The truth of the matter
When it comes to family life few people are able to imagine the mental torture of my existence. It's not just the obvious things like Hermit crab maintenance but other matters such as a well balanced nutritional diet for my off-spring. Like all parents I am keen that mine should have a good start in life, as encompassed by balanced nutrition. The rules of the food pyramid are carved on the other side of my endless grocery shopping list. I have the advantage of speed reading labels, so that I am instantly able to recognize junk food. In case you have trouble in this area, if you pick up a packet of food and the ingredients list is longer that 10, chuck it back on the shelf and save the strain on your bifocals.
I am happy to accommodate reasonable food preferences, fads and fancies within the usual budgetary restraints, but I have the added burden of different calculations, not mere financial ones. This burden becomes all the more obvious to me after my spouse returns home after a quick emergency yummies trip to Trader Joes. Clearly the man is clueless, witless and in need of a sugar fix.
“Look at these!” he beams as he shakes the 'bake to crisp up' rolls that were going cheap at the end of the day.
“He doesn't eat that kind of bread and he certainly won't eat it if it's hot!” My mind calculates the trajectory of just how far crispy crumbs could ping over a ten foot area of dining room?
“What about this!”
“Hmm, it should probably be chilled.” Half an hour in the fridge will engender the Blackberry Crush undrinkable by one and may just save us from the staining of hands, clothes and anything else within transit duty. Gross motor skills aside they could do without the empty calories and sugar rush.
“I thought this might tickle your fancy?” I smile appreciatively at the Naan bread. “Soft!” he coos as he pats my cheek that hides my malfunctioning fake teeth, although now I'll have to make a curry to go with it, that only two people, adult people, will eat. He has bought enough exotic frozen food to feed a class of hungry foreign Kindergardeners, even though the freezer is already over flowing.
“And finally,” he announces with a flourish, “my all time favourite, Panettone!” I disguise my grimace. “It's o.k. I know they've had dinner, this can be a dessert!” I pull a face. “It's o.k., it's really only sweet bread, very few crumbs and enough dried fruit it in to make it a nutritional feast.” He beams.
Those genes, the Italian ones, will out!
I know he’s almost right. I give up.
November 9th, 2007 at 2:21 am
I always spen more money than normal if I go grocery shopping with Nat. It is even worse if he goes alone.
*shakes head*
November 9th, 2007 at 3:27 am
I usually find extras in the trolley if Amy comes with me.
Crystal xx
November 9th, 2007 at 6:04 am
Mine keeps coming home with popscicles (Andy doesn’t do cold), frozen waffles (Joey doesn’t do hot; Andy doesn’t do bread), and ice cream (Andy doesn’t do cold; ice cream adds a pound to my hips just looking at it.) But then, if I let the boys rule the roost, we’d be dining on mac and cheese and hot dogs every night. Only Andy doesn’t do Mac and Cheese.
November 9th, 2007 at 6:18 am
Well almost right is better than just plain wrong. It doesn’t count as a snack or desert to Hubby unless it is chocolate or as a picture of Little Debbie on the front.
November 9th, 2007 at 6:32 am
I just don’t get the attraction of Panettone. My husband and his entire (Italian) family relish the stuff, but those fruit bits? Ugh.
November 9th, 2007 at 6:56 am
Your boys won’t eat Panettone will they? I guarantee you mine wouldn’t. I’m going to try and wow my family with meat pie tonight (Tourtiere from the french half of my heritage) and I don’t think it’s going to go over well. I know my meal didn’t meet standard when Patrick sits there munching his green beans and making faces at the main course. *sigh*
November 9th, 2007 at 8:41 am
Panettone? I’m Italian and I won’t eat it!!! Big time ICK!!!!
Maybe your hubby can bring home some fruitcake-UGH!!
Buying the wrong foods for your kids could become some sort of entertainment for them- trajectory objects and all that…
I also know what you mean about reading any kind of food labels- I have tri-focals- yes I do and- did you ever try and read the inside credits on a cd label?????
Ah, so much for all these years of working on and in computers.
Great post as always Maddy.
Love
Suzy
November 9th, 2007 at 9:28 am
Sounds to me like spouse went to the grocery store hungry. Never a good move…..
November 9th, 2007 at 9:50 am
I havent treid that one on C, so thanks for the idea!!
November 9th, 2007 at 11:15 am
My husband did some grocery shopping durring the worst of my morning sickness. Declaring, HE would be the cook that week. We ate 5 different type of sausage, for the next five days.
November 9th, 2007 at 11:39 am
aww he tries so hard!!
November 9th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
My son loves to go grocery shopping with me, however, he won’t eat any of it.
Mac-n-cheese, mac-n-cheese, mac-n-cheese…
November 9th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Adrian just wants anything with Spiderman on it, it could be pork n’ beans, if it had spiderman he would want it. Oh well, it’s ok to give in sometimes
November 9th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Well, the good news is that the Pannetone makes a nifty doorstop —in OR out of the box! LOL
November 9th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
Hehehe Very familiar here as well. lol. I very rarely take the spouse to the supermarket because He remembers all the junk food items, that I somehow always “forget” to buy..oops.
Oh I tagged you for a meme, if you have the time, cheers kim.
November 10th, 2007 at 2:01 am
Don’t you just love them!! My husband tries so hard, but sometimes, I really wonder if he lives in the same house as I do?!?