England is Evil

Don't get me wrong, I'm delighted that he feels able to express his viewpoint verbally. I'd just prefer it if he could be a little more circumspect, especially whilst we happen to be in England.  I'm sympathetic to many of his complaints, that the milkshakes are too small and that weather is too big, but loud mouthed Americans are just to much of a cliché, even for him.

Handy travel hint of the day – to ensure that your suitcases are fresh for next year, tuck a tumble drier sheet inside before storage.  Take care to assess whether or not tumble drier sheets should be eliminated from your life style, along with the tumble drier to reduce your carbon footprint on the planet.  Should you suffer the misfortune of someone vomiting in your suitcase, admit defeat and chuck away the suitcase, carbon footprint be damned. Be grateful that your brain torture has ceased and that the mysterious stench is no longer mysterious.  Don't forget to thank the thoughtful child that shut the suitcase after use.

Normal service shall be resumed as soon as humanly possible.

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20 Comments

  1. Robin:

    At least you’ve finally located the stench?

    It’s good to hear from you Maddie. Take care, and safe journey.

  2. kristina:

    Still cleaning up “traces” in my car.

    http://www.autismvox.com/you-know-youre-a-parent-when/

  3. Angela:

    Ah…the worst smell to try and locate.

  4. Niksmom:

    Eeeeeeewwwwww! And yet, you’ve retained your brilliant sense of humor!! (Or should that be humour for those of you experienceing re-entry to the States??)

  5. Mary (MPJ):

    I’m glad you’re back, Maddy. I missed you. But I don’t really want to think about that suitcase situation. My husband assured me that I would find vomit easier to deal with when I had kids and “had to” learn to deal with it — he was wrong.

  6. Casdok:

    Welcome back!
    How big are the mikshakes over there?!

  7. Madeline:

    They are humungeous, one glassful and a spare in a metal container. They’re mostly icecream and more of a solid than a liquid. If you try and suck one through a straw your eye balls will pop out onto the table.
    Cheers

  8. Jennifer:

    Um.

    Ew.

    My classroom staff and I are always careful at the beginning of the year to determine each other’s “issues.” For myself, I have no problem with the various things that come out of noses or other body parts, except that.

    Fortunately, I always have one staff member who says, “Oh, I’m fine with anything as long as it’s not noses!”

    Hope you enjoy your new suitcase…I’ll recycle something for you. :-)

    (Ew.)

  9. redheadmomma:

    O.M.G!!!
    Missed you, Maddie!

  10. tlchang:

    Ouch… At least your sense of droll humor appears to be intact.

    Good to ’see’ you again.

  11. Bad mommy:

    Welcome back! I hope that untangling from the trip will yield no more mystery smells, and all of the underwear and socks and that you left with!

  12. Marita:

    Welcome home :)

  13. Franki:

    Oh poor dear. Vomit is the worst. Hang in there.

  14. Andrea:

    So glad to see you back, Maddie!! Sorry to hear about the suitcase, though. *hugs*

  15. joker the lurcher:

    tumble dryer sheets? how pampered your appliances are over there. do they have duvets too?

  16. gretchen:

    Welcome back- you were missed!

  17. farmwifetwo:

    Welcome back!!!!

    Thanks for the book.

    Hugs.

    Sheri

  18. kal:

    Oh no. So great to see you back.

  19. Joeymom:

    Welcome home!!!

  20. Leanne:

    Well Bless his little heart for closing the suitcase when he was finished with it. *giggle* Once again, good to have you back.

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