British Humour does not translate

BW Latuda237

Bookmark and Share

Sleepless in San Jose

The trouble with sleeping pills, amongst many other things, is they are not dispensed in hourly doses. [translation = one pill induces 8 hours of sleep] If the standard eight hours of sleep are not available to you this means that you will spend between 3 and 4 hours, vertical but in a fog.

One solution to this problem [sorry – challenge] is to ensure that the parent sleeps when the child [ren] do. If the child [ren] sleep for 8 to 9 hours, then this would be the ideal time for the parent to do likewise. I acknowledge the sense in this approach, but fail to observe it. [translation = ignore it] Instead I choose to spend approximately 4 hours from 8ish to midnight ish, awake and child free.

The net result of such a choice is that after my head has been horizontal for about 4 or five hours, I am suddenly forced to be vertical again, as they all wake up at that hour in the morning. [translation = rats to Daylight Saving] 'Well more fool you' I hear you cry. 'You should pay more attention to your bio-rhythms dearie!' and as usual you'd be completely right, although I'd prefer the message without the psychobabble. [translation = if you provide me with that option]

No, as I see it, the solution is twofold;
1. Ban Daylight Saving [translation = far too radical and likely to cause lots of car accidents]
2. Manufacturers should produce sleeping pills in hourly doses. [translation = cheaper and would reduce the suicide rate by 99% overnight {sub translation = or in the daytime depending upon when the crisis of conscience occurs}]
Studies have shown that……oh we won't bother with them. I just need more REM sleep. [translation = red is my favourite colour afterall]

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to nip off and clean the bifocals, as I believe that may be a contributing factor to the fog. [NB it would be a good idea to remove the ear plugs too]

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Bookmark and Share