I’ve never been very good at psychobabble but many of us have moved ahead of the guidance in books such as How’s does your Engine Run by the Alert programme and The Incredible 5 point scale as our children grow older. It’s not that we don’t use them any more, it’s more that there are new and different challenges to help them overcome, a variation on a theme.
First up I’ve been reading Understanding Myself, A kid’s guide to intense emotions and strong feelings by Mary C Lamia. This is great for young people and around here it helps reinforce the use of language to label and understand the emotions that bubble up along with the hormone surges. The content may need to be adapted to grasp some of the concepts but overall this is a great ‘next step.’
For my children I’ve not read the whole thing to them nor expected them to read it themselves since this would not be a preferred topic, however, tackling one particular emotion at a time makes the pill more palatable.
We’re also dealing with more grown up issues that some people encounter as their world view expands. In this realm I’ve found Don’t Panic by Reid Wilson extremely helpful. For me the counter intuitive and obtuse approach is difficult to stomach, but guess what, it’s a perfect match for logical thinkers who don’t seem to experience the same struggle. This is written for an adult reader but the underlying concepts can be adapted to better meet the complex needs of younger people. I particularly like the ‘don’t fight it off’ approach as we already know from personal experience that that’s an approach which merely feeds the fear.
In addition, Fully Present by Susan L Smalley and Diana Winston helps provide a more rounded approach to who we are and accepting our foibles in the big bad world. I’ll let you know when I’ve finished.