‘I am be…..’ – Career Choices for autistic people

This is a little phrase I hear every so often. To be honest, it’s not a phrase that I ever thought I would hear because pretend play didn’t find us for a very long time.

I don’t know your priorities but I would highly recommend the following – keep a list [yes another one] . Stick your piece of paper in the kitchen. Where else [?] and add to it regularly. It makes for a delightful easy splot of nostalgia; ‘what will you be when you grow up?’

[We apply this to all family members on the theory that some day we adults may have different jobs!]

Oh how it changes.

Oh how it doesn’t resemble anything that the typical kids come up with.

All the usual fire fighter, super hero, artist options never see the light of day. Instead we have an eclectic collection of options, phases that they grow through. Do not allow your older children to destroy it as evidence they now find embarrassingly babyish.

Now I suspect that some people are a little skeptical. Maybe a child is not able to speak or is currently learning to use PECs. Sometimes we parents are apt to be a bit pessimistic about the future. Some of us aim at independence but are shaky on the details of how to achieve that goal. It can be difficult to focus on the future when so many of us are buried the daily minutiae. All I can say, is that we have done this for several years now. Initially it was merely a initial exercise in extracting speech and engaging joint attention, one of the tiny steps in the equivalent of Floortime. It had the advantage of being a neutral subject that did not trigger meltdowns, namely, boring. It served so many different functions such as taking turns, listening skills and oddly enough, being in the here and now, together.

As is so often the case, all this time later, they now volunteer information. They tell me things because they want me to know these things. For some, this point is of no consequence, bewildering, why even mention it, but for others, the true significance of such a development is almost to tantalizing to think about. If you had told me 7 years ago that this would be so, I would probably have told you to go and boil your head, because I was even grumpier then than I am now. Now, it’s your turn to tell me to go and boil my head and I’ll see you back here in seven years to compare notes.

Disclaimer:- Dear google searcher ……….. asking this question will not make autism go away.

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12 Comments

  1. Mrs. C:

    Thank you for the encouragement today, Maddy!

  2. Danette:

    What a great idea! I’m going to start doing that with my guys too… we may not get much response from Bitty yet (probably won’t) but you just never know when he will :) .

  3. Barbara:

    When I grow up I want to be like Maddy. (Well, at least you can be my role model if am given the gift of grandmotherhood.)

  4. furious:

    You have sparked my curiousity. What are some of the things your kids have wanted or want to be?For yrs my oldest hf autistic child has wanted to be a dolphin trainer, he is 10

  5. Sharon:

    Maddy, I’ve absolutely loved my visit to your world! You’ve given me a whole new perspective, thankyou.

    I’m curious too….what do your boys want to be when they grow up? Other than spiderman!

    I still don’t know what I want to be…

    Sharon.

  6. Leanne:

    I dunno what I want to be when I grow up. Older brother wants to be a police officer, has done since he was a little fellow. Patrick wants to be whoever he admires on that particular day…could be the gent who packs our groceries, could be a teacher if he’s had a positive interaction there, I actually find his way of looking at it interesting.

  7. david mcmahon:

    Maddy, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.

  8. Kara:

    I’m with Sharon, I want to know their current answer.

  9. Willowjakmom:

    That just made me cry. I needed to hear that today. Thank you. When I grow up, I won’t be a crybaby anymore.

  10. brian miller:

    enjoyed this. my boys are 4 and 6, so we need to get on the list pronto. fun how they change. congrats on the POTD mention.

  11. Carrie:

    Great idea!

  12. Debbie Davis:

    Hi, I came over from authorblog. Congrats on the Post of the Day mention. Great post and great blog.