Different Strokes for different folks
We survive the first 45 minutes of her being ill, but then she follows me around like a rash.
She reminds me that she is bored at 3 minute intervals. This is my ‘play with me, play with me, watch me, watch me,’ child, not that I’m assigning a role of predestination for any of my children.
Perish the thought!
Although brothers generally fall into the category of ‘pest,’ when they are at school, somehow their company is so much more appealing.
“But I’m real bored Mom.”
“I know dear, but I’m very busy. Why don’t you go and rest in your room.”
“But it’s not like you’re doin nothin.”
“Anything, dear, anything! As I said before, I have a great deal to do and the sooner I get it all done, the sooner I may have some free time. Why don’t you go and rest in your room and think of three things that you’d like to do when I’m finished.”
She sighs and deflates against the wall, “whatya doin then that’s more important than me an bein sick?” The tone of sarcasm isn’t lost on me, but I decide to ignore it. It would appear to be an abuse of power to out sarcasm a sarcastic 10 year old.
“Well right now I’m putting all the boys’ clothes back into the cupboard. I do it every day. It take about 20 minutes depending upon whether they accidentally tipped out the pyjamas too.”
“It sure is a big mess.”
“Hmmm.”
I fold, refold, stack shelves and re-hang T-shirts under her watchful eyes.
“If I did that you’d be real mad at me, right?”
“Well it would depend upon why you’d messed up your closet?”
“It’s not fair, they get to trash their closet every day and you just clean it all up!”
“Is that what you think?”
“It’s always the same, you treat em different.”
“You’re right, I do. Partly because you’re older and partly because there are some things that they find a lot more difficult than you do. Sometimes they need more help.”
“It stinks.”
“Now I have a question for you!”
“Really! What?”
“When you were really little, we had a closet just like this one. Half of it was toys and half of it was clothes. Every day I would try and put you to bed for your nap. Instead of taking a nap like every other toddler in the entire universe, you’d climb the closet shelves and chuck everything out. Then you’d strip your bed. Every day. Now why do you suppose you did that?”
“Geez, I have no idea! What did you do?”
“Every day after your non existent nap, I’d come up here and you’d be sitting in your devastated room with a mischevious grin on your face. I would be so cross with you. Daddy and I decided that we’d just leave mess and put you to bed at night without the bed clothes.”
“I don’t remember that either.”
“Well you wouldn’t, because some time during the evening, once Daddy was home, I’d zip up here and straighten it all out. It took ages but I just couldn’t put you to bed like that, it seemed too unkind.”
“Wow. How long did I do that for then?”
“Eternity.”
“What happened to stop it?”
“I gave up trying to get you to nap.”
“Why did I do that? It seems kinda weird.”
“Well, I think it’s because you didn’t have enough words to explain that you didn’t want to nap and probably more importantly, that you didn’t need a nap. You always were an energizer bunny.”
She slithers down the wall onto her hunkers, stares at the self portrait picture of her big sister. “Did she do weird stuff when she was little too?”
“Oh yes indeed. There’s not a child on the planet that doesn’t do “weird stuff” sometimes. The trick is to figure out the why? Once you know the ‘why’ it won’t be weird any more.”
Post script:-
Take one Lilo and Stitch video
Extract Elvis
Add birthday present CD and “Mix”
Alternative “Junior production.”
Cheers Debra!












June 5th, 2008 at 5:12 am
One of the big things we are going to work on is chores this summer.
Eldest has to be reminded but is good about tidying/fetching clothes once reminded. He’s bad about closing cupboard doors and will remove more than one item and drop the other on the floor and walk away.
Little boy needs help but is agreeable. I would like to make him more independant. ie. When he gets up early and you tell him to get clothes and go to the potty. He does the 2nd (DS is in the bathroom - HUGE incentive
), but not the first. ALTHOUGH, with you there, and verbal prompting through the steps he will do both.
I’d love to think they won’t need reminding… but I think that’s a kid thing
I will settle for doing the chore when reminded - for now.
S
June 5th, 2008 at 5:16 am
I can sympathize with the ‘play with me, watch me’ syndrome. My five-year-old is relentless. She uses guilt instead of sarcasm. “You just want to work instea dof be with me!” She has no idea how not true that is, but it’s got to be done. However, she’s good about cleaning up her room with lots of reminders.
June 5th, 2008 at 5:55 am
Wow, you handled that extremely well. I’ve always struggled with how to explain the “unfairness” to Patrick’s older brother. Thank you for giving me some ideas on what I can say to help it all make sense.
Cheers. Oh, and I guess I should be thankful that I don’t have any “play with me, watch me” children….at least not yet.
June 5th, 2008 at 7:35 am
that is great, you did wonderful. weird is good for sure
June 5th, 2008 at 7:50 am
You’re wonderful, Maddy! And that “the sooner I get this done, the sooner I can play with you” tactic never works in my house either. Sigh.
June 5th, 2008 at 8:07 am
good for them to each understand the other’s tendencies, and “weirdness.”
June 5th, 2008 at 11:11 am
You handled that much better than I would have.
June 5th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Great example… they all do go through their stages, don’t they? I wonder when my daughter, who is 15 months younger than Xan, will realize she doesn’t have Autism… strange works both ways.
June 5th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
Hi,
I just voted for your blog for Bloggers Choice Awards.
Could you return the favor at:
http://www.bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/21620
Thanks,
SpEdLaw2