Assertiveness training
My oldest son talks less frequently than some other children, but he does “talk.”
When he was younger than he is now, people often saw fit to remark upon his early attempts at communication in a less than complimentary manner. Stutters and stammerers are used to such treatment. The struggles of speech production are rarely appreciated, merely mocked. Initially I was ill equipped to either retaliate or educate. I took solace in the lonely thought that “I knew otherwise.” I knew that his instincts were “keen.”
Empowerment is an annoying but popular word. As a natural born wimp from birth, at some moment on the journey I decided to adopt this approach for my own children, not the wimpy but the empowering. I would learn to speak up, not be mealy mouthed, challenge and stand tall, but I’m still practicing.
***
I launch into a monologue of the glories of one of our cats. His attractive appearance, skittishness and howling yeowl. I wax lyrical of his charms, more dog like than cat, more intelligent and delightful than the average feline.
My son takes a step towards me to look me straight in the midriff.
“Mom?â€
“Yes dear?â€
“It’s not nice to have favourites.â€
Some people learn better than others.
August 8th, 2008 at 4:17 am
Maddy, I can relate. I know my son always knows what he wants to say in his head but can’t seem to find the right words always. But somehow, he will say something so prophetic or intuitive at times, it knocks me over! Sounds like you enjoy the same phenomenon! Your cats are lovely by the way, and the children even lovlier! Wish my boy loved ours as much as it looks like your kids love yours!
August 8th, 2008 at 5:12 am
Maddy, things are tough for me right now, and every time I feel low and alone, I rush to my computer and look you up. I always find something to make me laugh or hope or at least believe that there are others out there struggling valiantly.
August 8th, 2008 at 5:23 am
he’s brilliant. and so right.
August 8th, 2008 at 5:42 am
Jeez, that’s a big cat! Profound statements from children reaffirms you’re doing something right…
August 8th, 2008 at 6:11 am
Ha!
I guess he told you!
Love that boy….
Suzy
August 8th, 2008 at 6:17 am
Ah but we can’t help but have favourites. (You’ve just gotta make sure they don’t know!)
August 8th, 2008 at 6:56 am
those cats are so sweet, i love it when kids learn the gentle/play balance that cats need
August 8th, 2008 at 7:20 am
out of the mouths of babes…
August 8th, 2008 at 7:26 am
Niksmom said EXACTLY what I was going to say … which, of course, leaves me speechless. So, I’m going to shut up and go away now … find some other place to play.
*sniff* *whimper* *whine*
August 8th, 2008 at 7:28 am
those darn cats! Maddy, I honestly believe that our cats have been the best therapy for Evan (and me) They have taught everything from speech to responsibility…and the social skills are too numerous to list…
beautiful children, beautiful cats!
August 8th, 2008 at 8:05 am
Amazing to hear our own words come back at us, huh?
August 8th, 2008 at 8:08 am
i love the photo of your beautiful babes .. those moments are so precious, so fleeting .. thanks for sharing, maddy .. as always, i leave with a smile
August 8th, 2008 at 8:30 am
you know, there are those who fill the air with their speech and say nothing. then there are those who are much more reticent but every utterance is pregnant with significance. good on him.
August 8th, 2008 at 8:40 am
Yep - got one of those myself, a kid that has “trouble” talking, but everything he says is worth listening to!
August 8th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Oddly, my children never ask me if I love one of them better than another - they only want to know whether I love them better than the cat. To them, he’s the ultimate competition for my affections.
And yes, my huge orange male tabby is a superior specimen. A wonderful creature who is plusher than a bunny, standoffish but loyal, and comes when whistled up (or sits for his treats) just like a dog. What’s not to love? But I do love the children more. Most days.
August 8th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Basically what lime said. I’ll also add that your children are beautiful, which I’m sure I’ve said many times, but I’m struck by it today for some reason. Patrick really wants a cat. With hubby absent I’ve said no, but he’s getting a fish and he can’t wait.
August 8th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Whoa! You will have to watch what you say, no?
August 8th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Your children are so lovely! And the cats, well, I’m such a cat lover! And that fat orange one is just the best if I’m allowed to have a favorite!
I so enjoy you!
August 9th, 2008 at 4:58 am
I love your kitties and your children are made of awesome. I haven’t had the heart to get another cat since we lost ours in May, but I think the kids would love another one (might help keep the in-laws away too).
I find it so irritating when people make fun of those trying to organize their thoughts. I know someone whose child has those mental/verbal hiccups and I cringe when she gets impatient.
August 9th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Sweetums tends to get a bit frustrated when someone can’t understand what she’s saying. Especially when they look at me to interpret. Sigh.
Her kitty understands perfectly. ;o)