Multitasking logic and instant confiscation
British people are often, quite wrongly, said to be scatological, obsessed with bodily functions and toilets. Sadly, this mis-apprehension is further advanced by Gillian McKeith, whose programme has recently arrived in the USA. I feel duty bound to dispel this myth, as quite frankly anyone who spends more than a few minutes in a bathroom is need of some serious professional help. As for people who have reading materials in their bathroom, they too need their head’s examined. No-one should have enough time in the bathroom to read anything more than ‘please wash your hands.’ Some people argue that they are so busy that they have no choice but to complete other tasks whilst closeted in the bathroom, or at least that was the executive’s excuse, he who insisted upon continuing dictation back in the days when people employed secretaries.
It’s not that I’m against multitasking. In principle, I’m all for it and do it frequently. I suspect we all do to a greater or lesser extent, indeed if we didn’t, we’d reduce our efficiency quotient by some quite horrible margin.
Cooks do it all the time, just in the cooking and preparation department. Sometimes they load themselves up and chat on the phone, listen to the radio, read the recipe book, do a few rows of knitting while the water comes up to boil, plan next weeks menu, fold the washing……well maybe not, but you get the picture.
However, instinctively I some how know that there are limits, although I’m not terribly sure where the boundaries lie. That said, I know with a degree of certitude that some things should not be combined, such as knife throwing and swimming. Who wants rusty knives? Then a few other things spring to mind such as using a chainsaw and doing anything else at all. It’s just not on. Some tasks just require the usage of too many brain cells to permit distraction or the consequences are dire.
In my son’s case it is a different order or magnitude. Broadly speaking, I think it is safe to say that neither are into multitasking. Both prefer mono tasking, preferably without end if it is a preferred ‘task,’ more especially so, when the task is an electronic game.
Hence it is with a certain amount of awe when I find him in the bathroom. I see something that I have never seen before. I see something that I cannot imagine anyone ever doing. I find him sitting in the bathroom doing what most of us choose to do alone, together with his Gameboy and a carton of Goldfish crackers, eating, playing Mario games and…..well……doing. Forget the Gameboy! Eating and doing are not tasks I could ever imagine occurring at the same time. I realize that I have had a much more sheltered existence than I ever thought possible because no matter how hard I try, I just cannot envisage doing likewise. I am tempted to squeak something irrelevant like ‘Hygiene!’ but I realize I am silent when he blinks up at me, “wot?”
“I er….you shouldn’t…….can’t……don’t want to……”
“Go away. I am needing my privacy.”
“But…..eating and toilets aren’t a good match dear.”
“But I’m saving time.”
Somehow I don’t really like to make further enquiries, in part because I already know that in his mind eating is always either a chore or in the alternative, a complete waste of time. I can feel a social story coming on.
Maybe it’s just a male thing?
Don’t forget to add your name to the “book giveaway” and spare a thought for “Nonna.”
August 27th, 2009 at 4:50 am
We’ve used the Nintendo to keep someone sitting on the toilet but he goes now… well I have to sit and nag sometimes to get the job completed.
I too have found the goldfish and juice in the bathroom… And taken them away… “you want them, then finish up and come and get them”… trying for a little more incentive to “go” without having to be nagged…. I’ll tell you if it ever works
August 27th, 2009 at 5:54 am
I’ve always wondered about Gillian McKeith and her obsession with poop…
August 27th, 2009 at 7:25 am
Luckily haven’t had the problem with food in the bathroom. I do however have reading material in there, and yes I am a huge candidate for a head examination
August 27th, 2009 at 8:44 am
You’re very efficient when doing your business. Good!
I do agree that eating and drinking in there- not a good combination.
August 27th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Ohmigosh… I am laughing so hard I think I may need to run to the bathroom myself!
August 27th, 2009 at 10:30 am
He reminds me of a bunny.
Bernie-Bunny, my rabbit I had would eat and poop at the same time. He’d eat his hay and poop. Sometimes he’d lay in his litter box and I’d nag him about that fact that he was laying in his own wastes and he’d just sort of blink at me in a rabbity way.
At least it’s not going to the bathroom while on the cell phone… I hate that DEEPLY. Folks sitting on the TOILET. Doing toilet things while talking on the phone!!!! EW!
August 27th, 2009 at 10:33 am
Oh, yeah, that woman is on that you are what you eat show and she’d make people get some sort of colonic thing.
I’d hate to be on that show… She’d have a field day trying to make me eat rabbit food and pellets instead of delicious chocolate.
Can’t I have both?
I noticed her odd fixation on faecal matters. But I haven’t had cable in a million years.
August 27th, 2009 at 11:23 am
Oh my.
August 27th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Also I read in the bathroom, but this is because going to the bathroom is so boring and I need to read almost all the time!
Also I am very careful with books I read in the bathroom… so they don’t get contaminated…
August 27th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
The first time I saw my toilet-trained little one eating in the bathroom I was very much disturbed. That hasn’t gone away. I mind less (but not by much) the Gameboy. At this point, considering how frequently he forgets to wash his hand, I think of the Gameboy as a contaminated object. All the worse because it’s not easily washed. Your son is, at least, not alone.
August 27th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
I’ve definitely heard the “I’m saving time” line before . . .
August 28th, 2009 at 4:33 am
I’m laughing my head off!!
August 28th, 2009 at 7:10 am
I am constantly telling my son FOOD DOESN’T BELONG IN THE BATHROOM. It’s just too disgusting. Ew!
August 30th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
The logic is clear and most sensible….. my own boy has entered a stage of “the faster the better” and also “the least often the better.” Considering we have one bathroom in our house, this is a good thing!