There’s none so queer as folks [idioms]
He accosts me in the kitchen, burbling, the same phrase over and over.
“It’s not good dear. I can’t understand a word you’re saying. It’s sounds as if you have a mouthful of marbles.” He skips the next repeat, cups the palm of his hand before he spits out a large green stone, heart shaped, spittle covered, “does ‘my heart’s in my mouth’ be meaning ‘I’m in love’?”
“Yes, it does. Why? Are you in love with someone?”
“No…..it doesn’t work – I wuz just checkin.”
“!”
Without pausing for breath he’s off on another tangent.
“Ooo dats bad.”
“What’s bad dear?”
“Dat white stuff in yur hairs.”
“Ah, yes it exploded – I was lucky not to get burned.”
“Yuck it smells even badderer.”
“Yes, acrid charring is never pleasant.”
“Ooo dere is being dandruff all over your body.”
“I think I may as well give up and change, maybe shower.”
“Dere is being snow all over the kitchens – it is being like a winter wonderland!”
“You would never think that three exploding Chestnuts could do quite so much damage really.”
“Armageddon……..but smellier.”
“!”
I step to one side to retrieve the dust buster as my daughter skitters into the kitchen to whisper to her little brother, although not quietly enough:-
“Cun you remember what Mom said she’s cookin tonight for dinner?”
“Yes.”
“Well? What’s she cookin then?”
“Bad.”
“No. What’s it’s name? Chest Nut what? If I ask again she’ll have my guts for garters.”
“No. Not guts. I seened it wiv my eyes.”
“So what is it then?”
“Smashed to smithereens………….dah brains of small dead creatures.”
January 4th, 2010 at 12:53 am
A Winter Wonderland to Armageddon – ha! Definitely one extreme to the other. Happy New Year!
January 4th, 2010 at 3:34 am
oh, that’s prizeless
You should write a bok. Or several books. What exactly does Armageddon smell like?
The brains of small dead things…*snicker* I love that kid.
January 4th, 2010 at 7:07 am
“Smashed to smithereens………….dah brains of small dead creatures.”
I can’t tell you how much I love this!!
January 4th, 2010 at 8:27 am
haha! u have a funny kid!
January 4th, 2010 at 8:31 am
Priceless! And very, very inventive that boy!
January 4th, 2010 at 10:17 am
YES, they do look like brains!
January 4th, 2010 at 10:34 am
That is truly hilarious! What a great sense of humor!
January 4th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
He is such a hoot!
January 4th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
“Smashed to smithereens…dah brains of small dead creatures.”
Oh my, it’s like a line straight out of a horror movie!
January 4th, 2010 at 1:37 pm
Haha Maddy, They doo loom a bit like brains now you mention it
January 6th, 2010 at 6:10 am
Your children are the best for giving a new perspective on life! (I prefer pecans m’self.)
January 7th, 2010 at 7:15 am
i love the brains of small dead creatures!
my son was at the doc recently about his thyroxin dose and the doc asked him if he had loose stools. luckily he has been studying sayings…
January 7th, 2010 at 7:16 am
what i mean is i love him saying that – i don’t personally eat the brains of small dead creatures…
January 7th, 2010 at 1:54 pm
They dont miss a thing!
January 7th, 2010 at 7:48 pm
I loved the literalness of the hearts in the mouth…literal interpretations are always good for a chuckle or two.
January 8th, 2010 at 4:16 pm
I keep coming back for another read, and another giggle!
January 9th, 2010 at 12:55 pm
I’m laughing so hard I have to go now!
January 16th, 2010 at 11:41 pm
Good content, I will be back to read more
March 2nd, 2010 at 4:44 am
Maddy-
Love this. Most of the time idioms are just irritating for my little one and sometimes supply a chuckle. The other day, not so much.
Daughter comes out of bed into the living room to announce that “You can’t die unless your heart stops beating and that is not going to happen not even when I’m sleeping.” I look at her and resond “I quite agree, now go back to bed please.” Wondering where that came from but not giving it too much thought.
Two days later in car. . “Momma, 2nd grade is going to kill me.” I respond, “No it’s not dear.” She continues, “Yes, it will.” I ask, “Why do you think so?” She said “My teacher told us that 2nd grade is going to kill us.” I said, “Well, what she meant was that 2nd grade will be much harder and will take more effort to do well.” Did you think it was really going to kill you?” She replied, “Yes.” Poor Kiddo.