Heads or Tails?
Echolalia is a strange little beastie. It’s the ability to repeat, exactly what you hear without, apparently, even thinking about it. It’s almost reflexive. Some people do it all the time. Sometimes my boys are aware that they’re doing it, other times they’re not. Everyone around them, is very much aware that they’re doing it. It’s one sure fired way to have everyone’s attention, especially those people who are not familiar with this ability.
As often as not, it’s mistaken for cheekiness, or ‘having an attitude’ as we say out here.
I can see how this misunderstanding comes about.
I chat with my pal. I am a grown up person and so is my pal. My pal is American, which means that she has a distinctive accent. My children have some kind of mild Mid-Atlantic accent and significant speech delays. My pal knows about the speech delays. She knows the boys are autistic. Unusually, the boys are relatively quiet as they enjoy 30 minutes of electronics time, a bribe for peace and tranquility.
“Ya know I’m jus drownin in errands, so I cun only stay a while.”
“Drownin in errands. Drownin in errands. Drownin in errands.”
Pal glances across at the two boys whose eyes are glued to tiny little electronic screens. They both repeated the same part of her sentence, the bit that was most interesting or possibly most melodic. The both matched the timbre of her words exactly. Two sotto voce little echoes.
“Oh I know, but I’m so glad you came anyway.”
She drags her attention back to me.
“So I gotchya gift and I’m sure yur just gonna love it!”
“Gonna love it! Gonna love it! Gonna love it!”
She blinks wide eyed and looks back them again. Neither of them pay her any heed. They’ve knocked her off her stroke. This is hardly surprising. Few of us are that familiar with the sound of our own voices from the outside, or rather a listener’s perspective. Maybe you have trouble recording your own voice mail message, for just this reason. Our own voices never sound quite right when we hear them recorded.
“I’m sure it will be lovely as always.”
“Now dontcha go peeking before Christmas Day!”
“Dontcha go peeking! Dontcha go peeking! Dontcha go peeking!”
Her lips tighten, wary of uttering another syllable.
“It’s o.k. they don’t do it anything like as much as they used to.”
“Yeah? How cum they repeat mine but not yurs?”
“But not yurs! But not yurs! But not yurs!”
“Probably because they hear me all the time, too boring, whereas yours is so much more interesting.”
She pauses uncertain whether she’s brave enough to proceed. Her finger tip taps the tablecloth before she adds, “love ya guys!”
Silence follows. We exchange glances that mean ‘go figure?’ The boys move off to the bathroom in concert, still gripping their Gameboys. Pal stands to leave as we hear flushing noises and lots of general disagreement.
We step away towards the front door together, arms linked as I may not see her again for quite a while. Usually I prompt the boys through their goodbyes, but I leave it today.
The boys skate after us in their socks, unstable and skittish.
“You are goed now?”
My pal stands by the now open door, which obscures the visual cue on the other side. For the first time ever they are voluntarily here to say goodbye. I dither. Should I hide them behind me? Should I hide them behind the door? Should I thwart this first enthusiastic attempt? Should I slam the door in my pal’s face? I need to keep an emergency blanket by the door. She faces the boys still skating in their socks, only their socks, as they attempt appropriate social skills of the fond farewell.
“Er yes…um…Happy Christmas you guys!” she offers trying to focus on their happy faces.
“Happy Holidays!” they bellow back, because political correctness only gets you so far.
If you had trouble loading this blog or commenting, then please try my duplicate “loads like a dream” blog over “here.”
December 5th, 2007 at 11:46 pm
I wonder what they would pick up on if they heard words spoken with an Australian accent!
Happy Holidays !
December 6th, 2007 at 12:28 am
I was just thinking exactly what Mary said. You know, not that I have an accent or anything. Everyone else has an accent though.
December 6th, 2007 at 1:14 am
Here’s to the Australian accent – that would be one for them to master!!!
I love the visual cue on the door – thinking I might have to install one here!
xx
December 6th, 2007 at 2:11 am
That is one of the coolest pictures….your son’s little face peeking at the sign.
Thankfully, my kids prefer to hang around the house in underwear….but not with visitors. With visitors they are always clothed, phew.
We could use a sign to post as a reminder not to repeatedly assault your guest with discussions of airplanes.
December 6th, 2007 at 2:46 am
That sign is universally applicable. I love it.
December 6th, 2007 at 5:07 am
*thinks the boys might enjoy the free download from*
http://www.pixelwhimsy.com/pixelwhimsy/Instructions.html
*realizes it’s not a game, and requires no skill, but has an amazing amount of discovery to be made just by pressing buttons on the keyboard*
*thinks she’ll thank him later, but often assumes too much*
December 6th, 2007 at 5:26 am
Interesting stuff! I do try to still learn something new everyday- and I just did!
December 6th, 2007 at 5:40 am
I love this post! My kids do this. And I need to copy that sign you have on the door! My kids are always in their underwear and could care less if they go outside that way. Of course, their mama cares, but still…
December 6th, 2007 at 5:43 am
Sounds a little bit like my house!
December 6th, 2007 at 6:08 am
hehe, that really made me smile!
December 6th, 2007 at 6:17 am
BWAHAHA!
December 6th, 2007 at 6:20 am
My eldest use to echo (3 to 5yrs old) and speak in the same sentence. You’d be talking about the trees outside and “wham”… echo. Toss in poor diction and I could follow it… but my Mom and most other’s had no clue.
The little one echo’s or speaks but not together. Lately the echoing has been what you are saying. On Fri dh drove over the curb with the van and said “oops, went over the curb”. Backseat “Daddy went over the curb” in a sing song voice from the little one. Where did that come from????
Guess, if nothing else.. it keeps us entertained
S.
December 6th, 2007 at 6:39 am
Patrick exclusively echoed for a long time. Then when he added “real speech” it was wierd because he just spoke more in total, no decrease in the echo. Honestly not sure how much he does it now…it just is.
Luckily, he wears underwear most of the time. Underwear to bed, underwear to eat, to play, and to greet visitors.
December 6th, 2007 at 6:40 am
well, she knows they are atuistic, it doesn’t seem to keep her away. it seems she ought to be able to celebrate with you over the first spontaneous goodbye they offered…even if they were waving goodbye with extra appendages.
fabulous story!
December 6th, 2007 at 6:55 am
I hate the sound of my voice recorded! My guy doesn’t echo very much most of his motor mouthing is scripting and he has alot of material to choose from.
December 6th, 2007 at 7:10 am
I’ve got the same No Clothes – No Outside reminder on my door. It’s important now that it’s snowy up here and also avoids embarrassing mornings at work too
December 6th, 2007 at 7:23 am
Regarding accents…take the boys to Jamaica!
We too, have much echolalia here. After awhile, just as they learn to tune our words out, we’ve learned to tune out the echolalia. I see you’ve also got the “double whammy”, with the echolalia and perseveration.
I must add, beautiful lip closure in the first pic!
December 6th, 2007 at 8:12 am
Maybe next time Pal should try saying “supercalifragilisticexpedalidocious.”
Impressed with your door art. Available for download?
December 6th, 2007 at 8:58 am
I love your translation of “an American accent”. Are we really that bad??
As for the boys… I guess it’s all about baby steps…
December 6th, 2007 at 9:03 am
This fascinates me! Both my husband and Bubba move their lips while others talk. I can go up to my husband and sing Mary had a little lamb and his lips move to the words without him realizing. I on the otherhand echoback during conversation. Once I realized this it annoyed ME so I’ve been trying not to. Moosie repeats things all of the time as he develops his vocabulary. But the best is when the boys are playing with stuffed animals or army guys. They pull from their repetoire of back and forth exchanges. I knew yesterday was a trying day for me because the stuffed animals were saying and responding “You need to make better choices.” “You are a boring mom! Homework is boring!” “Go to the blue room for time out!” etc. complete with grumpy voices but luckily not complete with the earlier aggression.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:16 am
The no clothes no outside is absolutely the best picture ever. I need one that says no clothes no open curtains or blinds!!
December 6th, 2007 at 9:45 am
There I fixed my URL. Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I guess I just typed it in wrong here.
I’m one who can’t stand the sound of my recorded voice. I sound like a Disney mouse. Yuck.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:05 am
That is a great sign. I need one about peeing outside.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:14 am
Your posts leave me speechless with laughter…can’t even squeak out a smartass comment. Thank you for your hilarious perspective.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:30 am
My used to do this now and again. She picked it up from one of her friends, but she seemed to have forgotten about it.
I love the sign. My four-year old daughter will still streak, in the house, any chance she gets.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:47 am
How funny!! I love the picture and I have to agree with FXSmon about the no clothes, no open blinds rule. I think my teenage son thinks the neighbours can’t see in just because he never bothers to look out!!!! Bit like the ostrich and head in sand thingy.
December 6th, 2007 at 11:07 am
I hate hearing my voice!
It’s their house: why should they dress?!
If she’s a real pal, she’ll be back!
Oh, look exclamations everywhere!
December 6th, 2007 at 11:08 am
And that is such a wonderful grin.
December 6th, 2007 at 11:11 am
I need one of these signs for my husband…you are so good at capturing a moment. I feel sometimes that I am right there with you and your boys. Thanks for the chuckles.
December 6th, 2007 at 11:52 am
OMG, laughing too hard to think of a comment!
December 6th, 2007 at 11:55 am
I don’t know whether to be delighted or scared of how you would interpret my accent on blog. The mind doth boggle.
December 6th, 2007 at 11:58 am
oh, i did yer meme
December 6th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
I love your drawing on the door!
December 6th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
Hi, thank you for stopping by my blog,.. the Raggedy Ann photos. I am a bit early posting my weekly photo hunt. Thank you for the comment.
I was reading through your blog and you definitely have your hands full. I hope you join Photo Hunters and hope to see you around. Have a wonderful Christmas and Blessed New Year. Cindy
December 6th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
Hi Maddy,
I have been away from your blog for too long and had forgotten what a superb writer you are.
I’m off to read the pasta post now.
Thanks for something great to read.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
My son has done this before, and he’s not autistic. Just a boy.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
I think, like your pal, I would have been unnerved too! Or possibly too distracted to talk sensibly1 Our boys are still young enough to run round naked in front of our friends.
December 6th, 2007 at 10:28 pm
I have been blessed to escape two plights: kids who obsess over the sound of flatulence and kids who disrobe in the presence of company. Twice, Pamela stripped off her dripping wet bathing suit before I could grab a towel. Nobody seemed to notice, but me.
Did the sign at the door go up before or after Pal’s visit?
December 6th, 2007 at 10:41 pm
SNORT! (Californio for “how amusing!!)
It is probably good that we haven’t actually met in the flesh…I am such a sucker for echolalia (especially echoing it back, in a form of scat singing)… the offspring echo, I echo back in another register…you’d never get me out of the house…pretty soon I’d be cooking and admiring naked behinds.
I am writing an essay about my daugher’s early years. She had a strong preference, from about age 26 months to 30 months, for being unclothed (naked) which she rendered as “kanken”, as in, “no, mommy, kanken now!” (With hindsight, as “kanken” persisted will into her 4th year, that should have been a clue about dyslexia…–I’d say, “you mean, naked?” and she would say, “Yes, mommy, kanken”) but nevermind
As the kids say, “I’m down with kanken”.
Someday soon, dear Maddy, we’ll meet in the flesh, but not you and I kanken. But if the boys are kanken, well… I’ve seen all they have to display and then some.
December 7th, 2007 at 12:19 am
Wild. That was the next best thing to being there. I can think of a few Australian things of the top of my head that your boys would be onto like a shot. Fascinating.
December 7th, 2007 at 8:01 am
Maddy, Maddy, Maddy! Thank you so very much! I’ve had an epiphany reading your post. I so know how cute this is because my son is a major participant in echolalia and it is one of the most endearing and fun things…I love it! I thank GOD for the internet and for people who share and the connection of it all. I’ve got tears in my eyes because I’m just so thankful. thank you for sharing! The epiphany part has to do with an adult neighbor and some actions he exhibits. It helps to understand.
December 7th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Hi Maddy
It’s a tough assignment for us to teach this special child. A lot of effort, patience and time involved.
Take care.
December 7th, 2007 at 9:36 pm
Our piano teacher is from Poland. When Edison was first learning the kinds of notes (quarter, half, etc.), I was reviewing with him during our practice session. I pointed to a quarter note and asked him what kind of note it is. He responded, “Kwhathuh note.” After having him repeat that several times, I finally realized he was saying, “quarter” with a perfect Polish accent.
His echolalia tends to quotes with accents–his Tow-mater (from the movie Cars) is spot on. His very first echolalia–before we knew his “condition”– was “That’s the signal! That’s the signal!” It took us months before we realized that it is a fairly obscure line from A Bug’s Life. Long live Pixar!
December 8th, 2007 at 11:25 am
“No clothes, no outside.”
Words to live by, Maddy.
December 8th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Too funny! My son has been saying mostly, “Hello, little piggies!” lately, which I finally realized is from a book we read several days ago. He hasn’t been doing a lot of echolalia, and he tends to stick with certain phrases, like the one above! I love that sign! Too, too funny, imagining your “naked but for socks” boys rushing out to say goodbye.
December 8th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Echolalia is awesome! Ok, a lot of people don’t feel that way… but it was the very first hint of spoken language that came from my son. He was totally non verbal just a few months ago and now he repeats what we say! I live in hope that it will eventually lead to spontaneous speech!! I thank God for echolalia every single day!
And, I love the use of your no clothes, no outdoor signs. Creative. And, I bet it’s a great conversation piece!
December 8th, 2007 at 11:25 pm
That could be a little unnerving. Izzak spouts of facts that he’s overheard just out of the blue all the time. Usually has nothing to do with what we are talking about and totally throws people off!
August 8th, 2008 at 8:34 am
Never in the field of human endeavour was so much owed by so many to so few.SirWinstonChurchillSir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965
August 11th, 2008 at 10:46 am
Most of what you learn in the first four years of elementary school will be valid all your life. Most of what you learn in four years of college won’t be. This is another reason some people contend grade school teachers should be paid more than university professors.L.M.BoydL. M. Boyd