Unravelling the Devil’s work
I am neither a soothsayer nor a sales person, but I would hazard a guess about the trajectory of many a child. They commence dabbling with dinosaurs, trundle into Thomas and his rabble, plunge into Pokemon and then yield to Yugio. After that, I seek input.
Each of these phases results in considerable financial investment by the parent, no matter how reluctant. To be fair I was quite happy with the first two, but seriously troubled by the third. To me, Pokemon were the lowest of the low, nasty, cheap little figurines. Although I knew nothing about them at all, I disliked the cartoons which to my untutored eye had an air of violence and brashness.
With all their obsessions to date, eventually, I have reluctantly capitulated. If you can no longer tempt a child to put a foot through their trouser legs with a smiley Thomas face, you have few options but to put a Pokemon scowl there instead, if you ever how to achieved ‘dressed’ status.
After two years in the Pokemon phase of development, they have infiltrated every nook and cranny of our daily existence. Their purposes as so many and varied, that life would come to a half without their motivational force. Now that I have watched the cartoons, I would acknowledge that they are largely innocuous, no worse and no better than others of their ilk. The predominant theme is ‘good triumphs over bad,’ which overall could be a darned sight worse. But I digress.
Firstly, I should point out that no-one is to blame for dropping little triggers into my children’s life. I’m all for free speech, but sometimes a casual comment can worm it’s way in to someone’s psyche with unforeseen consequences.
I tuck them all in at night. Whilst I chat to his brother, I can hear the occupant in the next bed ‘self talking’: ‘weavil, deevil, evil, meevil,’ interspersed with giggles and mouth breathing gusts. I come to him, last one, the little one, his turn. Nearly seven already but with a speech delay. The ‘delay’ is catching up, the gap narrows. He may sound like a four year old with a mouth full of marbles but that should not deceive us.
“What it is?”
“What is what dear?”
“Dah ‘evil’?”
“Evil? Well it’s the worst of the worst, the baddest of the bad.” He gasps wide eyed and claps his hands over his mouth, a sealant. I wait for further and better particulars.
“But dey are not dah badest of dah bad, day are da good guys!”
“Who are the good guys?”
“Da Pokemons!”
“Er yes, I think you’re right. They are the good guys,” I agree, wondering what the real issue is here?
“But, but, but…….she is telling dah lie?”
“Who is lying?”
“Da teacher!”
“Which teacher?”
“Da teacher who is being at my school.”
“Which teacher?”
“Da one who is saying dat the Pokemons dey are evil.”
Whilst I am tempted to ask again, I doubt if I will gain any further relevant nuggets of information. For them, like many children, most situations are black and white, the grey areas are few and far between. Now we have reached an impasse. Teachers are a given ‘good,’ therefore they do not lie. It’s an area of cognitive dissonance, both facts cannot be true at the same time. He starts to bleat as his brain whirs to try and resolve the dilemma.
“You know how you like Goldfish?”
“Um…er…….yes.” He pauses whilst my brain whirs too.
“You think they’re the greatest, right?”
“Er…..yes.” After each utterance he clamps his hands back over his mouth to stop additional words escaping in or out.
“You know that I don’t like Goldfish right?”
“You don’t like em?” He sounds genuinely.
“Have you ever seen me eat them?”
“Er no..”
“Why do you think that is?”
“Er…..coz I am a bad sharer?” Brilliant!
“Good answer, but no, it’s because I don’t like them, they’re yucky for me.” His eyes are on stalks of disbelief.
“But everybody……!”
“Not everybody. You remember people like different things?”
“Hmmmm……”
“And dislike different things.”
“Er…..and fink different things?”
“Spot on! That’s right. It’s o.k. for people to think different things.”
“She are not lie?”
“It’s not a lie if that’s what she thinks is it?”
“Er….no…..da o.k., ……I fink.”
Horray! Now that’s an outcome that I would never have predicted a few years ago, but I did mention that I’m a bit remiss in the fortune telling department. That’s all we really want, just a little tolerance. It can go such a long way.
November 5th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
They both seem to be moving forward in leaps and bounds. Such great insight he had with just a small amount of prompts. Awesome.
November 5th, 2007 at 11:52 pm
Mirror neurons at work? Or just education by Pokemon…
November 6th, 2007 at 12:48 am
Wow his language is getting really good.
November 6th, 2007 at 4:46 am
its taken my son until 12 to even slightly allow other points of view!
November 6th, 2007 at 5:18 am
I have goosebumps! You handled that masterfully. I have to say I’m impressed.
November 6th, 2007 at 5:36 am
Geez. His thought process is really amazing. He is actually figuring things out and understanding them.
Wait until he finds out that all teachers really aren’t “good”.
I’m waiting for that post….
Love you
Suzy
November 6th, 2007 at 6:00 am
Sounds like you have a little ‘theory of mind’ happening there!
Yesterday I heard rumblings of what is to come when my son declared, “I like power rangers”. I didn’t even know that he knew what they were. Go go power rangers.
November 6th, 2007 at 6:34 am
Smashing. Absolutely smashing.
We’ve been stuck on Postman Pat for the last year. Pokemons? No thanks. I’d agree with teacher – Pokemons dey are evil.
November 6th, 2007 at 7:25 am
My guy is still in the dinosaur, Thomas, and Cars stage. But if what ever it is motivates, I am all for it!
November 6th, 2007 at 8:00 am
I love how you share your conversations. Wonderful. I have to say, I think the little stuffed animals are very cute. Especially the pink one with the swirly eyes.
November 6th, 2007 at 8:16 am
this is a really cool conversation, as everyone above has said – but am i the only one totally ticked off that the teacher told him that his favorite thing is evil? she should not be imposing her moral judgments on her students – esp. not yours. will you talk to her about this?
i’m not a fan of pokemon either – esp. the merchandise – but i’ve seen the show and it’s not evil.
November 6th, 2007 at 8:39 am
We are SO all about the Pokeman and the goldfish in this house. And I don’t like ‘em either. They ARE evil…..: )
November 6th, 2007 at 9:53 am
All credit to your lad, but you did handle that brilliantly. Like Kirsten, I would be ever so slightly concerned about the context in which the teacher said they were evil…
November 6th, 2007 at 10:26 am
wow! Don’t you love these moments?
No pokeman here, but starwars comes and goes with the standards of transportation and construction. I’ll rememember tonight when I watch the “John Deer Part 3 for kids” (which is what Bubba calls it) for the 100th time after he does his homework that at least I am not watching Pokemon…that stuff gives me a headache!
But what I’ve also found worst of all is when I have no reinforcer… Lord help me. Thank goodness for the library and all of the boring train/tractor/construction movies that someone took the time to film.
November 6th, 2007 at 10:35 am
Star wars here too. Does that mean I’ll be able to ward off Pokemon with my light saber? God I hope so.
November 6th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
You were wonderful–I agree with everyone else. I also question why his teacher (who certainly knows your son well enough to know better) would make such a broad statement.
The bad news, I’m afraid, is that at least in this house, Thomas the Tank Engine is followed by Pokemon is followed by Yugio is followed by grumpy fourteen year old boy with hormones galore coursing through his veins at every moment of the day.
Makes Thomas and Pokemon look pretty good.
November 6th, 2007 at 8:04 pm
I feel a little out of my depth, commenting on your blog, but I wanted to say that you’re so patient and do such a good job of explain. I have no idea what I would have said in your place.
November 6th, 2007 at 8:55 pm
Totally brilliant!
Oooo people that have the slip of tongue irk me … but sadly we cannot keep the kids in a bubble. For instance, Becca has no clue that milk can in theory come in other flavours such as chocolate and strawberry. I figure we will get there so let’s save it … well every which way we turn someone wants to expand her limited knowledge of milk…and do not get me started on what meat is …. she CANNOT find out that it comes from animals!
November 7th, 2007 at 11:34 am
Another incredible moment you’ve shared with us. Great cognitive leaps, indeed. And I agree with Kristen that you should at least ask the teacher about the comment and the context in which it may have been made.
November 8th, 2007 at 7:38 am
Good for him! If he can get a good handle on this idea that other people can think differently from him and still be good people, he’ll be ahead of a lot of the grown-ups in this world.
November 9th, 2007 at 11:52 am
thats huge! I mean really..to understand and accept that two people think different things about a concept…thats awesome!
November 15th, 2007 at 5:33 am
I love it. Brilliant. Agree to disagree. It’s ok for people to think different things. Hooray, indeed.
I had the same unfounded, possibly unfair reaction to Pokemon (and Power Rangers) when Sam was the age they were the rage. Thankfully, we managed to steer clear of them but now he is absorbed reading Manga (along with my loving husband).
At least it is reading, which was a challenge but Naruto, Dragonball, Dragonball and Hunter x Hunter don’t seem to be far from Pokemon and I hear they even have a channel on the Cartoon Network. Maybe Manga is something yours will also enjoy down the road?
November 15th, 2007 at 5:39 am
Woops, DragonballZ is when the guy from Dragonball grows up. Now the child is giggling in his sleep. It’s 4:38. I may try to sleep some more. Thanks for the company.