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Slurping Life
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Many positive, happy and optimistic people enjoy sharing their triumphs with others and like to list the many things that they are truly and genuinely grateful for. Other people, miserable, cynical pessimists, have to try a lot harder. It’s a jolly short list.

1. I am grateful for the opportunity to further beautify my garden with the addition of small fencing to edge the flower beds. Additionally, although it only reaches as high as Thatcher’s ankles we are confident that it will serve as a visual reminder and barrier. Hopefully the strawberries will remain in the earth. Should this campaign fail we are quite certain that baths for Mr. Muddy will prove a more aversive reinforcement.


2. I am grateful for the many useless coupons from the supermarket which reflect the ever increasing amount of fodder that I purchase to keep my family’s tummies full. If anyone has need for vouchers for Preparation H, just let me know.

3. I am delighted at the new phrase that perseverates throughout our house at 50 decibels and 30 minutes duration:- “I’m gonna be dah fattest guy in dah world ever.” As yet we have not noticed any physical evidence of additional flesh over his skinny little chicken chest, but otherwise remain hopeful. This is the power of positive thinking

3. I am truly grateful for my son’s bravery, when he dumped a whole carton of ant powder on the single insect under the table in the garden. We are even more delighted that the ants have decided to re-group and camp out in the dining room instead. This provides the perfect business opportunity as grateful families the world over benefit from our new money making enterprise to re-stock ant farms on Etsy.

What do you mean?

Of course they’re home made.

Cheers dears

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