Honesty is the best put off
She plagues me with questions first thing in the morning as I wipe noses and squirt inhalers with the boys.
“But when will you phone?”
“Phone, phone, phone.”
“Oh I know! You'll phone after nine? Will you phone at nine? Mommm!”
“Er no. Her mum said she'd phone us at mid-day.”
“Oh no that's gonna take forever.”
“Indeed, but we'll find something to do in the meantime.”
“Mean……time….mean….time……mean…….time.” I make a quick dash to the garage for a couple of boxes of tissues to assuage the sea of snot. My pre-teen in is mid pout, as she has experienced a sharp learning curve this week. Adult conversations have been the order of the day, but we need to tread carefully. If you ban a friendship you guarantee eternal adoration. “She probably won't phone until even later………like yesterday…….” I see the cogs turning. She's getting there all by herself. “You know dear, it's probably not fair for her to come for a sleepover tonight anyway.”
“Why? That is sooo not fair!”
“Look at them! They're coughing and sniffing…….”
“That's o.k. we'll be in my room. She won't catch it.”
“Um……tell you what…….I will have to tell her mum that the boys are ill and then she can decide.”
“O.k.”
I am disconcerted that she agrees immediately, no hesitation, ever the optimist.
We spend the day quietly but in a very noisy manner until the telephone rings in the mid afternoon.
“Hi Natalie! Just a quick call as she’s still asleep, up all night on the innernet with her sister.”
“Oh hello,” I glance at the clock, “I just thought I'd better let you know that the boys are ill with colds, maybe flu.”
“Oh sorry. Poor little guys. I'll bring her round when she wakes up.”
“Well I just thought that you should know that they're ill in case she catches it.”
“She'll be o.k.”
“Oh.”
“She's got a great immune system.”
“Hmm that's good to know. Pity the boys haven't fared so well. No school for them on Monday!”
“They're <span style=”font-style:italic;”>that<span style=”font-weight:bold;”></span></span> sick?”
“Ooo yes. I wouldn't be surprised if they're off school for a few days.” I hear silence on the other end of the line. I dither whether to fill the air with mindless chatter or keep quiet whilst calculations are made. I am ready for the 'she can come here' option. I have spent an inordinate amount of time working out how to extract myself and my family from this escalating debacle. I need to stick to my guns but I have a strong need to ensure that I do not slight an innocent child.
“You know Natalie howabout we do it next weekend?”
“Thank you for that, but I'm afraid we have the boys' sleepovers then.”
“Great! One more would make it a party.”
“It probably would, but I'm a bit tired these days so we're trying to limit the number of play dates everyone has. I hope you can understand.”
“Sure. I'll leave it a week then.”
“Thank you.” She's already clicked off the line. I am left with the notion that I have only bought myself some time. A second wave is on the way, building momentum, ready to bowl me over.
Better dust off my surf board.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:19 am
March is “Family Only” month. Yep, all month long.
*looks around to see if anyone will go along*
February 28th, 2008 at 5:33 am
When I come over next weeknd for the sleep over please have a case of beer, frozen pizza, and my tv ready for me. What time will you be serving dinner? Nothing before 6, dear.
February 28th, 2008 at 5:49 am
“Great! One more would make it a party.â€
“It probably would, but I’m a bit tired these days so we’re trying to limit the number of play dates everyone has. I hope you can understand.â€
Good for you!
February 28th, 2008 at 6:31 am
That was rude that she didn’t invite her over to their place instead. Good for you though to stand your ground.
February 28th, 2008 at 6:53 am
That’s a great tactic! I use the puking-out-the-nose defense next time.
February 28th, 2008 at 7:19 am
I think you’re getting better at this. LOL
February 28th, 2008 at 7:21 am
gosh, you can’t argue with vomiting at all.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:59 am
Im surprised to hear your surf board has collected any dust!!
February 28th, 2008 at 9:34 am
You’re going to have to tell her why you don’t want her around with that friend. She’s old enough to know the truth and sort it out for herself.
As for her Mother, I would have done exactly the same.
{{Hugs}}
Sheri
February 28th, 2008 at 9:46 am
She was really going to send her daughter over with your boys being sick?? That amazes me on so many levels… first off, she exposes her own child to the illness. Second, YOU have your hands full with two sick kids and she wants to send another child into the mix? I would have offered to bring dinner over… you know, goldfish or something
February 28th, 2008 at 10:47 am
What cunning tactics!
I swear, your house must be the next best thing to disney with all the playdates hosted there!
February 28th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Wow, that mom sure needs some serious lessons in tact, manners, etc. Or just a big ol’ slap in the head! Sheesh!
Yeah, I think you are going to have to explain to your daughter and hope she’ll work it out. Or maybe limit them to once every two weeks or something?
On a side note, this actually makes me wonder what my mother and my friend’s mother thought when we were that age and simply “had to” spend every possible waking moment together at one of our houses…
February 28th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Poor you! I’m just a meany, and would have said a firm NOO to any activities that weren’t in a group with a firm stop and start time. I’ve found that if a parent in such a situation does not respect the pick-up time, then that parent and child combination are just dropped from the next activity. It just isn’t fair, and children understand that concept quite well, I’ve found!
February 28th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
“If you ban a friendship you guarantee eternal adoration”
You are absolutely right! Unfortunately, this principle applies to dating as well.
February 28th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
What a strange person. I hope the daughter is faring better- or at least not rubbing off too much on yours.
The poor boys. I hope they are feeling better. I got a new inhaler for this round of flu, too. Haven’t had to worry about it for years, and now I’m puffing every 6 hours.
But I hate that feeling right before you reach for the thing… poor little guys.
February 28th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
That was weird! I’ve never met a person who couldn’t take a hint; maybe you should have dropped an Acme anvil on her to see how she’d respond. (“An anvil on my head is perfect! I’ll bring her over now.”)
Sorry, that wasn’t funny at all. Hope your boys are better and that your daughter isn’t devastated with the news.
Got something for you at my blog (http://okasaneko.wordpress.com/2008/02/29/friendships-are-the-oscars-for-my-soul/). Just a little something to show my appreciation for the support and friendship. Your blog always adds color to my day.
Happy day!
February 29th, 2008 at 7:17 am
Wow. I can’t believe she planned on sending her daughter over after you told her your boys were sick. That’s one thing we don’t mess around with here. If either Y or J are sick plans are changed. I don’t want to get someone elses kid sick. And the parents I know usually thank me for considering their child’s health. I hope your boys begin to feel better soon.
March 1st, 2008 at 8:21 am
oy I am so not good a that stuff. I will have to get my surf board out to deal with all these sleep overs and playdate potentials.