Tactile defensiveness every day

It's a battle. He will eat the banana but I can rarely persuade him to peel back the skin himself. Even if we leap that hurdle, then I need to cut the banana into slices so that he can eat it with a fork. This is not a boy who will permit his fingers to be contaminated by direct digital contact. He needs a tool to protect his fingers from the texture of the banana.

It has been just like this for a very long time. Failure to co-operate on my part means that either he won’t eat bananas at all, one of his thirteen precious foods, or he’ll attempt to eat it whole with catastrophic results.

I dither and debate, but ultimately decide to go on strike and withdraw my services at least temporarily, until I've finished the washing up. Either he can wait a few minutes or do it himself. I know that patience is not one of his strengths but I doubt if he is sufficiently hungry to be motivated to tackle the task solo.

I watch him out of the corner of my eye. He yelps, just like a puppy when you step on their tail. His sister takes pity on him and snaps off the stalk for the first strip of peel. She looks me. My eyes widen, “come on! You can do it now. I've started it fur yah!” He tries, with the precision of a surgeon, thumb nail tip to index finger nail. There is no possibility that the skin on his finger tips will touch it. Each movement is accompanied by another yip. Some minutes later, two thirds of the skin has been removed. The banana is revealed,lying on it's last layer of skin.

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48 Comments

  1. Jennifer:

    Good for him! :-)

    Now, if he could just teach me how to get hand lotion on without actually touching the hand lotion…. ;-)

  2. Veronica:

    Oh YAY! Good on him!

  3. Bendygirl:

    I’m very impressed! I have every sympathy with him…bananas are nasty slimy things, as are mushrooms, most vegetables, fruits, any and all kinds of fish. Er, maybe just send him here to eat with me ;) BG x

  4. A Bishops Wife:

    WOW! Good for him. Junior still wont do that. He just loves bannans. He makes me peal them and hold them. Noddy lkes for them to be sliced and use a fork. Gee, who’d a thunk it?

    Our kids are funny and really wonderful little people.

  5. kim:

    xxx kim..

  6. Mr. Bloggerific Himself:

    *thinks she oughta be sneaky and*

    http://tinyurl.com/2olrr8

  7. buffalodickdy:

    You gotta win the battles before you win the war…. We actually have a banana “tree”. It’s a wooden stand shaped like a hangmans gallows, with a hook that you can hang a bunch of bananas from. If I wouldn’t have seen bananas hanging from it, I wouldn’t have known what it was…..

  8. vi:

    Well that’s a GREAT achievement! 7yo won’t even contemplate eating any type of fruit unless it’s in icecream or juice form!

  9. lime:

    i have to say i can understand his reluctance. bananas do have a very weird texture (of course I am deathly allergic to the things too). of course i can understand it is maddening to you to though. how cool that his sis walked him through it. yay!

  10. dgibbs:

    Good on Ella! I do agree that bananas are aweful slimy things, I like them, just not a pleasure to touch.

  11. Leanne:

    Yay big sis! I dunno, I can see how a banana could be considered, well, icky. Mine eats them like a monkey. Still havn’t figured out what’s so gross about cooked carrots though…

  12. farmwifetwo:

    Cooked carrots are orange. My little one will inform you that orange is icky :)

    Banana’s are one of the few fruits/veggies my eldest will eat. And only if he can hold onto the peel or use a fork.

    I decided not to argue about it… instead argue about trying new fruits/veggies.

    How can a child with a sweet tooth not like fruit????

    S.

  13. Terry:

    It kinda looked like he was using a Bruce Lee move the banana. That’s great that he making that leap over the peeling the banana hurdle.

    Next time you can do a magic trick for him. If you hold the ends of the banana (finger tips work best) and squeeze, the banana will split into 3rds naturally… it’s magic!

  14. Tena Russ:

    Over-ripe bananas are gross and slimy. Does he prefer them a little on the hard side?

  15. Inthefastlane:

    That must have been incredibly painful for him. But, good for him for persevering!

  16. furiousball:

    did he do the loud cat scream like Bruce too? If not, I volunteer to teach him

  17. Julie Pippert:

    Hey good for him.

    And also, thanks for the great insight into how this works for some kids.

    Julie
    Using My Words

  18. mommy~dearest:

    One step at a time! Jaysen won’t go near a banana, nor any other fruit/veggie. I would let him eat one with salad tongs if he would actually eat one.

  19. Melissa:

    HURRAH!!!!!! That is AWESOME! YEAH! I love that you share the good with the bad… the good always gives me hope!

  20. Judith:

    My little guy is a banana/fana too. It hasn’t even occurred to me to ask him to peel the darn thing. Hmmm … looks fairly painless if you’re telling us the whole story. Just a little yipping? I can deal with that …

    I’ll enlist my daughter’s help and get back to you. :) Ooops. Have to buy bananas first.

  21. Marla:

    That is great he will eat the bananna. We have major issues like that here too. Food is a real struggle.

  22. ange:

    yeah! Moosie loves ripe bananas, mostly to squeeze, he hates touching the peel though. I only eat them if they are just quite not ripe. Bubba only eats them if they are in banana bread (aka mush)… so between us all, we can demolish us a bunch of nanners.

  23. Bonbon momma:

    I can’t even get my kid to go near a banana. Today he ate a bagel and cream cheese with a fork.

  24. Heather:

    Way to go, all of you.

  25. Mel Avila Alarilla:

    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and your loved ones. May you all enjoy the best of the holiday season. Have a wonderful and peaceful day.
    God bless.

  26. delilah:

    Good for him! Perhaps this is the first tiny step toward expanding his eating repetoire?

  27. drama mama:

    YAY!

    I, myself, hate the texture and feel of bananas.

    Except I like them mashed into muffins.

    Good on your boy. Good times.

  28. Canvas Grey:

    Good for him and bravo to sweet sis!

  29. Stimey:

    Good for him! And I’m happy to hear that, like Jennifer up there at the top, I’m not the only person waiting for a touchless hand lotion.

  30. Jen P:

    Way to go!
    We have no problem with bananas in our house. They will eats 3 each in one sitting if I let them.

  31. Kathi Johansen:

    You know, I think back to my childhood, oh so long ago…and I do remember having all sorts of phobias about food and what could touch and what couldn’t. Then again, you have no idea what it really feels like to him. Like when I brush my son’s hair, it could feel like nails on his little scalp. No speech, so we don’t know. Sigh.

  32. Lori at Spinning Yellow:

    I never like to touch bananas either! One of those things that I see now about myself that shows my sensory issues (that my son inherited). Good for him for pushing through it and what a good sister for helping!

  33. Stacey:

    Maddy I learn so much about autism from your blog, I hope you continue to teach us–and though I don’t deal with this, I am learning through you how patience and grace are pieces of love.

    And about MiracleWord.net, yes, you will explode. Hope you didn’t click that button..Maddy..MADDY? MADDDDDYYYeyeyeyeyey!!!!!!!…….

  34. Yolanda Gordon:

    It is so hard to get others to understand trying to get your child to something that should be so common. I understand your battle. My son is getting worse with his food touching and I think that we are going to end up on a food schedule. He is just getting to be too much in the food department. I noticed last night when I fixed bbq chicken and french fries that the fries that touch the bbq sauce, he did not touch, but the others he would get and gobble down with a smidge of ketchup. Then there is still the great bean debate where he will only eat green beans if they are cooked fresh and have to be crisp and the green lima beans if they come from a can. They can’t be fresh. I know totally what you are going through.

  35. Aliki:

    Little steps, right?

    Hooray for banana peeling!

  36. Dan:

    What a sweet kid. Hugs to him.

    It’s amazing that he won’t TOUCH something that he is more than willing to put IN HIS MOUTH, chew and then swallow. Of course telling him this probably isn’t the way to get him to touch the banana because he may just stop eating them as well.

  37. beachmama:

    My boys are waaaay too lazy to even attempt to open a banana. They would rather sit and holler like monkeys at the thing and/or whine about having me do it. My youngest has big time sensory issues with food, but he is reversed. He will touch it plenty, but he WILL NOT put it in his mouth!

  38. Burfica:

    Wow!!! WTG little one!!!!

    My son won’t even eat a banana let alone touch one. I’ve got him to eat pears and some tangerines here lately. I even got him to peal the tangerine himself. hehehehe

  39. Rachel:

    Well done to him!

  40. Lisa:

    WOOT! :o )

    (Is this a cliff hanger? Did he eat it?)

  41. Joanne:

    Woohoo! So did you cut it up for him? It is so encouraging to know there are other little boys out there who remind me so much of my grandson. But he doesn’t eat bananas.

  42. Emily:

    Good for him. We’ve adopted the same tactics…sometimes with success, sometimes not. We’ve got three tactile-defensive fellas, all with their own personal defensivenesses. Is that a word? ;) Our baby (16 mos) will actually throw a tantrum if we put a food on his tray that even *looks* like something he doesn’t want to touch. It’s like we’re poking him with a hot poker or something, the way he reacts.

  43. BetteJo:

    The willingness to at least try is a huge accomplishment!

  44. Niksmom:

    That’s a major accomplishment! Bananas make me gag; Nik isn’t wild about them either —except when he bites THROUGH the skin…in the grocery store. Yuck!

  45. Mary (MPJ):

    Yay!

    Bananas used to be one of my son’s foods. (Although he abandoned them way back in the days before I realized that not eating a food for a week or so meant it was never coming back.) He used to eat them with a spoon instead of a fork.

  46. Bipolarlawyercook:

    Every little step counts. Hooray!

  47. chelle:

    Good for him to try …. poor guy … my husband has odd phobias about touching certain things that all but disappeared once we had children. Children are gooey.

  48. Say It Forward - Week 7:

    [...] Her posts reveal new insight into the inner workings of the autistic child as seen here and here.  If you are interested in learning more about autism from someone who is living it everyday, [...]

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