Waiting
Child abductions are rare but currently in the news, as are a rash of sex offenders. These things are on my mind when my son unlocks all the locks on the front door and bounds out into the garden at 7:40 in the morning. He dashes down the path all legs and limbs like Bambi. He stops at the gate and hangs on it before he glances back at me to give me a thumbs up sign. He gives me another thumbs up sign because he knows that I am old and may not understand the hand gesture of the young and hopefully hip because he’s considerate like that. He argues with himself for a few moments, debating. I watch him debate as he weighs the matter up, both sides before his better side sighs and stomps back to the house, to me, his mother, who is waiting. He takes the ‘yell through the open window’ option, “iz o.k. mom……I’m waiting for dah bus.” I beam, “I guessed that!” He flaps a hand in my direction a dismissal and a whatever before his feet turn to propel him back to his waiting position, his body follows a nano second later.
Too many ‘firsts’ to count.
He does press ups on the gate post to pass the time of day. His body is precarious as it wobbles to and fro over the top of the gate but he doesn’t topple over into the street. His cat waits with him winding in and out of the picket fence posts. I watch from behind the window as a humming bird darts in and out of the flowers in the forefront with the back drop of my son, my much larger son. He gasps as the cat departs and flits across the road. I watch him resist but impulse control is always a trial. I know he’d fall for that one:- ‘here’s a picture of my kitten, can you help me find him?’ We’ve talked about it with all of them but there will always be a new line of temptation for the unwary. Children by their very nature are unwary. Parents see them grow and learn, we are wary, worried and watchful because we need to nurture their independence without paying a higher price. He vaults into a victory dance, opened mouthed silent yelling as the bus pulls in.
September 4th, 2009 at 4:17 am
You’re very brave, Maddie. It’s hard to let them have their independence. I commend you for hanging back.
September 4th, 2009 at 4:27 am
Yesterday talking to the VP I discovered that NOBODY had told her little boy was a runner. NOBODY told her that fence in the primary side was built to keep him in and they’d repaired it regularly to keep him in.
Could you have imagined, next Tues, minimal supervision…… village and highway….
Eldest was taught long ago about the bus. We started both of us at the road, then both of us at the porch and he going on his own and now he goes on his own either from the house or road depending on what he feels like that day…. I find him to be very “litteral” when it comes to the rules, but that impulse control/street sense still doesn’t exist.
S.
September 4th, 2009 at 4:36 am
What a lovely garden!
It never ends, the letting go. Congratulations to your son…I’m sure he will continue to amaze you, and himself!!
September 4th, 2009 at 4:43 am
What a sweet description of your morning, especially the double thumbs up
. I kwym, we worry about those things too. We’ve talked to the boys about it but it’s hard to know how much they really get it. Especially when they respond with, “don’t worry, Mama, I’ll just kick them (bad guys), I’m brave!” ugh… we had a whole discussion about how even if we’re brave we don’t try to beat up bad guys, we stay AWAY from them. Scares me more to think they probably wouldn’t recognize a “bad guy” who acts all nice…
You did good – giving him a sense of independence while still keeping an eye out for him
.
September 4th, 2009 at 8:55 am
Some of the hardest things we do as parents is what our children grow up and away from us. Sounds to me like you’re doing an admirable job with it, though!
September 4th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Ohh I know it’s sooo hard. I remember the last time I asked my son what to do if someone pulls up and asks him something, he put up his fists and said “you betta beat it.” They get most of this from school too. But you are right, it’s still hard and we still worry and we still watch!!
September 4th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
The steps to independence are exciting and scary at the same time – I think mostly for us!
September 5th, 2009 at 5:26 am
Bless his little heart! Letting the boys catch the bus at the end of the driveway without me there was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Good for him (and you).