Sometimes we should just take a step back and listen to ourselves, as other people hear us:-

He holds one each hand, when I catch him near the washing up bowl.

“Don't put your balls in the water dear they'll rust!”
“But dey are be dirty.”
“We can wipe them clean, just don't dunk them in the sink.”
“Rust! Rust? What is it be 'rust'?”
“Oxidization…..um…..rusty….orangey red coloured, because they're made with metal, er steel.”
“No……my balls are be made of plastic.”
“They have a steel hinge. That's what allows you to open them and snap them shut again.”
“Dis fing here?”
“That's right. One side has the button, the other side has a hinge.”
“Oh dat is bad for balls.”
“It is indeed. If you get them wet they'll seize shut and you'll never be able to open them again. Then where would we be?”

Now wouldn't that be a tragedy. Save us from ourselves!

This is why children need emancipation.