A den of vipers [England is Evil 13]

He stops dead in front of the gate before taking up a horizontal position on the ground.
“What’s up love?”
“Nuffink.”
“Don’t you want to come down to the beach?”
“Nope.”
He sounds calm but you never can tell.
“You can’t stay there love, people will trip over you.”
“I am wait.”
“What are you waiting for?”
“For everyone to be coming.”

I lean against the fence to watch the rest of our party descend the windy path. I look over at the busful of school children who have also come to admire fossils. We were careful not to make promises, as Ammonites are few and far between. They are content to know that they are ‘rare types.’ Once again I am grateful that ‘Pokemon speak’ helps us translate so accurately.

“BEE Wah EE is mean danger?”
“Er…..yes! It’s pronounced ‘beware.’ So……?” He gives me ‘the look,’ the look that says ‘idiot, isn’t it obvious!’ He sighs but does not belittle my tiny brain, “dah sign it say ‘beware.’”

I look around for the sign, a sign, any sign. “Ooo! Right! It’s says ‘beware adders,’ well spotted, but there’s nothing to worry about dear really.”
“I no worry, I safe.”
“Ah……well…..adders are very shy creatures, you don’t have to be scared.”
“I not creature. Not scared neever.”

His nonchalance changes to outrage. I suffer another dose of ‘the look.’

“I be a boy not a creature, I be a adder not a scaredy cat!”
“Oh….. er………?”
Dey are not adder peoples,” he explains as he points at the rest of his family down on the beach. How I love the new “rude” pointy fingers on limp arms, a skill expressed in youthful “toddlers,” that comes later for some other people. “I am an adder people,” he points at his chest with a serious expression, “so I am wait here….by dah sign……safe……”

Can’t argue with the logic.  Thank goodness I can still do long division.

I should like to take this opportunity to thank “Miss Nelson” from “Meaningful Outcomes” for pointing me in this direction over the weekend, bound to come in useful assuming I can find my “bookmark” again!



12 Comments

  1. graceunderautsim:

    glad you linked to the word cause I was just about to google it. Sometimes it takes me a few minutes to connect your titles to the topic…that’ll teach me to read late at night :)

  2. Trixie:

    HAHAHA! I love the way his brain works!

  3. Claudia:

    Hi

    Delurking briefly to say “hi” and I’ve enjoyed your “England is Evil” series. PS-I completely get “pokemon” speech, though for me lately, its been “speed racer” speech (HA HA) or Ben-10 speech.

  4. furiousBall:

    what a smart guy, i enjoyed this series as well :)

  5. bluelyon:

    Maddy, I’ve forwarded your info on to William’s mom. Take care.

  6. beck:

    Beware adders! Yikes!

  7. Angela:

    LOL..I would be right next to the sign as well!

  8. Angela:

    By the way–where is number 11? England is Evil 11… I need 11. :)

  9. Jayne:

    Of course it all makes sense when translated into long division.
    Algebra helps, too ;)

  10. Shelia:

    Beautifully written. He is precious. Thanks for the link to the word graphic!!!

  11. Joeymom:

    LOVE LOVE LOVE the pointy-fingers! Joey will point, but not often, even now. How do they grow up so fast?

  12. tlchang:

    I’m being frightened of potential adder sightings now. Are they a big problem?

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