Old dogs and new tricks
There are some lovely people around my neighbourhood and this particular bunch refer to themselves as ‘crafters.’ The term ‘crafter,’ is I believe, peculiar to America, as elsewhere, such people just have ‘hobbies.’ There are all sorts of subtleties that pass way over my head, as I prefer to remain close to the ground like the low life that I truly am. That said they’re a jolly and generous crowd, who welcome newcomers with interest and warmth.
As we age we become wise, or at least that is the theory. Personally I find that as I grow older, I become increasingly scatty, forgetful and what my son refers to as ‘random.’ I am prone to stereotype people, it’s shorthand. It’s one of my many faults but old dogs, mongrels, can still learn new things.
I find that I have learned new things and benefited greatly from attending three, consecutive, six week courses of puppy training. I only wish I’d completely the puppy training before I had the children. That said one of the things I learned, or rather had reinforced, is that many people dislike direct eye contact, far more than I had appreciated. It’s not just autistic people, it’s not just shy people, it’s all sorts of people.
I had this demonstrated to me recently when I attended a curiously American event, a side walk sale. A rough translation of ‘side walk sale’ is when sellers and crafters park themselves outside the shop on the sidewalk together with their wares to sell to the general public, face to face. I am told by those who know about such things, that the general public like to meet the people who make the things that they buy, although I’m a bit doubtful myself.
Hence, here is a picture of the lovely ladies meeting and greeting. Off to the side I am also poised, carving bowls. I’m side ways on, head down, absorbed. It is a non threatening pose that can prove very useful when you encounter unfamiliar dogs to demonstrate that you’re not an aggressive Alpha and just want to play. If I was Joe Public or the man on the Clapham Omnibus, I might step over the occupied woman and take a peek but I’d have a hard time meeting the ever so friendly and enthusiastic ladies, head on. It would just be too intimidating. I would feel obliged to make conversation and praise their work, which I may not like. I am a bad liar and I would be exposed as such. If I liked their work, then that would be great, but then I should feel obliged to buy something and money is tight.
So humour me? With whom would you feel more comfortable and why?
Hosted by “Tracy” at “Mother May I,” but the photo-picture below will whizz you right there with one click.
May 11th, 2009 at 6:27 am
I don’t necessarily have problems with the eye contact thing – though sometimes it just feels wrong. But I much prefer the “absorbed in her bowl” person than the firing squad at the table.
Why? She just seems more comfortable to be with.
And by the way,I really like your drawings.
May 11th, 2009 at 7:01 am
Love your drawings!
My preference is the “absorbed with their work” person. I feel so uncomfortable being watched over while I browse, being forced to chit-chat and feeling guilty if I don’t purchase anything. I’ll go out of my way to avoid craft booths when the seller is sitting and staring…no matter how friendly they are. I also avoid retail stores where the sales staff is instructed to swoop down on shopper’s the minute they walk in the door!
May 11th, 2009 at 7:20 am
I like sidewalk sales. I grew up going to them with my grandmother who was also into crafting things. I’m sure it can be intimidating putting your items out there and having to face customers and competitors head on.
May 11th, 2009 at 7:48 am
I didn’t realize that “crafting” and sidewalk sales were american.
I like sidewalk sales. It is easier to browse different items without having to struggle to get the stroller into each store. I think that if I didn’t like someone’s particular craft I would just comment on something else such as the weather or slowness/business of foot traffic or something like that.
May 11th, 2009 at 8:02 am
I do believe you’re a crafter (minus the over-kill eye-contact) and don’t even know it
Very insightful post, Maddy.
You know, I’m a fan of eye contact, but there are times when it’s appropriate and times when it’s over the top. Eye contact when we’re engaged in conversation, yes. Direct un-relenting eye contact just because we happen to be in the same vicinity, no. I’d be hanging out at your booth and scooting past the crafter welcome committee panel
Happy MMM, Maddy — love your doodles as always!
~Michelle @ 5MFSN
May 11th, 2009 at 8:16 am
More of your intelligent insights, Maddy! This old dog loves coming here to learn at your crafty paws.
See where Michelle and I used the same word – insight? Great minds think alike, eh, Michelle?
May 11th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
I have to remind myself to make eye contact. I’m the type of person who can be having a conversation while staring up at the clouds or watching people walking by. I would definately approach the person doing her crafty thing than the firing squad in the first drawing. And, as usual, your drawings make me smile.
May 11th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Fabulous drawings! And as nice as I’m sure those ladies must be, as an introvert I’d be much more comfortable at your table!
May 12th, 2009 at 5:02 am
When I attended a health fair (with all adult attendees) with some Early Intervention workers, I learned that the best chance we had of people actually looking at and picking up info on childhood developmental delays was to avoid eye contact and only speak when spoken to.
By contrast, the fairs with children were easy because you could have some fun activity to draw them in and give the parents some basic info (plus slyly handing more detailed info to the parents whose children you thought may need some assessment).
I’m way off topic here, I guess, but I would be interested in watching the woman who was working. If I had to approach the table, I would choose the two who were turned towards each other because they didn’t seem to need my attention or interest as much as the others.