Ms. Nightingale's services are not required
“Agh! Agh! AGH!”
I fly to his side as he has surely impaled himself on a dagger.
I see vast quantities of tears, snot and drool, but it's definitely a blood free zone. Fooled again! I wait. I wait until the screams can turn into some words.
“It….is……badddd!” Great, and we're off to a swimming start.
“What's bad dear?”
He doesn't speak but raises a quivering finger tip to my nose without making contact. I feel my eyes cross.
“Oh dear, that is bad,” I lie.
“Bad! BaD! BAD!” he bellows.
I am still none the wiser. Sensitive, intuitive parents are so in tune with their children that they can get away without words. Other lesser mortals need every clue I can get. I notice that he holds a pair of nail clippers in his other hand. Aha! I reach for his hand and examine the offending finger again. His overly long, crud filled nails, have one little sliver adrift.
“Shall I nip that off for you?”
“NO! Don touch it!”
It was a silly offer. I know he has to do these things for himself, without assistance. He will master the skill or die in the process of learning.
“I am bad. I am bad. I am bad.”
“No you're not lovey, this is a tricky thing to do. It's so…….tiny.”
How frustrating it must be, to have such an eye for detail but the fine motor skills of a Sherman tank?
“It not tiny, it……….gigantic!” His fingers, or rather his finger tips, are only slightly less sensitive than the area above his shoulders, another ‘off limits’ space.
Nail and hair cutting can be a difficult arena for many a child, but once you dip into the murky waters of tactile defensiveness, the barrier is cordoned off with barbed wire.
The days when I would sneak into his room at night to try and snip a bit of this or trim a bit of that are long gone. That campaign was a failure, like so many others.
The only true solution is self help. I am relegated to the background, to the role of coach and cheerleader.
Maybe we’re both graduating?
November 9th, 2007 at 11:10 pm
Dear mom, how well I understand this dilemma. Pulling my Aspie’s two extremely loose teeth yesterday was like, uh, well, pulling teeth…but from a charging rhino with 8 flailing, flapping octopus arms and a wail to deafen neighbors 3 blocks away. And the teeth simply fell into my finger tips. Then he just walked away, no words. I get so confused sometimes.
November 10th, 2007 at 1:55 am
Gosh, I remember sneaking into my son’s bedroom at night to snip away a bit at the finger nails, and haircuts are still somewhat of a nightmare that we have to work up to for days!
For me to get near him for finger nails, bribery is always my only option – the trouble is it becomes very expensive!!!
November 10th, 2007 at 2:47 am
I hate doing fingernails!
Hate hate hate!
November 10th, 2007 at 6:29 am
Oh, I know what you are describing perfectly. That tiny sliver of nail that separates in the corner. My son gets that too, a lot! I fear from all the finger and hand sucking he does when he’s nervous or bored. And we get the same degree of fear and pain (though I’m certain there is no pain, but for him, there’s no way around it). And as Melody describes above, once the offending piece is removed–a difficult task with all the flailing around and screaming–he does just walk calmly away as though none of it ever happened.
Sigh.
November 10th, 2007 at 7:26 am
I’m lucky with fingernails but haircuts…..*sigh*
November 12th, 2007 at 3:03 am
Teeth and hair and i have just started shaving! Trying to shave C that is! I think he will have the longest beard in history along with his nails and hair!
November 12th, 2007 at 7:10 am
Haircuts always require an immediate trip to the toys store after said event. As far as nail clipping goes, I don’t think I have ever clipped my sons toenails in the four years he is alive. He won’t let me near them at all. I don’t know why but for some reason they don’t seem to grow. Perhaps someone from above is letting something slide for once.
November 12th, 2007 at 7:40 am
This so reminds me of when Amy was a baby and I used to sneak into her room to do the nail clipper job!
Crystal xx
November 12th, 2007 at 10:58 am
You are both graduating with honors…
Love,
Suzy
November 12th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Used to do the snip at night with only the hall light to light my doings—-one day I snipped at one fingernail while Charlie was still awake and he was intrigued by the clipper and then, slowly, I was allowed to do more—a sweet degree in N.A.I.L.S.!
November 13th, 2007 at 9:20 am
You are the first person to ever say that they could not always get the nails done while their children were sleeping, thank you!
March 16th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Haha ^^ nice, is there a section to follow the RSS feed