How to insult someone in a foreign language
I drop the cleaver in favour of the whisk and the rapidly deflating soufflé whilst my children squabble, full of hot air and pent up emotion.
“Jus leave it alone why dontcha! Yah lil ol dipstick.”
“Don’t call him a dipstick dear.”
“Why?”
“It’s not kind to insult people without reason or rather….”
“But I do have a reason.”
“Oh…..well don’t do it anyway. He’ll think you’re being mean.”
“But I wanna be mean.”
“Oh dear. Why….?”
“What it is?” interjects the insultee.
“What is what dear?”
“What is a dipstick being?”
“Ah….well a dipstick is a stick that you poke or rather dip, into the oil in your car to see if there’s enough juice.”
“What kinda juice?”
“Oh not juice, I meant oil.”
“Dere is being oil in dah car?”
“Yes.”
“Is dat being dah English car?”
“Er……no all cars run on oil or rather have oil in them and petrol of course.”
“Aha! It is being dah English cars.”
“How so?”
“English cars are being dah petrol but American cars are being dah gas.”
I’ve always wondered about gas fired cars? Just as well some people are fueled by logic.
March 27th, 2009 at 4:20 am
Quite an astute fellow. As for the gas, well, I suppose it is technically a fine mist. . . . .
But I did have an uncle who worked WAY out in the country who converted his pickup to propane. It was 20 miles into town and the nearest gas station, so this made incredible sense. He could also run on methane, but we absolutely will not go there!
March 27th, 2009 at 4:58 am
LOL perhaps we should go over to coal fired cars.
March 27th, 2009 at 7:02 am
My Rose was just giggling about differences between American and British English yesterday.
“If dessert is called pudding, then what do you do when you’re, like, having butterscotch pudding for dessert? Does that mean you’re having pudding for pudding?”
Heh.
March 27th, 2009 at 8:27 am
Your boys are quite bright and you can’t pull anything over on them, can you? At least they’re talking about gas in regards to vehicles and not other things as that seems to be an endless supply of humor for most children!
March 27th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Loved this post. Yes, we fill up on gas (and you should hear the way my children always corrected the way I said “GAS”…
As for the Wife Swap question. Some people we know are appearing on tonights show.
March 27th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Yeah, I always wondered why dipstick was considered bad.
March 27th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
I think it’s a variation of another insult that begins with “dip” and ends with a four-letter word. Because of broadcast censorship, comedians have been very imaginative when it comes to inventing insults that sound almost like curse words.
March 27th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
I love the logic as much as the syntax!
June 22nd, 2009 at 11:45 pm
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June 28th, 2009 at 12:03 am
[...] 10. “Her Royal Hightness.” 11. “A right Dog’s Breakfast.” 12. “How to insult someone in a foreign language.” 13. “Notable [...]
June 29th, 2009 at 12:02 am
[...] 10. “Her Royal Hightness.” 11. “A right Dog’s Breakfast.” 12. “How to insult someone in a foreign language.” 13. “Notable [...]
June 30th, 2009 at 12:05 am
[...] 10. “Her Royal Hightness.” 11. “A right Dog’s Breakfast.” 12. “How to insult someone in a foreign language.” 13. “Notable [...]
July 1st, 2009 at 12:08 am
[...] 10. “Her Royal Hightness.” 11. “A right Dog’s Breakfast.” 12. “How to insult someone in a foreign language.” 13. “Notable [...]