Whitterer on Autism

Hosted by “Tracy” at “Mother May I,” but the photo-picture below will whizz you right there with one click.

I field questions all day, correct diction, repeat back the preferred form and generally exhaust everyone with my efforts. During a brief lull my youngest pipes up, “lookie, lookie, lookie!”
We look, all of us, out of the window and follow the pointy finger.
“What are we looking at dear?”
“Er…..dat car’s butt is dirty,” he chortles, with quite the filthiest undertone of a brothel creeper.
“Ah…..someone’s written in the muck……anyway….it’s a car boot.”
“Boot?”
“Yes, car boot, not car butt.”
“Boot?”
“Yes, boot as in shoe.”
“Actually” she adds with a hint of smarm, “it’s car trunk mom, trunk as in back.”
“Er…” percolates the little one, “trunk……. as in elephant,” shortly before he dissolves into cackle on the floor.

Which is why I am happy to be female, with all my withered bits and bobs in their original places, human, without a cone on my head and ever so slightly humane. If that’s not a reason or two to be happy, then I don’t know what is?

Nonna is still on fine form.

‘How long does it take to teach an autistic kid to tidy toys?’

What a corker!

Whilst I’m tempted to launch in with my size tens, I think I would have to own up and say that without asking a few questions of my own, I should have no idea. What would I need to know? Their age, both chronological and developmental, just for starters. It would be helpful to know their current means of communication, verbal, PEC’s, sign, although not essential. I think my biggest question would be, ‘has he or she learned how to play?’ This might see a rather strange kind of a query. Surely if there are toys that need tidying, then there must be someone playing with them? A good point, but not necessarily true. There is a big difference between dumping out a trough full of toys onto the floor for easy access, and actually playing with them.

A child who has learned to play doesn’t actually need any toys because ordinary household objects can be playthings with a little imagination. A wooden spoon can be an oar or a magic wand. This ability is innate in many people, but not in others. Some children can pretend that a Superman figure is a baby doll, or that a baby doll is a dog, or that a dog is a horse. Other people, with help and encouragement can learn these things too.

Still doubtful? It may help to observe the child in question. Does he really play or merely repeat movements, stereotypical, over and over again. Similarly when children line up objects or toys. Then there is also scripting when a child can repeat a storyline from a book of film with exactitude. Sadly, once these behaviours are recognized for what they are, all too often this is the spark that people wish to extinguish. For my children, these behaviours, and others, were a starting point, something to ignite and work with, rather than against.

How else can you tell whether play skills are under developed? An easy test it to take the child to a toy shop. Some children dive into the store and head straight for their favourite spot. Others browse everything in awe, flit from shelf to shelf. Still others refuse to get into the car in the first place and have no interest in going to any shop, let alone a toy shop.

On arrival, some of these children prefer to play with the electronic doors, many cannot go inside because of the lighting, the noise, the busyness and are completely overwhelmed. Some may find the shop entertaining because they can read the labels or examine price tags, as numbers are generally enthralling wherever they happen to be. In fact they can be so enthralling that this particular child refuses to leave the store.

So, my initial answer would have to be, first teach your child to play. I like to think that play, is children’s work. Once they have learned to play, then teaching anything else is so much easier. I’m almost tempted to say that teaching play skills is even more important that attempting to teach speech to the non-verbal. This is because a child may have fabulous speech facility but still be incapable of play, whereas once a child can play, then teaching speech is a prolonged and life long game, but I’m more than open to opposing views.

These are just a few hints. It may be that your child already plays delightfully, in which case, learning to tidying up will be an absolute breeze. If on the other hand, you recognize something here, then I can only say that all is very far from lost. Not so long back my own non-verbal children did not play. Now they play and they speak. What’s more, they have achieved the pinnacle of success in my book, namely, pretend play, where the only limits are the outer edges of our own imaginations.

Still don’t “believe” me. Would I lie to “you?”

Many parents of autistic children spend many hours and a great deal of money on speech therapy. We do this in the hope that our children’s ability to communicate will be enhanced and become easier with time. Speech production is a complex skill, especially if we include the social nuances so often implicit in everyday conversations. The subtlties of language are often difficult to nail down. Even sophisticated speakers, the Asperger side of the spectrum, are often flummoxed by their own logic. Frequently, they all miss the realm of speech patterns most common amongst their peers. All to often, parents put heavy burdens upon their children with their high expectations.

………

I am in the middle of my usual list of prompts and cues as we stumble our way through the morning routine before school. Like most youngsters, my children are tuned out and difficult to keep on track. Neither has uttered as much as a syllable in 20 minutes or more. My patience wears thin as I notice that people who were dressed at 7:30 are no longer dressed at 7:35. I know there’s a catch in my voice, “listen up! I need you to put your clothes on!”
“Yadda, yadda, yadda! Your needs!”
“!”

This from the child who has difficulty retrieving the word ‘green.’ All too often it seems that they exceed my expectations.

After more than 8 years of tireless and rigorous training, there are few outstanding skills that we’re still working on, towit my nightly view at the dinner table.

If you enjoy caption competitions and photographs, you may wish to nip along to“DJ Kirkby” over at “Chez Aspie” and test your brain power.

“Jessica” explains the rules as follows:-

“To award someone a ROFL Award:

1. Pick a post from the current month that made you laugh.
[Please only choose original material written or developed by a blogger - i.e., not a YouTube video, cartoon, or joke circling the Net.]

2. E-mail me a link to the post that you are nominating AND a link to your blog by the deadline.
[I will send you the award button so you can share it with the blogger you've nominated.]

3. I will send you the award button code a day or so before the awards are to be posted.

4. Send the person you are awarding the award button code and let them know when the ROFL Awards will be posted for the month.

5. On the first Friday of the month, write a post on your blog about the post you nominated.
[Please link back to this blog (Oh, The Joys) and to Tania at Chicky Chicky Baby so that people can see the full list of award winning funny posts.]

6. Read all the funny posts for the month and enjoy!

Feel free to e-mail me with questions.

I look forward to laughing with you!”

Not sure about the ‘first Friday’ versus the deadline, but here is my offering in any case:-

For “Mama Mara” over at “Mama on the Edge,” for her post called “Finding Dr. Right,” If she can find humour in her life, then I think we might all be able to take a leaf out of her book, as long as you put it back again with some sticky tape.

Cheers Dears

One of the best ways to get organized is to delegate household chores to your children. One of the best ways to motivate your children to co-operate is to provide finely targeted bribes. The current bribe currency around here is Webkinz, but they’re a bit pricey, especially in these financially stricken times. So, if your household is in need of a little extra motivation, why not make a few of your own bribes.

Body
Cast on 30 stitches to a size 10 [US] circular needle. Mark the beginning of the round. Knit two rows knitwise.
Increase one stitch knitwise every second stitch. [60 stitches]

Knit one round
Increase one stitch every third stitch. [80 stitches]
Knit seven rounds without increasing.
Decrease – knit two together, repeat to end of the round [40 stitches]
Knit one round
Decrease – knit two together, repeat to end of the round. [20 stitches]
Knit two together, repeat [ten stitches]
Thread through the tail with the crochet hook and pull through and tie off on the wrong side.

Legs
Knit eight I cords with six stitches, one inch shorter than the length of a standard pipe cleaner. Insert pipe cleaner with a crochet hook and pull through the centre. Fashion each end of the pip cleaner into a loop and squeeze the pointy end tightly with wire cutters. Sew the loose end on the yarn at each end to cover and flatten the ends. Atatch home made or shop bought pompoms to one end. Sew the bald end to the body of the spider on the outside [right side] with invisible stitches.

Sew on eyes and pompom mouth. Secure contrasting coloured pipe-cleaner for the mouth and make sure to neaten the inside ends so that they don’t poke through = tie the ends together on the inside, twist off and add a blob of glue so that if they do move they will not be sharp.

Stuff the body and sew contrasting circle of fabric to the underbelly.

Clearly, they motivate lots of children, not just mine.

Now with the easy part over, it’s down to the real business. If your children have an eye for detail, then a Webkinz logo is an absolute must.

First pick a language, an unfamiliar one. Learn two or three lines, together with an authentic accent. Secondly, decide upon which type of disguise best suits you. Ideally this should be a disguise that is credible, no Chuck E Cheese Mouse suits please. Find you finest pair of small sharp sewing scissors and secret them about your person. Then, take yourself off to the local Hallmark shop or any other fine retailer of the much favoured Webkinz.

On arrival, blend discretely amongst the other legitimate shoppers. Do not draw attention to yourself by acting oddly. Wait patiently for the right moment and then discretely hack off the nearest Webkinz label available. Return the bald Webkinz to the back of the shelf and run like hell. Do not worry if you are caught as you have the best defense in the world, a real justification that cannot be thwarted by logic.

As I may have mentioned earlier, this tackle is not for the faint hearted.

If you find that you’re not a ‘Mission Impossible’ type, your second option is to take careful note of the Webkinz that already enjoy household space at home. Wait until all junior persons are absent from the home, preferably for a long period of time, such as during school and then determine which Webkinz is for the chop? Take your sacrificial Webkinz and slice off it’s leg, unpick the Webkinz logo and sew it neatly on the new and perfectly unique Webkinz of your own design.

Before the children return home, nip outside and find a rock. Smash your front window with the rock from the outside to make sure that the broken glass falls on the inside of the floor to prove that you had no defense against the wicked, Webkinz robber who burgled the house whilst they were away.

Either option should be completed early in the morning. On completion, early in the morning, you shall now have the rest of the day to complete your mission. First it is necessarily to acquire a massive brain such that you are able to hack into the Webkinz site on-line. Once hacked, it is then essential to steal a legitimate Webkinz code. Having stolen the Webkinz code, all you have to do is to perfectly forge the Webkinz papers of authenticity, insert into a plastic Webkinz liner. Carefully wipe clean of all incriminating evidence, such as finger prints. Be sure to wear latex gloves. Attach code package to the Webkinz, with a pale blue ribbon that you saved from a previous purchase.

I think this is probably where I went wrong?

Anyone want a green spider perchance? I’ll forward the ribbon later on, if I ever find it.

Hosted by “Tracy” at “Mother May I,” but the photo-picture below will whizz you right there with one click.