Safe landing for the space cadet
The friendship between my youngest daughter and her pal has a dire effect on my family's well being, or rather my “own sanity.”
My eldest daughter, an impartial third party, takes me in hand. After a year in Mozambique, her negotiating skills are finely honed. As she has spent her teenage years in America, she is also far more clued into the locals.
“So what are you saying? Do you think this woman is the wicked witch of the west or merely a “space cadet?”
“Um…..the latter.”
“O.k. so you've got to stop pussy footing around and lay down the law.”
“I never get the chance!” I bleat.
“You've got the grab the bull by the horns, make the time and have it out with her.”
“It's easier said than done.”
“I bet she's got not idea that you feel like this.”
“You think?”
“Well if you talked to her you'd find out wouldn't you. She probably hasn't got a clue what a pain in the ass this all is. I bet she hasn't got a clue about autism either.”
“Hmm, maybe.”
“There's no maybe about it. You never used to be such a wimp.”
“I'm not a wimp! I'm just…….exhausted.”
“Hardly surprising with all those hoops you've been leaping through!”
“I suppose I just don't want to mess it up. It just takes to much energy to carve out some more time to think about it properly.”
“There's nothing to think about. It's a no brainer mum. Next time she comes, drag her into the house and talk to her, explain it to her, no-one on the planet is going to be that dense.”
“You think?”
“You don't have to be mean about it. The boys have a routine, without it there's chaos. Yes to playdates but pre-arranged, no more ambushes and no more sleep overs. Play dates are a privilege remember?”
“Are they?”
“Yes. They always were for me! Do your homework, do your chores, behave well and the reward is the playdate.”
“Is that how it works?”
“Worked for me. Those were your rules and we stuck to them for all the years I was growing up!”
“Ah and look how great you turned out! But it's just not practical. How can I have a private conversation with her when there are five children roaring around the house unsupervised. Would you consider looking after them for me perhaps?”
“No.”
“No?”
“Include the kids. Let them see that this is how adults behave, they talk about things and figure out a solution.”
“Good grief! How did I ever produce such a clever woman as you?”
“So you'll do it?”
“I shall.”
I did.
Today I am also over “here” at “Trusera” with “Positive Reinforcement.”
Also with another post called “Speech Delays.”
April 5th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Surely you produced such a wise young ‘un (may I borrow her?) because she had to do the chores etc. first before the playdates—–and once upon a time, we were all younger!
April 6th, 2008 at 1:24 am
And she took you in hand so well! Wonder where she got it from?!
April 6th, 2008 at 2:21 am
“I did.”
….and??? What happened?
Heidi
April 6th, 2008 at 4:36 am
“I did” – Wonderful, although unlike your daughter I some days wonder about people… but I’m older and more cynical.
I too would like to know what happened. But I never admitted not to being nosy
Hugs!!!!!!
Sheri
April 6th, 2008 at 5:28 am
Yay!!!
April 6th, 2008 at 5:41 am
Oh, great…what happened? Sounds like you raised another wise woman. How do you feel about taking advice from your own offspring?
April 6th, 2008 at 6:52 am
You are purposely keeping us in suspenders. I can hardly wait to see what happened!!!
April 6th, 2008 at 6:55 am
Amen.
I only got to spend the night at someone’s house if I was totally a superstar that week. It’s like a parents secret weapon.
April 6th, 2008 at 7:42 am
The suspense.
Did it work?
Personally….not that it matters….I would not be able to have an effective discussion with my kids around, not if it were serious. Noddy and Junior just can not stop talking and wanting. Noddy must insesently interupt and “add his 2 cents” or ask what we are saying. Also, there is just constant mayhem and chaos. I understand it, but others do not. It is a distraction.
April 6th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Sounds like you got some great advice. I hope it helps!
April 6th, 2008 at 11:12 am
Ooh, you tease! Can’t wait to read the post about THAT conversation!
As for your eldest, well, you know what they say? “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
April 6th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
You did? You DID?
Waiting with baited breath…
How did you do it? What did you say? Was she resentful, was she genuinely sorry she’d been such an insensitive jerk (oops, sorry)?
Don’t keep us waiting too long, please, please, please…
April 6th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Role reversal started a little early…..
You’ve just looked into a mirror and you’re looking back at yourself…
YAY to oldest daughter!
Love you,
Suzy
April 6th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Well good for your daughter. Now I’m waiting to hear how the space cadet reacted.
April 7th, 2008 at 10:05 am
aaaaah!
Tell what happened!
April 7th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
This is a comment on the Postman post, as your video broke my browser.
I, too, would wish to be a postman, in an ideal world.
Have you read Niven and Pournelle’s book, “Lucifer’s Hammer”?
One of the oh, I reckon second-level characters in that book, was a postman.
Facilitating communication is a good and noble thing to do. That’s what I think, anyway
April 8th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Also curious how that conversation went. Sounds like you have a wonderful young woman in your oldest daughter.