One time rule
Hosted by “Tracy” at “Mother May I,” but the photo-picture below will whizz you right there with one click.
Yes the holiday is upon us. Mayhem ensues. Entertain, play and fun are the order of the day but pretty soon that can dissolve into chaos, at least around here in any case. I am actually writing this a week ahead of time so that I am prepared for the onslaught, especially after this evening,s excitement. Excitement comes in many forms, be that a general over stimulation or the frenzy of anticipation. Whatever it is, we experienced it tonight, a collection of whirling Dervishes.
I knew matters had reached the pinnacle when I said goodnight to them. We have a little night time ritual, different for each one. I won’t bore you with the mushy details but suffice to say that once I had finished my little luvvies and stood to leave, my son asked why we hadn’t had the long version of the luvvies? As we had just finished the long version of the luvvies, I was less than impressed. My words hadn’t registered at all. Not one of them. It brings a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘whispering sweet nothings.’
It made me think, think hard. It made me think that if I am to single handedly survive 11 glorious days with my children, 24/7, I need a little more ammunition to guarantee survival, if not sanity. Hence this is what I came up with. It’s a deal. A deal between me and them. I ask once, they respond. Yes, I can hear you cackling from all the way over there. You know I am a rule obsessed goal freak, but in this particular instance I have an ulterior motive. The motive is to remind myself to first obtain the attention of the child to whom I wish to speak, before I speak. Yes I know it’s step 101 but all too often I find that I slip up on the basics and am thoroughly surprised when I’m haring around the house nagging three smallish individuals many multitudes of times. It’s exhausting, for them and for me, as well as being completely pointless. Far better to do it once, properly, for everyone’s sake.
I’m sure that many of you have already survived the Spring Break but if you have any tips, I’m all ears. Interestingly, the circle still stinks of permanent marker four hours later after I’ve tidied up. Smell-aversion should certainly grab everyone’s attention!
So here I am with my reminder. As yet I haven’t decided whether to make it into a pendant, a mask or a head band, but I’ll keep you posted.
Don’t forget to add your name to the “list” for the giveaway and help spread the word.
I’m considering devising a poll:- how many parents need to cope with the holidays on there own? But of course some people have to do everything on their own, so I’ll stop moaning now. I can just about remember what it was like to be a single parent, but a single parent with autistic children is quite another matter.
April 13th, 2009 at 4:53 am
So did it work .. wow it would be great if our kiddos ( special needs or otherwise would respond to us with onetry )
April 13th, 2009 at 5:50 am
Getting attention before speaking… a rule we could all use in every aspect of our lives. I love it! It’s so logical we forget to do it! Thanks for the reminder
April 13th, 2009 at 8:03 am
I’m also guilty of forgetting such a simple rule. Lately I’ve been forgetting a lot of simple rules.
I’ve also certainly gotten a taste of single parenting this past year or so with hubby being gone for work. I keep telling myself that at least I have his help once a month for a few days when he’s home while so many truly single parents have to do it all all of the time.
April 13th, 2009 at 8:15 am
Ours was two weeks ago I made sure there were plenty of DVDs crafts and games available because it rained the whole time.
April 13th, 2009 at 8:24 am
I like that reminder. THanks
Swing by the ie mommy to see my entry for MMM
April 13th, 2009 at 8:42 am
I’m not saying I do it on my own and I have only got 1 child to your 3, but the Farmer is useless!!
CJ xx
April 13th, 2009 at 9:15 am
I think you’ve hit upon a key concept here, Maddy – and not just in dealing with children. In our relationships with our spouse and even coworkers, we get so used to hearing ourselves talk that sometimes we forget to make sure we truly have their attention before we begin. That way there is no miscommunication or the ever familiar “but I did tell you about that”!
April 13th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
I had a good laugh at your “new meaning to ‘whispering sweet nothings’” bit. I’ve been there…
April 13th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
I was talking to another Mum with a child on the spectrum just before school holidays. Much ashamed I confided to her that I do not like school holidays at all, she surprised me by agreeing and we were both so relieved to find another parent who felt the same way. The lack of routine, the challenges that presents.
My husband has just done 11 days of 12 hour nightshifts and while he is technically home during the day, he is asleep. He is not all that much help when awake as he is rushing to leave or in zombie post 12 hour nightshift state.
7 more sleeps until both my children are back into their normal school routine. We can do it.
April 13th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
No autism here, but I DO have an ADD son and a husband with defective hearing aids. I’ve found that the only thing that works is to: 1)Ask them if they heard me, 2)When they nod yes, I ask them to repeat what I said, 3)Then I repeat myself because they have no clue what I said. I’ll have to try getting their attention FIRST. It can’t hurt to try.
I homeschool, so the kid is home all the time…but I only have one at home so I guess that doesn’t count.
April 13th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
=D Entertaining as always. I can just imagine the coming chaos…as I had 4 siblings and we gave my mother plenty of it. = / Sorry, Mom.
April 13th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
If you pulled this off, I want to know now! And then please email your address so that I may purchase an airline ticket for my boys to visit you for training.
April 13th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Charlie does not have spring break for another week—my parents are coming out, but Jim and I do need to be around. I’m kind of just waiting for the chaos.
I vote for a headband or perhaps the more fashionable term, “fascinator”—or, more accurate to the situation, a sweatband.
April 13th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
Okay so we homeschool and I’m still trying to learn how to cope with 3 kids 24/7. None of my children have special needs but are challenging in their own ways just the same. My biggest way to cope is to remind myself not to expect perfection for only Christ achieved that. We also have a zero rule. When things have gotten a bit crazy or kids aren’t listening, which happens from time to time(snicker), I call out zero. That’s the warning, from there if I have to count the number I get to is the number of spankin’ that are recieved. It is very effective and I’ve only had to spank twice in the last 3 weeks, and only one each. Not sure why but starting at zero has worked so much better than counting in any other form. Helps me to remain calm as the ball is in their court.
April 14th, 2009 at 12:07 am
In a word: DVDs. And before that it was videos. Yes, I had to deal with the ensuing echolalia, but at least I could get some things done (also being a single parent). Lego has also accounted for many hours of activity over the years. Best wishes for a smooth week!
April 14th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Sanford markers…one of my favorite smells.
April 14th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Sorry I’m late to the party, Maddy — we’ve had the sickies at our place (and all of the charming , time-intensive dispositions to go with them).
I vote for the headband — most definitely the headband
And my advance sympathies for the upcoming solo flight. I will likely find myself in a similar situation for a two week stint coming up in the next few months. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Now I’ve got myself hyperventilating again…
~Michelle @ 5MFSN