No dipsticks here! [*]
Please scroll down for Magic Marker Monday
We move relentlessly forward with the food campaign for the neophobic, the eater of 15 foods.
Currently my son enjoys a slime free diet, where slime equates to anything that could remotely be described as ’semi liquid.’ In an attempt to push out the boundaries we offer ketchup, Thousand Island dressing and any other number of condiments for him to dip his Goldfish Crackers. We, on the other hand, truly enjoy guacamole, hummus and Salsa with warm pitta pocket strips.
The groans of agony from the end of the table increase in volume. I make direct inquiries:
“Is it the stink of your dips or the stink of our dips that’s upsetting you dear?”
“Evey fing is stink!”
Fair enough, I just needed a little clarification.
The family offer helpful suggestions;
“Why dontcha make em swim in dah blood one!”
“Howabout you try the mayonnaise, that doesn’t taste of anything anyways.”
“You know dey will slip down much more easily with a little grease. Look at your ribs! You need a little grease.”
“Here try a pretzel stick instead, then you won’t have to worry about your finger tips getting mucky.” He takes the proffered stick gingerly, a bit like a magic wand. He looks from stick to dip, from dip to stick and then back to us, a collective group of torturers.
“Wot I am doing wiv dis stick?”
“Stick it in the dip. Poke it. Put one end in the…..little bowl.”
“Stick is being too dangerous for me,” he wheedles, following a well furrowed path. I turn to his dad, “do you know, maybe we’re going about this the wrong way?”
“Tell me something we don’t already know.” I nip back into the house to snatch some tired old forgotten Brandy Snaps and some Maple syrup. “Here you go. How about we try something sweet instead?”
“Wot! Wot are doz fings? I am not be eating dah food wiv dah holes!” His outrage seems genuine enough.
“Curly pretzels have holes. You’ve eaten holes before!” I plead. My husband looks at me and blinks, but remains silent.
I sit back down. We don’t ignore him as such but we do not perseverate upon him. Well done us! Fortunately, like most parents, I am able to see without actually looking, through half shut lids and lashes. He dances a tentative waltz, a sniff, a poke, a little bat just to check that it’s not going to fight back, a tongue tickle, a shudder, another attempt, more of a lick, a wince and a shudder, and then finally a bite. The bite is followed by gagging and neck clutching, then mastication, a few escaped crumbs but approximately 55% of the mouthful is swallowed.
Yeah!
I say nothing with a face of stone. My face of stone turns to a Medusa head to warn his father to remain oblivious.
I wait for him because I want him to own it.
I wait until the third mouthful.
“Hey Mom!”
“Yes dear.”
“I am be….eated it.”
“Yeah for you! What a brave mouth. See you can eat sticks after all!”
“Er…..no…….I am not be eat sticks……..I am be eat holey snaps.”
[*] dipstick = foolish person, “slang” from “Only Fools and Horses.”
Remember at this time of year Californians, that paper “STAR”s are not a true reflection of our little twinklers.
September 15th, 2008 at 1:25 am
Well done both of you! Yay for new foods!
September 15th, 2008 at 2:45 am
Oh, it’s the small things in life isn’t it?
In our case, if our son would just something I make, that would be a great success!
September 15th, 2008 at 4:46 am
Oh very well done, indeed! “Holey snaps”…too cute. So proud of his bravery as I *know* you are!
What a nice post to read before heading off to feeding therapy with my own!
September 15th, 2008 at 5:23 am
I totally agree with you on those paper STARS.
Congratulations on the addition of holey snaps to the food repertoire. Here’s to more semi-liquid foods in the near future!
September 15th, 2008 at 7:55 am
We’ve tried OT, mommy-child cooking classes, grow-your-food gardens, bribery, all to no avail. When I start to worry about my son’s limited diet, I repeat the following affirmation: “Screw it, he takes a multivitamin.”
September 15th, 2008 at 9:34 am
Cannot get enough of these dialogue snippets!
I need to count how many things Rojo eats – I’ll be surprised if it’s over 15, and Goldfish are top of the list.
September 15th, 2008 at 9:59 am
Good for him! Those look yummy, what are they exactly! I’m in Calfornia too. Good article! Bobbi
September 15th, 2008 at 10:36 am
Your son’s personality really shines through in your dialogue. Am glad he tried another food.
September 15th, 2008 at 11:42 am
I’m laughing hysterically because you’ve just described meal/snack time at my house! Only difference is my son’s not as patient- once he refuses, that’s it.
I am also well familiar with the stoic Medusa face given to others in attempt to keep them looking oblivious. After 5 years together, my “other half” still looks at me like I’m crazy and says, “what are you looking at me like that for??? Oh right.”
September 15th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
holy dispticks, now just a little 45% more!
September 15th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Sweet a good idea
tis the little things
Maybe I should try that combo
Smiles!
September 15th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Well done! Hurray for new foods! I say, work down a bunch of sweet stuff, and no worries: get around to the mayonnaise (which freaks out brave adults I know) at some later date.
My small one likewise is a slime free zone. On the other hand, he’s all about filet mignon, prepared rare. And a baked potato (butter only). Where did I go wrong?
September 15th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
maybe it’s the brandy that makes them tolerable? Is he teetering after eating them?
September 15th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Love the blood comment. I’m sending a virtual hi-5 your way. A wholy holy good thing it is. I hope you don’t run out of those things!
September 16th, 2008 at 5:39 am
That’s awesome he was able to work through it! And I’m very impressed with the way you allowed him to ‘own it.’ Well done all around!
January 27th, 2009 at 12:00 am
[...] “Who?” [...]