Multiplying factors
I step out into the kitchen– my skills in the gentle art of persuasion begin flag – I need a deep breath before starting the other three double digit multiplication sums. I estimate that if it’s taken us one hour to complete six questions, it will probably take another five and a half life times, squared, to finish the last three.
My daughter peeks out at me from a curtain of hair, ear-buds firmly in place, so she yells in a friendly manner, “Wouldya like me to finish him off for you?”
“!”
“I mean…shall I help him with the last ones?”
“Would you dear?”
I can’t disguise the leaking pleading in my voice to my twelve year old.
“Sure. You make supper I’m starvin. And I am so sick of salad.”
What a deal.
What a break.
My savior, and dinner’s salvation.
Time to cook.
I beat about the kitchen but I can’t help but earwig as she takes charge, loudly, as her approach differs markedly from my own – it’s amazingly effective as she tells him how it is.
“Stop shoutin 4 x 7 over an over again! You know it alrighty. You know them all already. Y’just need to shut up and listen to yur brain.”
They sit on the sofa together; she – relaxed with soft open limbs – he – knotted like a pretzel, eyes squeezed shut, teeth bared, laboring to lay an egg, willing the answers to come. It’s agonizing, and that’s just the watching.
I stop watching and annihilate the potatoes.
I listen as her voice takes on a maniacal tone, “Just imagine that each answer is a tiny little chick and if you get the answer wrong…… the chick DIES!”
I drop the potato masher and dash into the family room, aghast, as my son tumbles off the sofa to writhe on the carpet. I open my mouth to speak and notice that he’s chortling, tears of silent laughter. I look to my daughter – “It’s o.k. Mom – it’s his favorite quote from the Simpsons.”
May 17th, 2010 at 8:17 am
Oh, you have me giggling over here — that is hilarious! Sometimes it pays to have a bit of a switch-up in teachers & teaching techniques, yes?
.-= JoyMama´s last blog ..Reconsidered =-.
May 17th, 2010 at 9:16 am
I hope not too many chicks died before dinner was served!
.-= Casdok´s last blog ..Expectations =-.
May 17th, 2010 at 8:17 pm
Brilliant! There’s nothing like a sister who really does know how to reach her brother.
May 17th, 2010 at 9:15 pm
That’s how it works in our house too! It’s always the Inspector Clouseau lines that send Nigel chortling to the floor.
.-= Tanya @ TeenAutism´s last blog ..Noteworthy =-.
May 18th, 2010 at 3:40 am
That’s a brilliant post; I imagine it would go something like that here too, if Amy had a sibling!
CJ xx
.-= Crystal Jigsaw´s last blog ..Holding On =-.
May 18th, 2010 at 3:50 am
Oh how hilarious! Love these glimpses into your life.
.-= DJ Kirkby´s last blog ..Without Alice – excerpt three =-.
May 18th, 2010 at 8:09 pm
Oh, I sooooo needed a laugh today, Maddy — you’ve no idea! Your daughter sounds like an absolute gem — and a hilarious one at that!
.-= Childlife´s last blog ..Monkey See… =-.
May 20th, 2010 at 8:59 pm
Truly hilarious! I burst with laughter! Grateful, too.
.-= Barbara´s last blog ..Falling Down =-.
June 5th, 2010 at 4:20 am
ROFL
I do hope they got the questions answered before the end of the world
June 18th, 2010 at 4:02 pm
It is good to hear of siblings close enough to joke with each other in a caring way. My son is an only child…I sometimes think he is missing out not having a sibling.
.-= Shiroi Tora´s last blog ..Kinesthetic Training II – Heavy Bag =-.
August 19th, 2010 at 4:49 am
That’s fantastic. I laughed and laughed!
.-= Fi´s last blog ..Waiting in the car =-.