The true price of love – in the nick of time*
Weddings are such a complicated business. But that’s one of the great things about growing old, you have the chance to step into the shoes of the previous generation. Now I will be a mother in law, mother of the bride. I have the chance to experience the very same angst that my own mother must have experienced a long time ago, or close enough. I distinctly remember being close to collapse by the time my own wedding arrived, a true challenge to my organizational skills, as the only way to command a cheap wedding is to do it all yourself. Hence, at short notice, a mere two weeks, I attempt to do likewise for own my daughter as she marries Mr. B, but I have other far more complicated hurdles to jump this time. Those hurdles consist mainly of explaining the concept of marriage to my children with their many and various perspectives upon life. My son takes the news the hardest, close to tears because weddings are a very emotional time.
“But I don want Mr. B to marry her.”
“Oh dear. Why not luvvy?”
“Coz he is my friend.”
“Yes he is, but he’s her friend too. You can have more than one friend. Just because they’re getting married doesn’t mean that he won’t be your friend any more.”
“It won’t be dah same.”
“Well….”
“Is he gonna leave?”
“No, they’ll both say here with us, a big family of 8, so you’ll still see him every day.”
“But then they’ll be the babies.”
“What babies?”
“They’ll have babies and then he won’t love me no more.”
“Oh there won’t be any babies for a very long time, you don’t have to worry about that, babies come later, much later.”
I hope.
“Besides, you love babies, so that won’t be too bad.”
“Yeah but you can’t love babies and your friends.”
“Believe me, there’s enough love for everyone, you definitely don’t have to worry about that one.”
“It stinks.”
“What does? Babies? Babies nappies?”
“No! Getting married stinks.”
“Actually, you know I’ve been thinking.”
“Wot?”
“When they’re married, Mr. B will still be your friend, but do you know what else he’ll be?”
“No.”
“He’ll be your brother in law.”
“Brother?”
“Brother in law.”
His skull hits my sternum like a medicine ball as his finger tips dig into my flesh, overcome, wordless and ecstatic.
September 20th, 2009 at 2:58 am
Congratulations, Maddy, and to your family, and the new brothers-in-law.
That’s a very sweet post.
September 20th, 2009 at 5:22 am
Oh, I feel like he just hit me in the sternum, too! His joy and anxiety all rolled up together…so sweet, so beautiful. Yeah, I don’t mind telling you this made me cry today. Of course, I always cry at weddings…
Wishing the bride and groom the loveliest and strongest of marriages. And wishing you a spa day to recover when it’s all over!
September 20th, 2009 at 5:50 am
A couple of meaningful words and – happiness!
September 20th, 2009 at 6:40 am
“Actually, you know I’ve been thinking.”
“Wot?”
“When they’re married, Mr. B will still be your friend, but do you know what else he’ll be?”
“No.”
“He’ll be your brother in law.”
Brilliant, Maddy. Simply brilliant.
Wishing the bride and groom all the happiness there is in the world, and the strength, perseverence, and faith to find it together.
Joe
September 20th, 2009 at 7:23 am
Awwww. YOu handled that exceptionally
)
September 20th, 2009 at 7:33 am
aw, bless his little heart. doesn’t it make you wish you coudl crawl inside their heads to understand how they quite got the misunderstanding they have? glad you could remedy it for him though.
September 20th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
This is absolutely precious.
September 20th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
How sweet!! Sounds like you made his day (year)!
Congrats to your daughter & your family
.
September 20th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Doesn’t get any better than ecstasy. You have the knack, Maddy, you do.
September 20th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
Congratulations to all of you, especially the ecstatic new brother-in-law.
September 21st, 2009 at 4:43 am
It must have been wonderful to see the realisation come over him Maddy!
September 21st, 2009 at 6:07 am
Oh wow, that made me cry too. Bless his little heart and best wishes to the bride and groom.
September 21st, 2009 at 7:46 am
Aww, that is such a precious exchange! Congratulations to your family, and best wishes to the bride and groom!
September 21st, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Congrats to all of you; great catch on your part.
September 23rd, 2009 at 7:35 am
Looking for you to re-surface soon. No pressure. (Yes, I recall what the rest of this week holds for your family.)
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Bravo!
Once upon a time when I still had siblings and a living father, we traveled from Wisconsin to St. Louis for the second marriage of my (step)sister. It was a very small affair, just the bride,groom and her son up at the alter exchanging “family vow” when concluded, the minister faced the rest of the family in our pews and encouraged all of us to pray for the “new family” that God had created. Evan then let out a shriek…WHAT ABOUT THE OLD FAMILY? SHE IS MY AUNT? I STILL WANT MY AUNT! AND MY COUSIN! And then he had a complete meltdown. It was awesome.
I like the way you handled it much better.
September 24th, 2009 at 6:42 am
Congratulations to your daughter and all your family for this new (official) addition to your family!
September 25th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Mazeltov!! Best wishes to your whole family on the new family member(s). Like most things that just almost bust a gasket, weddings make for nice pictures, good memories, and wonderful laughs over family gatherings later.
May the blessings start right away (but not the babies).
September 26th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
Aww cute post.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:27 am
Congratulations all round!
Aww lovely insight!
October 5th, 2009 at 11:06 pm
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October 10th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
So sweet.
Congratulations to your growing family!