Lunch with Love

Warning!
Not for the squeamish
Graphic material follows

We eat in the garden as the 'outside' campaign continues before the Fall puts the campaign on the back burner until next year. I present him with his ‘Burrito,’ a tortilla folded and positively engulfed in Nutella, more of a chocolate crepe if truth be told. The price hike from $2:79 to $4:89 for the only type of bread he will eat, makes diet expansion a priority. He examines it closely but makes no attempt to eat it whatsoever. As usual, I adopt my ‘not interested nor anxious’ expression. Whilst he makes rooster noises at the end of the table, I encourage the others to eat their more conventional versions.

“You didn’t put cheese in it didya Mom?” asks the intolerant one.
“Not in yours dear.”
“Mom?”
“Yes dear?”
“If ya kiss more dan one girl……….. d’ya get poisoned?”
“Um…..no I don't think so…….but…..er……nevermind, we'll talk about that later. Now eat up your Burrito.”

I make a mental note to follow up on any number of possibilities from blind alleys and cul-de-sacs, to faithfulness and fickleness.

“I……don like……dah………guaca yuk.”
Guacomole! It's very good for you. Just remember…..green is good.”

I contemplate the age old difficulty, his inability to say the word 'green,' although he has no difficulty whatsoever with any other hue from Emerald, all the way through to Myrtle and British Racing.

“Mom?”
“Yes dear?”
“Whats zis?”
“Dill and Basil. All fresh, highly nutritious.”
“Mom?”
“Yes dear?”
“Praying Mantises.”
“What about them?”
“Are dey……..vegetarians?”
“Mainly, although they're not averse to the odd bite of cannibalism here and there.”
“What’s for dessert?”
“Er…..I’ve not thought that far ahead yet.”
“Do I have to eat all ofit Mom?”
“Yes, every scrap.”
“Can I still have dessert if I don’t?”
“I’m afraid not.”
“Doesn’t matter anyways. I expect desserts summat disgusting too.”
“Actually…….we’ll be having………” I troll through my mental image of the fridge contents. I have decided to have it tattooed on the inside of my cranium…….. “er……strawberries.”
“Cream? Do we get to have cream too?”
“Possibly.”
“Can I check if we’ve got any?”
“When your plate is empty.”

My ‘image’ is hazy. I can’t quite get the cream into focus.”

“I am a good sharer.”
“Indeed you are.”
“I'm gonna share …….my Burrito……..with love.”
“Ah. That's so delightful. Very thoughtful but I think maybe you had better eat it yourself, build you up a bit.”
“But she is having……only………..a teeny tiny appetite.”
“Um……who has a teeny tiny appetite?”
“Love.”
“Er………?”
“I am give my pet a name.”
“A name? Which pet?”
“Look! ….. Here she is. ……. Mom,…… meet Love.”

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