The Current Exchange Rate
She pleads as only she can.
I squirm in response and fob her off with some nonsense or other.
“But I'll help, really I will, I promise.”
I do not like to see my youngest daughter beg, especially for something that is easily within my power to grant.
“Maybe soon.”
“When?”
“We'll have to see.” May my soul burn in hell forever.
“But why can't we have one this weekend?”
I do no sigh or stamp my foot or run away. I think she knows the truth of the matter but I do not want to give her cause to resent her brothers.
“Tell you what. We will have a yard sale, but not this weekend. Now I need some time to think about this but I promise you we'll have one.” She looks at my eyes, checks my mouth and then gives me an excited hug.
Now all I have to do is work out how to follow through?
It's not the usual planning that concerns me. We've lived in the States for 12 years. A Yard sale is just like a car boot sale, except you don't sell things out of the boot of your car and you don't have to drive the car to the car boot sale. Instead you put all the items you wish to sell in your front garden for passersby to see. Generally the 'sale' is on the driveway rather than in the garden itself, which is why it's not called a garden sale, which might confuse people into thinking that you were selling plants. It's quite easy to convert the British version to the American version.
In addition, you need a few signs on poles to direct traffic to where you are.
Sometimes Americans have a 'block' sale, where all the home owners in the 'block' have a huge sale together. It's all very easy. Sometimes there can be quite a party atmosphere. Often the neighbours will wander over to say hello, even if they have no intention of buying anything, all very pleasant. Or it could be.
So why have I put off this venture for so long, when my house is stuffed to the gunnels? It is full of things that I would happily donate to charity, just to be rid of it all? Why do I regularly go to the Salvation Army or the Thrift store to off load this surplus, rather than have a yard sale and maybe make a little money? Obviously, we are as rich as Croesus and have no need for money to offset the therapy bills, or we're lazy, or perhaps our socialist tendencies have run amock?
Or perhaps there's something else going on?

The first problem, er…issue, is containment. Our house is the only one on the street that has a fence around the garden and two gates with locks. But we would have the sale on the driveway. Driveways are huge in America and we are no different. You could easily fit two rows of three cars on the driveway, and heaven knows how many diddy little European cars.
The drive is house brick coloured, with a white picket fence down one side leading up to the house. On the other side, our neighbour has the typical open plan arrangement. Tree lined at 3 foot intervals, on the side that borders our drive. The drive inevitably leads to the road. The road is Tarmaced or 'black topped' as we say out here. There is no sidewalk or path because we are in an unincorporated area of San Jose. Black road, reddish drive. The difference is obvious to everyone, well nearly everyone.
The emptiness of the drive is contrasted by the fast moving traffic on the road but for some reason, this difference is not noticeable to my sons. The thought of having them loose on the driveway, in a crowd of strangers, weighs heavily on my mind. This kind of mathematical problem is easy to solve: $25.83 from the yard sale proceeds balanced against the cost of loss or injury, to two little boys.
I am confident that this matter will fade given time and maturity, but of course there is another major hurdle to overcome.
A yard sale, so commonplace and ordinary, screams social skills. All those little huge things require pre-planning, modeling and practice. I don't know how many hours it would take to plan a good yard sale with labels and the correct positioning of items, but I do know that the social skills required to pull of such a feat, requires several lifetimes.
The boys do well with visitors that they know, although 'doing well' often means 'ignore,' to all intents and purposes. Fortunately, familiar visitors are fine with this. They know that this means that the boys are at ease in their presence.
Strangers do not fare so well. Strangers get 'the treatment.' It's like a faulty engine on a chilly morning. My social son runs to the door, flings it open to bang back on the wall and then breathily asks many questions, “who you are? You are my friend? You are play? Er……you wanna come in for a playdate?” or some variation on a theme. The young man trying to sell magazine subscriptions, is a little taken aback as my son skips around his body with agitated hand gestures and invades his personal space.
My other son is more cautious, nibbles his fingers and spins on tip toes. His apparent shyness, is offset by his voice that bellows statements at fifty decibels, “I am 6. My name is Leo. I am home. My mum is call me dah lovely. Dah lovely has two 'l's' which is good, which makes 3 'L's which is gooder still which is like dah rhyme but not really.” The guys who want to save our souls, have lost their cherubic smiles and clutch leaflets closer to their snowy, crisp shirts. I pray that words relating to salvation or everlasting hell and damnation do not pass their lips.
And yet, not so long back, when the doorbell rang it had the same effect as a fire alarm. I was unable to leave them. My only option was to carry two screaming children to the door. They behaved as if I planned to dangle them over an open well. Overall, that was a far less welcoming welcome for a visitor.
This is why some siblings of some special needs children, get a rough deal. The ordinary becomes mountainous. As she follows in their wake to the front door, she's at ease and unflustered, “don't mind them,” she'll smile. She'll hug one brother and muss the hair of the other, “they can be a bit Cuckcoo sometimes when they get excited.”
The fact that we have one laundry basket full of trains and another two, full of dinosaurs, is concrete evidence of a potential, sale of the century. Their ability to barter, bargain and banter may be weak, but their willingness weigh in, means we've won a little wriggle room. Does this tip the scales in our favour?
A promise is a promise, so I'll keep you posted.























October 5th, 2007 at 2:00 am
Gosh I agree, it’s always the really common and ordinary stuff that most people take for granted that causes the most grief! It always comes back to the social skills (and a need for parental survival)!
PS The Australian version of a yard sale is a ‘garage’ sale (which ultimately spreads to the driveway or where ever there is space).
October 5th, 2007 at 3:34 am
Your youngest daughter sounds wonderful!
October 5th, 2007 at 5:30 am
That was really lovely! You youngest son reminds me so much of Amy, she talks so loud sometimes to people in the same room, I wonder if hearing aids need ever have been invented at all.
She introduces herself, telling visitor (whoever they are) her age, which school she goes to and the name of her teacher, then she usually turns on me, revealing my name, age and any other intimate detail which I generally wish to keep to myself.
Hope it all goes well. Do your children have road safety? Amy is completely unaware of the road and has no concept of cars and danger.
Crystal xx
October 5th, 2007 at 6:26 am
My guy has no sense of danger about the street or cars either. Nor does he have any inkling of how to sit still and quiet in crowds of people which makes in hard for both parents to be at chorus or orchestra concerts.
Good luck with the yard sale. I would love to see how you manage it, but I’m sure you will.
October 5th, 2007 at 6:36 am
Hi Maddy,
My limited experience with yard sales says that you should enlist a buddy to help out, especially at the cash register. I’ll be happy to loan you one of my German shepherd dogs, except that they count in German.
The photo of your son stroking the cat is adorable.
October 5th, 2007 at 6:38 am
Don’t fall for the promises! I have fallen victim to “the promise” and it bites me in the bum every time! I still haven’t learned, as my son “promised” (very sincerely) he would brush his teeth this morning- let’s just say he went to school with dragonbreath.
October 5th, 2007 at 8:26 am
Oy! I have to tell you I’ve avoided having a garage sale based on the work alone. Plus, down here in So Cal, people line up well before 6 a.m. to get the “good stuff.” They also try to talk your prices down–which is normal. However, wasting time trying to haggle over a 25 cent shirt? I shudder to think of it all.
I love hearing about the progress your boys have made and I love your including what they say in your posts, Maddy.
October 5th, 2007 at 8:43 am
Good luck! I’m going to guess that she’s not gonna forget this one! The last time we had a yard sale I hired a sitter to stay in the house with the kids. Mostly because I was selling a few things that I didn’t want them to see. Would that work at all??
October 5th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
Maybe … Dad could take the boys for the day and the girls can do the sale?!?! I am not sure how doable that is, but I have found having a yard sale last weekend I would have happily gave the children the day with their father and left me to do the “work” without commentary.
October 5th, 2007 at 2:25 pm
I agree this may be a ‘divide and conquor’ event…unless you want them to have the experience. You’re a braver woman than I!
October 5th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Too often I have felt that pull, between my poor daughter, who wants to do something fun, like go to the town beach or have a lemonade stand, and my son, who will inevitably disrupt the event. She has learned that we always try our best, but sometimes we have to scrap the whole ordeal and go home.
Good luck with your yard sale!
October 5th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
I’m going to use good old black plastic bags for my stuff. OK, a lot I gave to my SIL/BIL for their kids so I don’t have that much left over. And most of it garbage.
The sales are a lot of work. And the crowd comes early. I too would get the dh to take the boys to the playground/McD’s etc to keep them out from underfoot. Yes, it would help their social skills BUT, you’d spend all your time watching them and honestly, it would ruin your daughters fun of spending time with her Mom.
Which is why I am careful to have “his stuff – Timber wolves and library” and “his stuff – gym”.
S.
October 6th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Oh, do send the boys out for the day with dad, please! I’m sure your wonderful daughter would help you as she promised. Promise?