What is wrong with you!
Parents throughout the world are careful to advise their children of the dangers of our modern existence. Stranger Danger refers to an earlier era, but the message remains the same. Discernment and discrimination are high functioning skills for small people to acquire, which is not helped by the confusing message that parents attempt to convey but all too frequently bungle. It's someone you don't know but also someone that you might. The stranger is a scary person but may be someone that you know. If your child already has some additional difficulties, a parents attempts at communication may flounder all the sooner.
The message from school, following a stranger awareness lesson is probably delivered in a far more efficient manner than we have managed at home, but this was a couple of years ago now, when their powers of speech were more limited. He must have been about six years old when I realized that he had two teeth where he should have had only one. I remember feeling slightly light headed at the sight of the new adult tooth standing boldly behind the wibbly wobbly baby tooth, thoroughly disconcerting. Even though he was my third child I had never come across the double teeth phenomenon, which is apparently all to common and normal.
This was the first tooth that he was about to lose, a cause of a great deal of angst for him. My attempts at explaining what was about to take place only made the situation worse. He advised me in far fewer words, that he wished to hold on to all of his current bodily parts and was unwilling to donate any of them, not matter how worthy the cause.
Like many anxious moments in childhood, the lead up to the event, was far more traumatic that the result. The tooth fell, accompanied by a microdot of blood and all was well. His countenance was a study of surprise but otherwise the drama was over.
The drama was over until nightfall when tucking in time arrived. I admit it was sheer folly on my part, but sometimes parents just follow a familiar groove without the benefit of any brain waves. I would say on his behalf that I fully indorse his view that it is unhygienic to put a tooth of any size under one's pillow, with hindsight.
In those days, an exchange of information could take a very long time. In those days, if the topic was also stressful, the exchange was accompanied with frequent meltdowns which meant that a simple exchange could take several hours.
“It is a boy or a girl?”
“Um?”
“Dah toof fairy?”
“Oh yes, she's a girl.”
“She is fly?”
“Yes, she flies.”
“She is read?”
“She changes colour. Whatever colour you like best.”
“No! Read!”
“Oh right. Yes, she can read and often enjoys a mystery novel in her spare time.”
Thus it was, that after a considerable period of time, my son accompanied me around the house, late in the night. We plastered A4 sized pieces of paper on many of the relevant doors. Even then, his logic was impeccable. To me, this isn’t autism this is merely the application of common sense. We covered all probable entry points, including the fireplace, to leave the message 'no fairies allowed.'
November 15th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
To this day, despite having known the “truth” for nearly a decade, my brother leaves a note out on Christmas Eve that reads: “I don’t like loud noises. Please don’t ‘ho ho ho.” Just to be safe.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:51 pm
I don’t blame him. The whole idea of the Tooth Fairy is a bit creepy. What does she do with all of those used teeth?!? Had it not been for the cash, I may have bypassed it myself as a child.
November 16th, 2007 at 12:36 am
But will the chimney have to be stopped for Santa?
November 16th, 2007 at 12:42 am
Ah yes, strangely enough, the Easter Bunny is the cause for concern in our house. Maybe it’s the idea of a large animal with claws hopping into the house?!?
I’m wondering as Kristina is, will Santa make it through?
November 16th, 2007 at 12:50 am
And i hope the tooth fairy made it worth while for him!
November 16th, 2007 at 1:41 am
I love this… especially that he asked if she could READ before he decided on the notes! Because what use would they be if she couldn’t read?! Awesome.
November 16th, 2007 at 4:53 am
What good logical thinking!
November 16th, 2007 at 5:40 am
Wow. Impressive thought process. Not only will loosing teeth be torture around here, I’m seriously not going there with the whole tooth fairy thing. Maybe I’ll just go for an out and out exchange for a toy?? “Here Patrick, give mummy your tooth and I’ll give you a toy?” Since money means absolutely nothing to him. Ok, I’ve still got some kinks to work out…but plenty of time since those chompers still seem to be glued in there with cement.
November 16th, 2007 at 5:52 am
As we are now in the world of kindergarten, we expect to soon to be in the world of the Tooth Fairy. Fortunately, there are episodes of Franklin and Pinky Dinky Doo to help us explain this upcoming phenomenon.
And a Pinky Dinky Doo to explain the word “phenomenon.”
November 16th, 2007 at 6:39 am
first tooth lost was a traumatic event for our seven year old son. We skipped the tooth fairy altogether…
12 year old to 7 year old: “mom collects teeth, and she’ll pay you for them!!”
November 16th, 2007 at 7:15 am
See there, he’s saving you a coin or two! We have no real trouble losing teeth here, but the concept of not wiggling and trying to remove the erupting permanant teeth has been somewhat problematic.
November 16th, 2007 at 7:24 am
My friend’s child wanted to call the police on Santa for “breaking and entering”. Wonderful writing!
Thanks for visiting!
November 16th, 2007 at 7:28 am
Yes, we sure give our kids mixed messages. Stay away from strangers but go ahead and sit on that store Santa’s lap or go ahead and give a big hug to that furry character at the amusement park or don’t freak out, but giant rabbits, fairies and fat men will be invading our home… but they’ll be giving you stuff, so it’s okay.
November 16th, 2007 at 8:31 am
This is a scream, “Can she read?” I love it. Very, very smart boy. Come to think of it, it really is a scary image… I guess I was only interested in the money when I was a kid…was I ever a kid, it’s been soooo longgg aaggo.
November 16th, 2007 at 8:36 am
How fun. No fairies allowed. Once, when my son’s cousin was visiting us, she lost a tooth. We put the tooth under her pillow and in the morning, the tooth fairy had left some money for her.
Our tooth fairy leaves a dollar for per year, however old you are at the time you lost your tooth. We didn’t know that in Iowa, her tooth fairy leaves money but also let her keep the tooth. The next night, we left a note for the Chicago tooth fairy asking if she might be able to keep the tooth. Thankfully, the tooth was returned.
Your story reminded me of some books and stories we (both mother and child) love (and first discovered and loved when Sam was 6 but reread again at 8 or 9). Do you know the Spiderwick Chronicles? http://www.spiderwick.com/
These stories deal with real kids who find magical creatures living in and around their great aunt’s house.
I don’t know if this would be a concept your kids would enjoy but if they do, it is so much fun (and a bit scary). We had a new visual/theory about the tooth fairy after reading them.
Maybe check out Arthur Spiderwick’s (gorgeous and clever) Fieldguide to the Fantastical World around you and see if you think the existence of such creatures would bring pleasure or discomfort to your home. If they are well-received, we found the five accompanying books easy to read and quite enthralling.
November 16th, 2007 at 10:46 am
Although my kids live 800 miles away from me. They will be with me for Christmas and somehow, I have managed to be there for each one of my son’s teeth falling out. The tooth fairy and Santa are awesome chances for us parents to be creative and make some incredible fun for our kid’s amazing minds. I can’t wait.
November 16th, 2007 at 11:24 am
This is too funny. The similarites are astounding! We too could have two hour “discussions” over one little thing. She gets so upset with us that we are not understanding what she is trying to say.
With the tooth fairy we also leave a note! She has a little box she saves the teeth in and we put it in the kitchen with a note telling the tooth fairy not to go in the bedroom and leave the money on the table….oh,and I have to keep my teeth with me! Don’t take! There are also a couple thousand reminders to us, “Did you leave the note there?” She still believes in all of that stuff making it more compliacted. I have yet to decide how to tackle that.
November 16th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
One bright little boy. Amy had the two tooth thing but the one at the front fell out a couple of weeks ago. I keep them all but as far as she is aware, the tooth fairy has flown in and taken them to her little tooth stash somewhere near the wendy house on the garden.
Crystal xx
November 16th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Love it! No fairies allowed signs. What a smarty!
November 16th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
oops..pressed “enter” too quickly…
And how does he fare now with lost teeth?
November 16th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Maya once told me the Tooth Fairy wasn’t really, I was aghast, not real – like Santa is real.
What do you mean?
Fairies are make believe, Santa is a big fat man.
The tooth fairy discussion ended and doubt became belief when she found a dollar under her pillow.
November 16th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
I like this fresh approach to an old tradition. Contradictions can be tricky. Thanks for commenting. This is my first visit and I will be back.
November 16th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
Great story! The tooth fairy just visited us again last week, and today we had a discussion about Santa and how he’s real. My boys think he is and I always tell them that Santa is the spirit of giving at Christmas time. We do Easter at our house, but not the Easter bunny. They never bought into that one.
November 16th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
We had a bag for the tooth and the tooth fairy. No, no tooth fairy was entering his room. So, I don’t think it’s autism; the tooth fairy is plain freaky. And we need no scary fairies making sleeping more difficult.
November 16th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
Hey! Thanks for the comment! And I’ll try to help with the linking, if you want to shoot me an email and tell me what you need help with… jessalogic@yahoo.com
I love this. My kids are convinced Peter Rabbit lives in the woods behind our house. Most of the time it doesn’t help me but leading up to Easter? VERY well-behaved.
November 16th, 2007 at 3:52 pm
thanks for stopping by my blog. We haven’t reached the wobbly tooth stage yet but the FB (first born son) has already worried about his teeth falling out.
November 16th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
Looks like you have been doing a lot of international visiting recently – thanks for calling by my blog too. But the best thing is that now I have discovered yours!
See you again soon.
November 16th, 2007 at 6:07 pm
Oh my! The logic…the logic just makes ones head swim I’m sure! Makes for fun blog reading however…this I must admit.
November 16th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Sometimes we make stories so elaborate that we forget the logic of it!
November 16th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Thank you for visiting my blog today, for it ended up being a very nice visit for me. =) After a slight emotional meltdown, I decided to send my beloved to the birthday party we were to attend tonight. I guess I just need some alone time, instead of time spent with a bunch of kiddos celebrating a 4 year old’s birthday. Then I checked email, found your comment, and have just been spending the most delightful half-hour or so reading through your blog. I have no idea how you found my blog, but I’m glad to have found yours. I only wish I’d known about it during the time I used to spend serving as a “special friend” for a little angel with autism. Reading some of these entries has given me many “aha!” moments. I’ll have to let her mom know about it.
November 16th, 2007 at 8:28 pm
Thank you for visiting my site! Here’s to hoping you are feeling better too!
This was an amazing post. What a little thinker you have!
November 18th, 2007 at 10:55 pm
Come to think of it … that is stranger danger … No fairies allowed! hehe