The Family that reads together

Hosted by “Tracy” at “Mother May I,” but the photo-picture below will whizz you right there with one click.

Just call me snap happy.

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Nonna always enjoys a good giggle.

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The Cookie wars

5 Minutes for Special Needs

A little voice calls me, “Mom! He is fight wiv himself!”

I think perhaps resistance is futile.

If you enjoy caption competitions and photographs, you may wish to nip along to“DJ Kirkby” over at “Chez Aspie” and test your brain power.

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Out of the act

With Nonna’s birthday approaching I decide that teamwork is the only way. My daughter and her partner agree to mind the smalls whilst I barricade myself in her bedroom to complete Nonna’s new housecoat. Secrets are a difficult concept to grasp at the best of times but I try anyway.

“So listen guys!”
“My job is to sew. Your job is to keep Nonna out of the bedroom.”
“Because I want it to be a secret. I don’t want her to see what I’m sewing.”
“So it will be a surprise.”
“Surprise is badly.”
“Some people like surprises. Nonna likes surprises. Do you think you could help keep her out……..distract her……something like that?”

I note the blank stares as their sister lures them out into the garden with the far more interesting option of lizard hunting.

After nearly an hour of battling with my ancient sewing machine I am all ready to emerge, triumphant with task completion.

Other people have also achieved task completion or something like that I suppose.

I do not like surprises. Message received, fully understood and executed.

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Survival of the Fittest

One of the many advantages of having an excessively large family is that it provides ample opportunity for me to exercise my powers of delegation.

I leave my daughter and her partner to mind Nonna and the three siblings, a two to one ratio, whilst I rush off to the supermarket to feed the hungry hoards. Within 30 minutes I’m back, fully and efficiently re-stocked for possibly another 24 hour period. Predictably enough, the house is in chaos but that does not deflect me from my mission.
“Right! I want every one of you out on the drive way to carry in a bag into the kitchen…..except you Nonna, you’re excused.” Three small people blink in disbelief, “you want to eat, right?” I add encouragingly.
“I am not liking yur disgustin foods.”
“Never mind that, it’s your new job.”
“Jobs is for adults.”
“Nope, not around here. This is how it works. I shop for the food. Daddy pays for the food, you do your work by carrying the food inside the house.”
“I cannot be doing dah working chores today.”
“Really. And why would that be then?”
“Because I am dah weakest one.”
“Rubbish! You’re as strong as a cat.”
“But my cat body is being too empty of the good foods for the giving of the energy.”
“Fair enough. I’ll just have to eat the three catering cartons of Goldfish crackers on my own then.”

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England 2, America Infinity

My son snuggles up close to purr with contentment as our holiday draws to a close. He is still at the ‘part cat’ stage of development but there is no harm in checking whether England has grown in attractiveness after an additional annual exposure.
“So………is there anything else you like about England now?”
“Um……additional…….extra. You like afternoon tea time but is there a number two, a second thing that you like?”
“I think maybe I am liking all dah alley’s.”
“Yes…….alley’s is being dah little wiggly roads dat are being too small for proper cars.”
“Ah! Yes indeedy. All those little cobbled streets are rather quaint.”
“Dey are perfect.”
“Really! You surprise me. I thought you liked large, straight and neat.”
“Yes but my cat part like’s alley’s betterer.”

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Everything is Bigger and Better in America

5 Minutes for Special Needs

Our daily route in our huge hire car on the tiny little roads in England on holiday. At least the new mantra has faded now we’re returned to the States.

Ooo the excitement!

If you enjoy caption competitions and photographs, you may wish to nip along to“DJ Kirkby” over at “Chez Aspie” and test your brain power.

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How to make a Luigi cake topper decoration

You may not need this right now if you have little ones but this is a mere glimpse into the future.

You will need several tonnes of white fondant / sugarpaste or ready coloured packs available from Wilton. Start the project several weeks ahead of time to allow the figurine to dry thoroughly.

Start with the head, roll until smooth and mount on a stick.

Add features and details.

Shape body torso and hands / gloves.

Roll out lower body and divide into legs.

Mould the shoes.

Add each additional part with sugar glue [take a small amount of white fondant and add a few drops of boiled water until the required consistency is achieved.

Leave figure out of direct sunlight to dry, preferably hidden to maintain the surprise factor.

Pop on the cake, light the candles, step back and admire the view of unencumbered freefall delight.

Why bother? Because sometimes speechless really is priceless.

Tackle It Tuesday Meme

Try This Tuesday

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Percolation time

Today I am also over here at 5 Minutes for Special Needs Moms.

We’re late, me and my shadow, but I drop it off in any case, together with a quick apology, “I’m sorry it’s a bit late but I was a bit tied up at home.” I hear he little gasp, the sharp intake of breath but I’m in a hurry so I pay him no heed. So many things intervene, overlap and pass over. It is only later, much later, when I am buried in yet more things that the questions trip out in quick succession for me to thread them back to the source.
“Yes dear?”
“Who what?”
“Who it did?”
“Who did what?”
“Dah bad fing?”
“Which bad thing?”
“Tied you to home?”

p.s. if anyone knows how to switch off the Hindi trans-iliteration function on blogger, I should be most grateful, another accident. It is disabled but oddly, it is still works. I’m on a Mac so I couldn’t use this function in any case.

Pop over 5 Minutes for Special Needs Moms. as I shall be on my holidays for the foreseeable future.

Cheers dears

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Bent out of Shape

I run in from the garden with a bent package stuffed under my arm to remove half a dozen red hot rechargeable batteries from the tumble drier, along with a disassembled home made scorpion. The noise is enough to make my ears bleed.
“What a dipstick!”
“Who is being dipstick?”
“The post man.”
“Dah… man? What is dat being?”
“Not what, who….”
“Who is dipstick? Who is post man?”
“Er not post man,….. mail man,…… mail person er…..mail carrier.”
“You are word trouble.”
“Pardon? Attack? Who?”
“Me? Attack whom?”
“No… are be an English attack.”

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How to make a moss stick

Tackle It Tuesday Meme

Devil’s Ivy is an attractive plant with dark green leaves with yellow streaks and marbling. It’s real name is Pothos [Epipremnum aureum] but commonly known as Devil’s Ivy or Golden hunter’s robe or Ceylon creeper.

Whilst it hales from the Solomon Isles, it is also the most common houseplant around. I am reliably informed that it is only toxic if eaten in very large quantities.

Most people cultivate it by allowing it to cascade down from a high point but since it is really a climber it will really thrive given some support in the form of a moss stick.

As it turns out, moss sticks are unheard of in my local Home Depot, so that made for another very curious conversation for another time.

All you need for this tackle, apart from the plant is a bag of moss and an interesting stick, freely available from most wind blown beaches, string and elastic bands. It’s a good idea to check the source of your moss to make sure it hasn’t been raped from your local rainforest.

Wrap the moss around the stick and secure in place with string in the same way that you would truss a joint of meat.

Try This Tuesday

As some people may already know, string is one of the many tools of torture around here and hence this task can easily be modified for those averse to string, knots and tying anything, by using elastic bands. Elastic bands are also hideous, but slightly less hideous, just slightly less hideous enough to allow tentative digits to come in contact with moss.

Lastly, do not permit a moss stick to have house room if you share your accommodations with a dog. A stick, even if covered in moss, is still a stick. It’s like a present: a tantalizingly wrapped stick.

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