I listen from afar, but not too far.

Having completed my lecture upon the topic of 'responsibility for pre-teens leads inevitably to more mature benefits,' I ear wig.

I hear her speak to her brothers in an English accent, “come along now boys, it's time to eat your snacks. Come and sit down at the table now.”

Why is that so familiar? Unnatural, the ever so slightly unhinged cheerleader type, but a foreigner.

E gad!

Do I really sound that nauseating? That horrible sing songy sugary toned voice? Such upbeat jolly tones make my toes curl. I should be gagged!

The boys ignore her, as raisins and pretzels are not a preferred snack.

“Come on along boys, you need to eat up if you're going to grow big and strong and healthy!”

I'm sure I've never said that. Surely I've never said that? Just shoot me now.

They protest in response:-

“Jus stoppit already!”
“Stop what?”
“Bein all….er…..poshish?”
“Yeah why for you are bin all Englishish?”
“I’m not! Here, come and sit down.”
“Yur doing it agin.”
“Doing what, exactly?”
“Bein all …….er……..Momish.”

Oh dear. It must be true then.

“I'm not bein Momish, I'm bein grown up.”

Thank heavens they've provoked her into losing the English accent.

“There yah go! Now jus sit nicely on the chair an we can chat together whilst we eat.”
“Nooo chat!”
“Nooo sit!”
“Oh come on you guys, you can do it. So tell me…….whatdaya wanna be when ya grow up?”
“Er……..adultish.”

Just in case you are a little behind, there are three new posts [over the weekend] on “Trusera” that may benefit from your critical talents, even if you have a big behind come to think of it!