Sinking beneath the Plimsoll line
I take a deep breath to calm the quakes. The message on the answering machine explains, another week, just to be on the safe side. I think of ways to explain this to my children, that their Dad is detained in England with other responsibilities, for 7 additional measures of 24 hours? If I don't manage to talk to another adult soon, I shall be a complete basket case. I currently exist in baby sitter free zone, perfect timing.
I refuse to count the number of meltdowns during the day, as they are all experiencing considerable amounts of stress due to the upset in routine. Ten days of parent teacher conferences will mean short school days. Whilst short school days might be welcome to many children, to two other children they present as an illogical time bomb in the schedule.
My latest mantra is “No Evan!” a hasty mistake and sure to be repeated at school. In an attempt to stop them copying the growling tone of their pal at 50 decibels, I am now stuck with this new phrase in a perseverating cycle, by both boys, in the exact tone that I was trying to avoid. Why did I snap with a denial rather than lure with a distraction, again?
My 28 minute walk to school and their 55 to 95 minute walk home is making serious inroads into any available free time. As yet I have seen no improvement in their ability to sleep. The ability to walk is an A list life goal for people who may never learn to drive or may eventually live somewhere else, other than America. Even if they end up only walking to goal B, for bus terminal, we still need to keep working. We've avoided the cheaters of candy and tapped into another motivator, the promise to consider adding a dog to our household. How can we adopt a dog if no-one can walk the dog?
Intellectual lightweight that I am, I refuse to renege on my new commitment to “Trusera,” if only because I may shortly be I need of their professional services. I am sure that there are a whole category of people who find constant stream of stereo Mario voices, phrases, noises and tunes to be delightful entertainment, sadly I am not one of them.
The prospect of another week of unrelenting responsibility requires a different approach. There is no point in assuming that I can play catch up during a quiet period. Instead I must stay on top of everything continuously, not perfectly but just enough to get by. A juggling exercise just to keep our heads above water. Not all the laundry, just the greater part. Not perfect homework, 'merely' completed, perhaps. I try and think of ways to cut myself a little slack in the system. Anything to pre-empt burn out. But which bit to drop? I do what I do during the day, daily, is in part motivated by the promise that at some juncture in the future, I will be able to touch base with my better half, someone who lightens the psychological load as well as other fringe benefits.
How can I engineer a little slack? I decide to arbitrarily and unilaterally shelve instant administration. If each child could wait more than a nano second for me to oblige them, I will have artificially expanded my work schedule. I determine that a more or less blanket policy is advisable. No-one will die if they have to wait 30 seconds for assistance with pencil sharpening, opening something or toileting. I shall mentally prepare for the fall-out, endure the meltdowns, remain calm and shove the ear plugs in a little deeper.
Coffee to extend and perk up my personal shelf life, or pot of tea to calm down?
I leaf through the mountainous mail, bills upon bills, junk mail in between reams of recycling. My hands are a mass of cuts, not from paper but the lacerations from hand holding on dangerous streets, where nail clippers are a form of torture. I whip out an “envelope,” which contains a card, which contains a message, which gives me just the snippet of hope and strength to make it through until bed time.
It's just like the Cavalry, who always arrive in the nick of time.
Myspace
Graphics- At Myspacejunks.com
March 9th, 2008 at 12:09 am
I wish I lived close enough to come over and ease your load a bit.
Hang in there ((hug)).
March 9th, 2008 at 12:26 am
Wish we could too, at least to do some laundry for you.
And that you had a subway system in sunny California so you could at least sit down a bit while taking your threesome on a ride to wherever.
Deep breath, dive in…..
March 9th, 2008 at 2:08 am
Loaded down to the Tropical Fresh line, and get Winter North Atlantic. Yup, you’re wise to jettison the less-important deck cargo. Give a bouy and/or radar beacon and you may find it again later when seas are calmer.
As for the walking y’all are doing, I think New Balance would serve all of y’all better than actual Plimsolls.
March 9th, 2008 at 3:38 am
poor you! my advice would be to tell the school there will be no more homework until your other half is back (or maybe you do it for them, in wobbly writing to hide the fact), get in a lot of wine and buy some noise canceling headphones…
March 9th, 2008 at 7:24 am
Oh no! Another week! Hang in there, sweetie. ***HUGS***
March 9th, 2008 at 7:58 am
Wish I could help… We have Jason’s deployments coming up and that is always the worst part…they lose their routines and after months of him being gone the routines change yet again. It’s a never ending cycle here. ((HUGS))
Try not to stress the small things, you are an incredible mom.
March 9th, 2008 at 8:17 am
You are such a trooper.
Angela is right…you are an incrediable mom!
PS===You are an encouragement to me.
March 9th, 2008 at 8:27 am
{{Hugs}}
Let is slide Maddy… laundry, dishes, meals, groceries and homework as quick as you can finish it. That’s all. Leave the weeds in the garden, knitting on the shelf and find a book for 30min/day.
Or you’re going to get told you are on Sabbatical too… like I have been put on before by my Dr…. No extras until the Dh gets home.
http://irishwhiskey66.blogspot.com/ remember my friend, she has a service dog, that they trained – she lives in S. Cal. Do you want me to put you in touch with her???
Sheri
March 9th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Strong person you are…very admirable. Hang in there sweetie!! Soon your time will come for a relaxed 20 minutes of your time!!
keep you in my thoughts!!!
March 9th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Many hugs! Not having one’s partner around is like missing one’s limb.
March 9th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
I see I am not the first to say this…let a few things slid as much as you can tolerate it; you can’t get everything done for two when one is missing!
What do you do for yourself to relax and pamper yourself from time to time? (Yeah, I know…what’s that, right?)
March 9th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
I’m sorry. I know that it’s devastating when the moment you’ve counted on, some relief from being sole go-to adult is pushed farther back. You’ve been holding your breath for nearly 2 minutes, just waiting to pull in that sweet air, then get told you have another 30 sec to wait.
I wish I lived close by. Sometimes adult companionship and commiseration can make all the difference to moral.
In the meantime, strap on your own oxygen before applying masks to your children…
I HATE short days at school!
March 9th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Hugs for you Maddy.
In a moment of insanity a few weeks back I shouted at my older daughter to ‘just shut up’. Since then my younger daughter who is autistic has spent much time telling people to ‘just shut up’ in my exact tone of voice.
Hope you make it through the week.
March 9th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Gurlz! Am I the only one who caught the blog-owner’s allusion, and commented upon that? Help me out here you autistic wimminz who’ve memorized significant parts of “The Oxford Companion to Ships and the Sea”, and know what an oscilloscope is!
Oh, and keeping everyone alive, and reasonably well-fed, and mostly un-injured, and out of jail is doing well enough, under the circumstances.
Punt the housekeeping until later, ‘specially if it interferes with sleep.
March 9th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
[...] announce their pull-up and bed status, wet or dry, at 50 decibels, twice over. Whilst he is away in “England,” I am no substitute. I am left to slumber in blissful [...]