To be or not to be, that is probably the answer
We sit at the table to attempt homework.
The table lies in a wasteland, a sea of scrumbled papers, snapped pencils, broken nibs and chewed erasers.
At approximately three minute intervals one of them leaps off the chair, dives down the corridor and escapes out into the garden on a cat retrieving mission. He is oblivious to the rain, barefoot and determined. The hallway is covered with human and pet prints, of the kitty litter variety that harden to cement in minutes. The cat is also resolute, anything to remain outside in the rain so as to avoid the nightmare of homework time. I'm tempted to join him, the cat that is to say.
“You can be?” asks the little one.
“I can? What can I be?”
“You can be my Hamburger Helper.”
“?”
“HAMBURBER HELPER!” he bellows for my benefit.
“What is a hamburger helper?”
“You don know?”
“No I don't? I've seen it in the shops but I don't really know what it's for?”
“Dey are beed sell dem in the shops?”
“Yes.”
“I am not see dem. Where dey are?”
“Um….on the aisle with cake mixes I think.”
“What is it be?”
“What is what dear?”
“Cake mixes?”
“Er….well it's sort of dried…..cake…..you mix it will eggs and stuff and bake a cake.”
“I am not want cake mixes, I am want Hamburger Helper.”
“Why?”
“Coz I am need dah help.”
“How is Hamburger Helper going to help you? You don't eat hamburgers.”
“Oh…..”
“Oh what?”
“I fink I am meaning Homework Helper.”
I don't think that comes in a box.
February 7th, 2008 at 12:08 am
Thats cute.
February 7th, 2008 at 1:12 am
Yay! cheers Kim
February 7th, 2008 at 1:26 am
Poor cat!!
February 7th, 2008 at 2:24 am
We’ll have a box of that too please!!
February 7th, 2008 at 3:06 am
I think your son is a genius! Poor kitty though.
OT, but I use soil instead of cat litter, cheaper, more environmentally friendly, the cats prefer it (it’s better for them in health terms too) and it doesn’t glue itself to the floor. Still gets kicked about a bit like litter though. BG x
February 7th, 2008 at 3:16 am
I could do with some hamburger helper today!
February 7th, 2008 at 4:25 am
When first married, we ate alot of Hambuger Helper…
February 7th, 2008 at 4:52 am
Easy mistake … hamburger … homework …
February 7th, 2008 at 4:57 am
So cute! I wish it were that easy to help with homework…
February 7th, 2008 at 5:03 am
Ah, the power of advertising. Reaches right in and latches onto the brain.
February 7th, 2008 at 5:35 am
Love it! Hamburger Helper is my son’s favorite meal. He especially loves the Beef Pasta. He calls it “noonals.”
February 7th, 2008 at 6:32 am
that is too cute. i bet you’d be rich if you could start selling boxes of homework helper.
February 7th, 2008 at 6:32 am
LOL! Wonderful idea! Homework help should definitely come in a box…right next to the cake mix! I owe you an e…
February 7th, 2008 at 7:04 am
I don’t know how you do the homework thing with more than 1 kid. It’s hard anough for me to have 1 do the homework and distract the other one from bothering the homework doer! I need some homework helper too!
February 7th, 2008 at 7:06 am
I need homework helper! I DESPISE homework time!
February 7th, 2008 at 7:12 am
Ah, if only there were such a thing as homework helper…wait, that’s supposed to be us isn’t it? I shudder when I even think of the vile ingredients in hamburger helper.
February 7th, 2008 at 7:17 am
HA! That’s funny
February 7th, 2008 at 7:43 am
That would be terrific… homework is a nightmare around here. I really, really, used to like Tuna Helper, in my college days.
February 7th, 2008 at 9:12 am
You’re tagged!
http://www.schmutzie.com/2008/02/7-random-andor-weird-things-about-me.html
February 7th, 2008 at 9:35 am
I love it. Wish it did come in a box, cheap and available to everyone…
February 7th, 2008 at 9:35 am
Jack goes to the pantry on a regular basis and hands me a box of Betty Crocker cake mix. I open it and we peek inside … Then I attempt to explain to him that mommy doesn’t cook.
On the other hand, my daughter got so frustrated with her homework yesterday that she placed it on the kitchen counter, put some grape tomatoes on top of it and promptly squished them. It made a mess, but I think she felt better when she was done…
Love the post..
February 7th, 2008 at 10:08 am
Now that WOULD be a useful product! Although around here Homework Helper is also known as mommy.
February 7th, 2008 at 10:59 am
brilliant! homework is a very bad idea…
February 7th, 2008 at 11:09 am
HamburBer helper is so funny. I love this kind of moment in life!
February 7th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Hey, he isn’t the only one who needs needs a homework helper, I’ve needed today to help with my kids homework! (What the hell do I know about the Tudors????)
February 7th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!
February 7th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
You know, you are probably right about that.
February 7th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
That is a hoot! I need a Hamburber Helper here, too. I have one uncooperative homework doer.
February 7th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
OMG!!! That is so cute! What a little cutie pie. I am laughing out loud.
I am really not looking forward to the days when my boys have homework. I was never good at doing my own homework, I have no idea how I’m going to help them with theirs. Perhaps Hamburger Helper WOULD be a better assistant than I.
Funny post!
February 7th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
He is fucking ingenious…
I am serious. He can make great associations.
Love you Maddy.
Suzy
February 7th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Oh .. I laughed out loud at this!
I grew up with a brother who has what we now know as Aspergers but was never diagnosed … it was a LONG time ago … and I have memories of the homework horrors! He could certainly have done with some Hamburger helper!
February 7th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
cute story. Kids are fun!
February 7th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
cute story. Kids are fun!
February 7th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
cute story. Kids are fun!
February 7th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
cute story. Kids are fun!
February 7th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Ha! I can definitely see how one could confuse the two, but wouldn’t it be great if you could buy homework help right next to the cake mix?
February 7th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Bwaaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaa!!!
Amazing little critters these kids eh?
Boo asked me for a clever. Over and over screaming ‘Clever Mummy CLEVER!!!!’ Turns out he wanted a new light globe for the one that had blown.
Now THAT is a light bulb moment!
February 7th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
just the sight of that box brings back some, _strong_ (smelling) memories…….
February 8th, 2008 at 12:52 am
You have amazing kids! Seems like life is never boring around your house. Hope my own son will be able to talk like that one day.
February 8th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Too cute! Hamburger helper has always been a mystery to me.
February 8th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
OMG I am meaning that is so freakin’ cute!