Truth or Dare? [Part 2]
It's a simple mathematical equation. If it takes one mother 28 minutes to walk from A to B, then it should take three healthy, youthful, energetic children ….a certain period of time to get from B to A. I use my usual scientific approach, double it and add half of the original = one hour and fifteen minutes, give or take a heart attack.
I give the new campaign considerable thought to aid a successful and therefore self reinforcing spin. I invest in three pedometers and dig out three stop watches to appeal the numerate amongst us. I'm cautiously optimistic that I might be able to tap into the competitive nature of sibling rivalry although that might have hidden dangers.
I remind them of the goal with the assistance of a social story and logic. The goal is the possibility of adding a dog to our household. No hound will be bashful, it will require a daily walk. If no-one is able to walk except me, then the dog shall be mine. I hesitate over the 'mine' word as it is both banned and a trigger word, a dangerous combination. I take a back pack full of water, sun glasses, baseball caps, baby wipes and a front door key.
I am ready. I think?
I shuffle the last one out the door and lock it behind me. They tumble out onto the driveway when I then remind them that we are walking to school today at 6:45 in the morning. A deafening ruckus of protest is immediate from my landed salmon, slapping away on the concrete. I stand and wait. My daughter picks flowers as we wait and glance around for a neighbour count. I use the lighthouse technique, pour praise and attention on the one behaving appropriately. I set her pedometer and stop watch, fiddle with the controls and beam. We arrange her hair over her ears and the sun glasses. The sun glasses catch their attention. We spend a considerable amount of time on the drive way kitting everyone out with their new equipment before we are ready to take a few tentative steps in entirely the wrong direction, since nobody seems to be aware where school might be.
The first real obstacle is one that I should have anticipated, early morning sprinklers. As they sput into action, he bolts before the first droplet has spurted. I order my daughter to keep a safety hand on her brother, the leaning tower of Pisa, as I leg it into the road to retrieve sparky, a jumping jack of nerve endings with the blood curdling screams of the imminently dead. He flails to beat me off but he's still small enough to be scooped. I slope back to the others and piggy back him until he's ready to use his feet again. He's ready quickly, as he strongly objects to being face to face with a back pack, an added bonus.
We make a motley sight ambling towards the school. Spaghetti legs, limp directionless bodies and tippy toes mark us out as rabble. My daughter pauses patiently with each meltdown. We have a remarkably calm exchange, almost conversational in between the screaming protests and collapsed bodies. It is slightly surreal to talk to someone, a pre-teen someone, whilst hunkered on the concrete with a brother who rolls too near a storm drain, 'jail,' or a brother who freaks out at a disfigured road sign or someone convinced that overhead cables are about to fall.
We do not talk about what is happening or who is doing what? She is unfazed and amiable, discusses breeds of dogs, possible names and which sex would be preferable. I fear for her future. What kind of person takes this kind of experience in their stride?
Both boys tell me at frequent intervals, how exhausted they are, although not in so many words, but when the school comes into sight, they both burst forth for a hundred yard dash to the doors. One hour and 17 minutes later, we have completed our first ever leg of the school trip.
We may have fallen by the wayside a few times, but we've all arrived in one piece. Now that's what I call a trip.
March 9th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Wow, you made it! Here, they don’t let kids walk to school. Apparently, if you get hit by a truck while walking to school, the school is liable. I used to break this rule when I was in high school to avoid the dreaded bus, until I got caught.
Walking is so much better. When my wee ones get to high school age, I hope they are allowed to walk. Its all of five blocks away.
March 9th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
we ride bikes to school here in Medford Lakes, it’s the best. well it would be if my kids were here.
March 9th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Congratulations! You did it! THEY did it! And your daughter? I wouldn’t worry about her; she’s learning to keep a level head in the midst of chaos. That’s a trait that will take her very, very far in life! We are cheering here at NiksHouse for your tremendous victory!
March 9th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Congratulations, you did it! Good luck with future walks.
March 9th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
an accomplishment on par with scaling everest
well done.
and you’re right about USA not being walk friendly in a lot of part.s
some place are very much so. a lot of places nto at all. very aggravating as i prefer to walk if i can.
March 9th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
Wow, I hate those Goddamned sprinklers almost as much as I hate the so-called Daylight Saving Time. I live in Southern FL, one of the wetter parts of the US, even when we’re having a drought, but these yankee golf trash insist on wasting good drinking water on their itchy St. Augustine Grass lawns at all times of the year. It’s many a time I’ve been walking to the 7-11, late night/early morning, and been drenched by one of those. I’d generally look around for video cameras, then kick the offending sprinkler head out of its pipe with all of my strength.
Sometimes it took the water-wasting damyankee doodahs a week or two to notice that anything was wrong, and fix their nightly geysers
March 9th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
Congratulations! You give me hope for my future. At this point I don’t care how weird we look getting somewhere, as long as no one is in the path of a car.
Hope it gets easier as you go!
March 9th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
(a) it is a goooood life, iffen you don’t weaken.
(b) have I mentioned recently how much I admire you?
Sidebar: I have banished “meltdown” from my vocabulary, in favor of “flooding” or “dysregulation”
(c) A Rule of Thumb: Two steps forward, one step back (i.e., after a period of improvement and compliance, prepare for more or less extreme dysregulation). See item (a).
March 9th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Oh, and I forgot:
Have something like this
http://tinyurl.com/39mdw8
with you — schlep drinks & snacks to reward the littles, and something for them to put the backpacks etc. in so they don’t have to carry them.
All in the name of making it easier.
March 9th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
“We do not talk about what is happening or who is doing what? She is unfazed and amiable, discusses breeds of dogs, possible names and which sex would be preferable. I fear for her future. What kind of person takes this kind of experience in their stride?”
My kids are like this. Autistic sibs ready you for anything.
March 10th, 2008 at 4:09 am
Wow, Congratulations! I’m always so incredibly in awe of all that you and your kids accomplish. They sound like the most amazing children, all a credit to you BG x
March 10th, 2008 at 5:14 am
well done! i was going to say it can only get easier now but in my experience no sooner do they get used to one thing than another becomes an issue! once you have the dog you can walk it on the way to school and back twice a day! we find teh dogs really calming for all of us – did you see on crufts there was a companion dog for an autistic boy among the ‘friend for life’ dogs?
March 10th, 2008 at 6:29 am
I would have picked them up and dragged them probably before the first block.. yikes… How do you live with that level of anxiety all the time?
My eldest started getting worse and worse again before Xmas… then he was at his grandparents for a week and came home… and OMG.. it was really wrong. When the kid can’t follow a car up the road without melting… and his shirts are destroyed from the chewing…
The meds are still not right, but atleast that anxiety is under control. Now… when we go to the Child Psych… think they have a “anti-fidgit, anti-anxiety, understand cause and effect, ability to concentrate and handle distractions, lets be happy and play nicely with others” drug… If only, eh?
Another month….
{{Hugs}}
Sheri
March 10th, 2008 at 6:39 am
Congrats to all of you! How exciting to make it all the way to school. Your daughter will be a wonderful person, as will my older son, and the skills they learn by helping to cope with and loving their siblings will definately help them in the future. Can you tell I think and worry about that a lot??
March 10th, 2008 at 8:19 am
wow. good for you! over an hour walk – holy cow.
i’ve been noticing recently how interesting it is to talk to my daughter (while the boy(s) throw tantrums). autism is as much a part of her life as anything else, something that i would have found hard to imagine, say, 6 years ago. i’m blessed to have such a mature daughter to help me out!
March 10th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
“one hour and fifteen minutes give or take a heart attack” You are just too funny!!
Congratulations on the walk. We in the midwest are still in the grip of winter and at the mercy of snow and cold. I can’t wait for spring which seems like it will come, oh, sometime in mid June.
March 11th, 2008 at 6:14 am
I am all puffed out. I had to stop many times with you.. and my fingernails are shorter…
Yay.. You made it.. Woot!!!!
loud cheers Kim xxx
March 11th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
That’s quite a trip! Will you be attempting it again? Your daughter is a wonderful young lady.
March 16th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Wow! You did it! (Do I even need to say “sorry I’m so behind in visiting” anymore, as that is my perpetual state of being?)