The Discovery Channel and fine tuning

 

For Carolyn and David – hope your translation powers are up to par!

“I have been dah discovered!”
“Really? What have you discovered dear?”
“I have discovered……dat…….I am not liking dah green eggs and ham.” I look at him. Is he telling something that I don't already know? Something that he didn't know? Or is this just a way of exercising the use of a new favourite word 'discovered'?
“Well thank you so much for telling me that dear.” It's genuine, I really am glad that he now wishes to share little matters of a trivial or social nature.
“D'you know wot?”
“What dear?”
“Dere are uvver fings dat I am discovered too!”
“I'm sure there are. Would you like to tell me some of them perhaps?”
“No! Dey are dah secret discovered.”
“Secrets. Oh you shouldn't have any secrets, well at least you shouldn't have any secrets from me. Never have secrets from your mum.” I deliver this in what I hope is an authoritative tone or maybe a warning.
“Er…..what it is?”
“What is what dear?”
“Dah voice?”
“What voice?”
“Er…..yur voice dat is coming from you?”
“Um?”
“I mean it is dah lagoon.”
“What is a lagoon?”
“Yur voice is dah lagoon.”
“It is?”
He pulls a scary face, leers with claw hands by his ears, to mimic a breathy horror movie tone, “yes, you are dah secret of dah black lagoon.”

Oh dear! It seems I'll have to mind my tone, and moderate my moan.

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Posted on September 6th, 2007.
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13 Comments

  1. Mary-LUE:
    September 6th, 2007 at 11:01 pm

    You are probably not the first parent to have been perceived as a creature from the black lagoon but you might be the first to be so named by your child!

  2. gettingthere:
    September 7th, 2007 at 4:45 am

    Loved it! I’ve had my fair share of “secwents” that couldn’t be revealed because, well, they were secret. My Billy Gruff voice usually elicited laughter and confession of such misdemeanors as unauthorized experiments gone wrong and hidden away in unusual corners.

  3. kristen:
    September 7th, 2007 at 6:06 am

    Oh Maddy, this is priceless. I loved every word!!

  4. Tena Russ:
    September 7th, 2007 at 6:29 am

    Maddy, you would probably be a great actress. Hey, you could to voice-overs! Those people make a fortune!

  5. Niksmom:
    September 7th, 2007 at 7:04 am

    Ooh…scawy! Vewy scawy! You crack me up, Maddy. :-)

  6. Cottontales:
    September 7th, 2007 at 11:28 am

    WOW, that is a discovery… your own mother from the black lagoon! too funny!
    For proper imagery, do your children have English accents?

  7. Kim Stagliano:
    September 7th, 2007 at 11:47 am

    MY BOY!!!!!!! Check out my post on Thursday May 3rd. You’ll see what I mean.

  8. Angela:
    September 7th, 2007 at 12:03 pm

    You have to be careful about those secrets. Next time pretend to be not so scary. So sweet!

  9. Melissa:
    September 7th, 2007 at 12:40 pm

    That’s too funny!! :) I remember one of my kids asking me not to use the “scary voice”

  10. kailani:
    September 7th, 2007 at 1:06 pm

    It’s so interesting to see how we’re perceived some times. Great reminder.

  11. melody is slurping life:
    September 7th, 2007 at 11:13 pm

    :) Loved reading this and many others of your posts.

    My Aspie son loves “The Black Lagoon”.

  12. Purple_Kangaroo:
    September 7th, 2007 at 11:46 pm

    LOL, I love his way of putting things.

  13. chelle:
    September 8th, 2007 at 7:41 pm

    HAHAHA I so know I am a monster some days in the eyes of my daughter! Perfect post!