Be careful what you wish for
He always protests at first, that’s just what he does. When in doubt stall at the first hurdle. He fends me off with an arrow head in a neat pincher grip as I swoop in on my prey. As soon as we make bodily contact he starts wailing as I lift him off his feet, flailing, “I am be kill you wiv my fing!” he announces. “What thing?” I ask casually, knowing that he refers to the half inch plastic squidgey arrow head. I carry him fireman style over one shoulder floppy and co-operative despite the noise. Once he is in the bath he will be as happy as a clam, it’s just the same old transition resistance. Mr. Clean, or squeaky to his friends has an in-built resistance to everything. “Dis fing dat I am having in my hand.” He stabs me gently in the back to demonstrate it’s magical powers of persuasion.
“Ah, and what is it called? Do you know what it is?” He sounds more adenoidal with every advancing step up the stair case to the bath, but that’s probably because it’s hard to breathe when you’re bobbing along upside down and trying to hold a conversation at the same time. “Yes!” he hisses breathily whilst slurping back the accumulated drool, because lip closure is another ongoing campaign.
“Well, what is it then?”
“It is not dah arrowhead.”
“Oh. Really? What is it then?”
“It is dah magic fing dat makes dah bath water beed disappear.” I step into the bathroom and deposit him upright on his feet in the room of devastation. Piles of soggy towels and clothes are everywhere, along with a few trails of bubbles and a more than waterlogged spouse. “Oh!” he says, standing up from his kneeling position on the bathmat. A cloth dangles from his hand as he wipes the grime of the tide, “I thought I’d already done him! Did I miss him somehow?”
His son steps gingerly towards the bath as the last drops of water gurgle down the hole. “Agh! It is be worked!” he stares at the arrowhead and then back to the empty bath. “Oh no, now I be dah dirty little mucky puppy. I need be dah clean and shiny one. Stoopid arrow.” He hurls it aside in disgust.
Stumble it!
October 27th, 2007 at 3:06 am
You have to laugh!!!
October 27th, 2007 at 3:10 am
“Oh no, now I be dah dirty little mucky puppy. I need be dah clean and shiny one. Stoopid arrow.”
I love the way he puts things.
October 27th, 2007 at 3:24 am
You always make me laugh, plus you do an amazing job parenting your children. Thankyou
October 27th, 2007 at 3:39 am
Is this bathtime at your house or mine!?!
LOL xx
October 27th, 2007 at 5:11 am
Poor guy I know how he feels. Hoping for something to work a certain way and then realizing thats not what you wanted at all
October 27th, 2007 at 8:51 am
The title for this one says it all! I LOVE IT!
October 27th, 2007 at 9:48 am
Ha ha! Great stuff!
October 27th, 2007 at 9:50 am
Thats hysterical!
October 27th, 2007 at 10:19 am
Too funny!
October 27th, 2007 at 10:56 am
Too.Funny! Thanks for the laugh on this gloomy, rainy Saturday!
October 27th, 2007 at 11:41 am
Thanks for the giggle!
The bath tub is one of those places of wonder where I spend hours trying to get them IN and hours trying to get them OUT. And it has magical powers…the boys always come out with the exact opposite mood than what they went in with!
October 27th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
Smiles!
October 27th, 2007 at 8:28 pm
That is just too adorable. What a cutie. I love the puppy line.
October 27th, 2007 at 8:41 pm
What is up with bathtime? My kid LOVES taking a bath yet HATES getting into a bath …
October 28th, 2007 at 4:21 am
Yes, it is hard to talk upside down. I think he did a marvellous job
October 28th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
“dah dirty little mucky puppy” is a super phrase, must remember to borrow that. Poor guy, sometimes it really isn’t good to get what you say you want.
November 17th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Ok, I know people are LOLing about things all over the Internet, when they don’t literally mean that they are laughing out loud, but that actually did make me laugh out loud!