Speak for yourself – I am not a conduit
I understand some of it.
Part of it is woolly terminology.
How can it be a bathroom if it only has a shower? Why is it called a sitting room when no-one sits there? Dining room is meaningless if ‘dining’ isn’t in your vocabulary. The situation is made worse by parents who do not use language consistently – where ‘corridor’ and ‘hall’ are used interchangeably, at random. How can it be a corri’door’ when there are no doors?
Then there’s the practical matter – we live in an open plan house, where a ‘room’ may have two and a bit walls, undefined, not delineated by any visual boundary, no doors bar entry.
Part of the problem is that the name of any room is unimportant anyway – off radar.
Why is the garage a garage, when it houses a car not a gar? What about the kitch, what is it? When you leave, does it become a kitchout? Isn’t every room a family room? If you share bunks why isn’t it a bedsroom? It can’t be a spare room or guest room, and a day bed is a contradiction in terms. Only the garden is easy – out-side, enclosed by a ten-foot fence, with locked gates.
When they were little they didn’t have the words to explain the confusion. Now they do, and I’m the one that’s confused. We need a map for our own home, but we keep plodding onwards and upwards.
I sit on the floor with my youngest son, a pair, while the respite worker, Ms. G, sits at the table in the dining room – she’s six, stride-lengths away. Conversation is encouraged by not obligatory. I start:-
“Why don’t you tell Ms. G what happened to your sister yesterday?”
“Can’t remember.”
“Can’t remember?”
“No. You tell er.”
“I think she’d rather it about it from you. It was only yesterday.”
“Yesterday is being a very long time ago for my type of peoples.”
“What about all that drama? Tell Ms. G. She’s listening.”
“Don’t know drama.”
“Yes you do – when I had to rush off to collect her from school and take her to the doctor and you stayed at home and were very good because you used your emergency crisis behavior.”
“Oh yeah.”
“So? Tell Ms. G what happened, how she hurt her finger?”
“I don’t know. I weren’t there.”
“But we told you all about it when we got home again. Ms. G wants to hear all about it, from you.”
I look at his dead pan face.
“SIGH..Basketball is a blood sport?”
“Not that bit, anyway, don’t tell me. Tell Ms. G. Remember what we talked about? Being polite. When someone’s in the same room, include them, address them directly.”
“But she ain’t in the same room.”
I look across expanse, from the open plan sitting room, to the open plan dining room where a silent Ms. G observes and grins at me.
Sometimes I’m tempted to run away and hide amongst the filing cabinets in dad’s home off’ence.’
Quite a long time ago, we used a lot of PEC’s. We still use them as scaffolding. You can buy them from lots of different place and make your own to be more carefully taylored to your own child’s specific needs, however, I can across a new place where you can buy them over here as part of the Autism Network – especially handy if you happen to be UK side.
March 15th, 2010 at 5:48 am
I bought “writing with symbol’s” since he uses it at school – PEC’s at my fingertips.
BUT, I got the school to laminate my last ones… sigh.. they trimmed right along the picture without leaving an edge in places… Need to buy a laminator.
They’re my tub strip.. a few now have water in them…
BUT…. it’s working amazingly. Now all I do is rinse hair and supervise the scrubbing.
I have no idea how little boy mastered rooms… it was on the things to teach and… he knew them and followed directions to and within them. Eldest… it took a lot of work and if things changed the slightest or there was a piece of furniture that should have been in another room… UGH!!!!
March 15th, 2010 at 5:23 pm
Well, if they had some Latin, they would understand “corridor.” I blame California, or, The People’s Republic of Kali, as it’s known in the rest of the States.
March 15th, 2010 at 5:35 pm
Oh, do they read your blog? That’s what I think, every time I read a parent’s blog mentioning the offspring. Of course it could be worse: Lawdog’s blog is patrolled by his Mom, and she gets all over him when he cusses, and he has to go back and delete and edit. And he’s a big Texas Deppity Sheriff, and all that.
March 16th, 2010 at 10:35 am
*giggling madly* Sorry, funny even though I have the same maddening “conversations.” Love that he “doesn’t know drama.” Wouldn’t that be great if we didn’t get involved in it! LOVE you guys.
March 16th, 2010 at 3:23 pm
The language and communication specialty is definitely outside of my realm. I just muddle through with the words I know. Despite your questions, I think you do rather well.
March 16th, 2010 at 3:28 pm
Well, in all fairness, she wasn’t in the same room.
March 17th, 2010 at 5:02 am
There’s one consolation, we have to think more.
CJ xx
March 17th, 2010 at 9:21 am
It seems like forever since we’ve touched base. I think you are doing a great job. Remember, that often any kid will not want to talk or add to a conversation…….like my now 21 year old that went through a couple years where I’m pretty sure he didn’t say much more than, “Huh?”
Good times, those.
I do still use PECS on Parker’s workboxes.
I can get you a code for a new iPhone/iTouch app that I’m using to replace PECS. I’ve really liked it so far.
March 17th, 2010 at 9:49 pm
“Yesterday is being a very long time ago for my type of peoples.” – Nigel definitely shares this point of view!
March 20th, 2010 at 3:14 pm
Cracking up Laughing at Mrs. G not being in the same room… he had a point there, LOL!
My son is using PECS right now he’s only 3 so it’s a big PEC stage (i think, lol)… I will pass the link on to the mothers in his classroom, thanks!
March 21st, 2010 at 1:32 pm
What’s funny is how many words came out of him in the attempt to not have to use his words to tell the story! The struggles do definitely have their funny side.
To answer your question, I know precisely what “kitchen” really means. In German, the word is “Kuche,” and the word “Kitchen” means “small prison” or “small cage.” Some Germans have the word “Kitchen” posted on the door of their Kuche as a joke.
March 21st, 2010 at 2:21 pm
You Tube videos showing severe autism may be of interest to you.