet, he was carted off to hospital with a severe case of Rickets. I wonder which is better, Rickets, achieving adulthood but without the benefit of teeth or malnutrition if not death? My arm begins to ache and draws me back to the matter at hand.
Her fingers toy with my tools of the trade. The face cloth that is now cooling, the vibrating spoon, all used to de-sensitize his face and mouth prior to his ordeal. “How long do yah think it's gonna be this time?” she asks distractedly, glancing at the window. She continues, “you know you've forgotten the tick chart, or shall we use stickers or stamps?” [translation = additional motivational tools for the truly desperate] I look at my daughter who will be ten in 6 months. “I'd forgotten about those dear, thank you! What do you think? Which one shall we use?”
Junior interjects and unravels to announce his own solution, the lowest common denominator, “I know! We be doing dah tick chart wiv dah stamps AND dah M&M’s for each mouthful I am being swallowed in my tummy.” [translation = as opposed to spat out]
Lummy! Things really have improved! [translation = the M&M days are long gone{faded and finally extinguished}]
It's just as well that there are other people around to remind me of the full arsenal at my disposal.
So saying, neophobia is one matter, but other people have a whole plethora of food difficulties or an entirely different magnitude as you can see over at my pal “Phantom’s” blog at “the Phantom Scribbler.”
There again, I’m suffering from a little oral defensiveness “myself.”
August 6th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
Every little bite, or attempted bite, or hoped-for bite, counts.
My guy has never had a thing for oatmeal—-just rice, rice, rice.
August 7th, 2007 at 5:31 am
My guys still don’t eat oatmeal. No idea why, I love it. Breakfast is our hardest meal- limited menu.
August 7th, 2007 at 8:50 am
I enjoy the way you describe everyday life with your family. It really helps me to visualize it. We have our various struggles with Autism (high functioning still has its share of struggles) here, but since my oldest reads my blogs and doesn’t really know he has Autism I can’t write much about it. We are trying to figure out the best way to introduce him to that.
August 7th, 2007 at 9:08 am
That sure sounds a lot like my son. I can definitely sympathize. But it does get better. My son is 9.5 now and this is the first year that we can leave the house for an extended period of time without having to pack special food for him. He’s still a very picky eater, but he’s getting better (gradually).
We’ve started watching shows like Iron Chef on the Food Network and getting him involved in helping cook. He still may not eat the foods he’s handling, but it wasn’t log ago that the very sight of certain foods (like spaghetti) would make him throw up. He’s still got a ways to go, but he’s come so far from those days, I just wanted to share some words of encouragement that it does get better.
August 7th, 2007 at 10:11 am
I have decided to not care anymore about this problem—not because I couldn’t worry about it, but because I’m tired of doing so. My child does not eat wet food. You name it, if your finger could be described as moist after eating it, it’s not going to happen. But, he is growing and is healthy. It’s not worth it to me to watch him be petrified of ice cream or to foist steamed broccoli on him. Things have improved and foods have been added to our list. I have faith that things will continue to get better even if I think I live with the constant HoneyComb eater.
August 7th, 2007 at 10:55 am
Just wanted to thank you for your comment on my site. I find it hard some days to not feel like I’m totally insane! But you made my day with your thought – Thanks!
August 7th, 2007 at 11:06 am
My visits are a bit random at the moment with it being the summer holidays, but I have the advantage of having my computer next to the oven in the kitchen. If you’re not as lucky as me in this respect perhaps you could rip your computer off the wall and plant it in the kitchen too! Or does that only work for lap tops?
August 7th, 2007 at 11:59 am
I tried fuitlessly;) to get my boy to eat a well balanced diet. But no vegetable has entered his body since he was around a year.
August 7th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Your kids eat oatmeal? My two that don’t have food issues won’t touch it. Then again… maybe they do have food issues since they have pronounced oatmeal as “too slimy”
August 7th, 2007 at 5:45 pm
Boy, this SO hit home with me. My son hardly will eat anything and he either gags or screams over new foods. His foods are so limited that I sometimes don’t know how he exists.
Can I ask, did you/do you do anything special to de-sensitize him to certain foods? We have tried so many things, to no avail.
August 7th, 2007 at 7:44 pm
My older son is not neophobic but is definitely a picky eater. As a baby, he wouldn’t transition from smooth baby food to baby food with lumps, and he gagged and often threw up at unfamiliar or textured foods; to this date (he’s almost ten) he will eat only spaghetti, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, pizza, bread, cheese, milk, and orange juice. Oh, and dessert. And we have fought so, so hard to get to this point.
I think you’re an amazing mom to handle what’s on your plate (heh) with such humor and sensitivity.
August 7th, 2007 at 8:31 pm
AAh, what we Moms go through for our kids, huh? Strangely enough my son’s limited diet broadened when we cut out wheat and dairy. Now he eats more variety but he definitely misses his pizza! Someday they will thank us?, LOL. I love your blog and writing style!
August 7th, 2007 at 10:01 pm
Red candy sprinkles are our friends.
Have you seen the jigglers over at abilitations.com? They’re fun for oral vibration…
August 8th, 2007 at 6:44 am
Your patience amazes me. I really hope that by sharing all of your amazing approaches and techniques someone can benefit from them!
August 8th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
I love that word–neophobia. I have never heard that but Ethan definitely fits the bill for that one. Variety is not his middle name!
May 18th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
my son is almost 10yrs old & around 15mns is when oral defensiveness hit my home. of course we did not know at this time what it was. to this day he has not eaten a vegetable! oh i take that back–he will nibble on a baby sweet carrot and it can take up to 1/2 hr to eat 1/4 of that mini carrot! But,,,he’s trying!! my son lives on peanut butter/cheese/milk/
frenchfries/cocoa-puffs & spagetti-no meat. until he was around 8 1/2 yrs old he only ate bread/peanut-butter/milk & spagetti-no meat and
french-fries. He has progressed now to chicken
nuggets and grilled cheese sandwiches. he doesnt care for peanutbutter sandwiches but will eat peanut butter alone. I am trying to have him atleast lick something new-of course to no avail will he give in unless its a desert and that has only occured approx 3-times in 2yrs!! His spagetti sauce has to look just right w/o any spices,spots or anything in it!! Ragu orig seems to be the best! I have tried placing 1-part of 1-greenbean on his plate and he cannot touch his food if its on his plate. Up until he was around 6yrs old-he could open the frig and literally gag/vomit just at looking at food! sometimes he was unable to sit w/us at the table for dinner. I see those same four foods are not agreing w/him as in his past & hope it will lead to four more new foods, but so far no luck!!! Occupational therapists only wants to desensatize his mouth on her time during school hours so ofcourse we did not go that route. I can offer him new game systems, $$$$ and everything I know he loves if he will just eat one(1)-corn kernel or a piece of meat the size of 1/2 of a raisin!!! No-go!!!! Lately he has been experiencing stomach problems which I have heard occurs when their diet consists of nothing more than staples(fries). My son & I have discussed in depth how important it is for him to start new foods to help him grow strong. Fortunetly- I have read that oral defensiveness does not play a role in learning. He is highly intelligent and can memorize bible verses after looking them over & reading them only a few times! He is very skilled in math and exceeds his grade x4. He did have a speech delay as presumed w/most children w/oral defens. To this day sometimes his speech is hard to understand if he is excited. But, by looking & talking to him on a reg. basis you would not suspect anything. He will drink lots of fruit juices now and I am supplementing his diet w/vitamins from Juice Plus. They are caplets and tasteless. I mixed the vegetable tab in his peanut butter and would spread it on his bread and then cover it w/somemore peanut butter because it would alter the color a little bit. And as you probably know-you cannot alter the color of the only foods they eat! These vitamin capsules come in a fruit and a vegetable
and are seperate capsules. Write me back if you are interested in getting info on them!! I feel they make a big difference. They are natural & do not contain anything to harm the heart or body!! My son now knows about the vitamins being mixed in his food. It was a little hard for him to chew that first peanutbutter sandwich aft watching me put the vitamin in it, but he ate it!!! good sign!!!! these vitamins are made from fruit/vegetable juices & pulp. My next step is to get him to add it himself… Well just want you to know your not alone out there!!!
Shirley